The Sweetest Taste Of Sin
by SilentWords03
Summary: What if Edward didn't leave Forks after breaking up with Bella? What if Bella finds out her new classmate Tanya took her place in Edward's life? How would he react once Tanya leaves Bella amnesiac? E/B, J/B, E/T
1. The Salt Wound Routine

**Spoilers/Warnings/Things you should know:** It's all pretty tame...in spite of the title. It starts in Bella's second semester of her senior year. Any constructive criticism is welcome.

**BPOV**

As Jake drove through the foggy road, thin snowflakes started to fall upon us. Luckily, it wasn't raining. Yet. I knew it was a matter of minutes before the stormy clouds from above started discharging raindrops once again. I wrapped myself tighter with the jacket he'd forced me to wear, remembering where we were heading. The institute.

I was thankful knowing that I'd get through the first couple of weeks easily since Emmett's and Rosalie's scholar duty was over and Edward wasn't supposed to come back for another month from his _vacation _at the Denali's. Alice had told me, against her will, everything I might have needed to know about their relationship with the Denali's and the countless times they've saved each other from exposing their kind.

Although they say time makes you forget…that it cures wounds and heartaches, I was convinced that unwritten law didn't apply to me. My wounds were as open and sensible as the day they were created. Every day that passed by was an affirmation of what I've always feared…my love for Edward is timeless.

"…But you already knew that. Still, I can't imagine how you'll deal with the bloodsuckers" I heard Jake say.

"It'll be like last semester, you got nothing to worry about." I replied absently as we entered the institute.

"We'll see about that."

"I'll be fine, Jake" I assured him, getting off the bike.

Gathering everyone's curious glance was, by far, more than I could handle and Jake's new motorcycle was making it an odyssey for me to pass unnoticed.

"Here," I said, taking off his jacket "I don't want more people staring at me."

"They'll stare anyway. You look breathtaking." he smiled, leaning in to kiss me.

I felt my cheeks warmer as I shyly returned the kiss. I've never liked showing physical affection publically but apparently he didn't mind. That's something I'd have to get used to.

"Bella!"

I pulled away abruptly, embarrassed. I saw Angela and Mike walking out of the overcrowded entrance. "Hey guys."

"Hey." Mike greeted between his teeth. Mike predictably ignored Jake, focusing on the scandalous bike and asking a question I have easily foreseen "Nice ride. What model is it?"

"It's a Kawasaki ZX-10R." Jake answered, indifferent.

"It must've cost you what I won't see in my entire life…how could you afford it?" Mike asked.

"It was a gift from an old friend." lied Jake, irritated by Mike's presence.

Poor Mike didn't know Jake was a handy mechanic and that bike was nothing more than defective and useless cylinders piled up in a corner of a garage a few months ago.

The conversation continued as I drifted away while they spoke using a vocabulary completely unknown to me.

"Bella," Jake called after me, frowning. He let Mike bore Angela, going on and on about the bike, to talk to me privately. "I uh...I'll be waiting for you after classes."

Then I noticed he had clutched his hands into fists. A tremble started.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, hiding his hands in his pockets.

"Your hands are curled. And shaking." I noted, touching his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "Jake...what is it?"

"It's nothing. Really." he frowned and kissed me in a rush "I better take off before it turns into something."

Before I could understand what happened, he excused himself with Mike and Angela and accelerated the motorcycle, driving away with no further explanation. Confused, I turned around trying to see what could have enraged him so much…and then I understood…_perfectly_.

Three cars away, I saw Edward…staring at me. His expression was unreadable, impossible for me to imagine what was crossing his mind at the moment and yet his eyes were so telling, talking to me wordlessly. I felt powerless trying to look away. Luckily, Jessica and Mike got in the way or else I'd have made the usual fool of myself before him.

"So, how were your holidays?" Mike asked.

"Good…nothing special." I answered, desperate to sidetrack his attention. Where's Jessica when I need her?

As we walked away, I looked behind and saw Edward dropping his head to rub his forehead hardly, like he did whenever he felt infuriated. He wasn't supposed to be here for another three weeks or so, why the sudden change of heart?

I survived the first hours, listening to everyone talk about their experience during the holidays and their expectations for the upcoming months…just another normal day in my favorite rainy town. But the frightened hour of lunch arrived and I felt sick with the mere idea of fumbling before him or staring at him more than _normal_ protocol accepted. I did my best to keep myself from seeing the place they usually sit, talking inattentively to Jessica.

But as the minutes passed by my curiosity enhanced and I felt anxious to catch a glimpse of those golden pair of eyes that I so devotedly love. A mix of incomprehension and melancholy took over me as I noticed he was nowhere near. His pallid skin would have stand out easily.

"Right, Bella?" I heard Mike ask.

"Huh? Sorry, what?" I asked, noticing that Tyler, Eric and Angela had joined us.

"I was telling Jessica that, every now and then, you help us at the store to establish excursions for hikers and campers so maybe we all should go camping sometime."

"Yeah, I'd love to." I answered, sure that was what he wanted to hear.

As expected, Jessica's expression showed her disgust at the idea of having my presence at the excursion.

"So, did you guys heard about the new girl from Canada? "asked Tyler.

"I thought she was from Alaska or something." said Angela.

"Her sisters live there but she lived in Canada." added Mike.

"Who's this girl you guys are talking about?" Eric asked.

"Edward's girlfriend." answered Jessica, paying no mind to what those words did to me.

With nothing much left to do, I lowered my head. Now every piece fell into place…now everything made sense. She, whoever she was, was the reason behind his words. How absurd of me to believe that he could truly love me. It hurts to know that my sentiments were never returned…that his feelings weren't genuine.

"You don't know that." Angela accused Jessica.

"Well, it's just an unconvincing rumor, you know. I wouldn't trust the source much…though I _did _see them hanging together and stuff."

Everything made sense, as much as I wanted to deny reality and confuse it with one of many hunting nightmares. This was my truth. My reality. They kept talking but I got lost in some distant, but familiar, trance of indifference and carelessness.

The sudden pain proved me that my scars ran deeper than I once thought, that I'd just have learn to _live_ with this, learn to _hide_ this, that his love for me ended before beginning. And I couldn't show how these feelings were corroding me inside...no, I couldn't let it show. I was supposedly happy with Jake and Edward was nothing more than a distant memory, belonging to my past. I couldn't tell for how long I would keep this façade now that my past was catching up with my present.

I struggle to keep my body, and faked attention, equally steady while dragging my unwilling self to Biology class, expecting to see an empty spot next to mine. But I was mistaken. He was there, staring at me with confusion. And his eyes spelled mine once again, as if he was the one surprised to see me, as if he could share with me the pain our revived past was creating, the hurt our ashes were provoking in our wounded love.

With effort, I looked away and saw the new girl…_his _new girl, sit on the row next to ours. She was outrageously beautiful, her skin was completely tender and palely delicate, her eyes were as lucidly golden and unnatural as his. Her glance shifted from Edward to me, offering me a dangerous smile.

I gulped discreetly, feeling how my heart raced, and walked to my seat, leaving a prudent distance between us and yet dying to cover it.

"Good morning, class." greeted the professor, waiting for us to become silent, which took a long while.

The class started, and I tried my best to comprehend what the professor was explaining but his words were in another language for me. I felt Edward's powerful glance upon me and I slowly turned until meeting his eyes, feeling ever so vulnerable and lost.

I wanted to talk to him, ask him if the rumor was true, if he had replaced me with someone else but I couldn't even think straight.

"Yes, Miss Denali?" asked the professor, ending with my devotional stare contest.

"Paramecium." she answered, a bit smug.

I should have known it. _Tanya_ Denali...the one Alice had, accidentally, said that was in love with him.

His expression was as nonplussed as mine; lowering his head once she spoke, not having enough courage to look at me anymore.

The hour extended to a lifetime for me, as I fought the urge to jerk my head and ask him why he'd let me believe we had a future together, why he'd let me get so emotionally attached if I didn't have any significance to him. Releasing a low sigh, I looked at Tanya and saw in her all the things that I lacked of…but I still couldn't let my tears fall. The show needed to continue, I couldn't demonstrate how easily he had drown life out of my strangled heart.

"Miss Swan?" I heard the professor say. Couldn't he pick anyone else?

I remained silent. Did he _really_ expect me to answer?

"The protozoa kingdom." Edward answered for me.

"Correct, Mr. Cullen." said the professor "Still, I wanted _Miss Swan_ to answer it."

I shrugged sympathetically at the professor as the bell announced my freedom. Gathering my books to leave before demanding answers to my own questions, I turned to face him.

"Thanks." my voice sounded shaky and weak.

"Anytime." he said standing, not bothering to look at me, as Tanya walked after him.

This was going to be a long semester.


	2. Is It Better To Have Loved And Lost

**AN****: **Aw, thank you guys for such nice reviews! Made my day :)

**EPOV**

Gliding my way through the utter darkness, I remembered all the twists my actions have provoked. How simple words have changed my life for the rest of eternity, making me ache every time I remembered that the one I love was someone else's to hold.

I was before Bella's house faster than anytime before. She was asleep, covered by half with a thin blanket. Slowly, I entered as silently as I could through the window. A soft breeze disheveled her hair, allowing her aroma to dance through the entire room.

Unable to resist, I walked closer and kneeled to admire her angelic face. Her tender cheeks were wet, announcing the path her warm tears had covered apparently not too long ago. Without realizing what I was doing, I dried what remained of her tears, not caring if she'd wake and see me.

She rolled on the bed, as her body relaxed letting something fall from her hands. I took it and felt needy of her love once I distinguished it. It was our photograph. The one Charlie had volunteered to take us.

I sat on the floor, mesmerized by her tranquility, and wished for her to wake up to question me for my actions, to see through my empty eyes and notice my urgency of her. Taking her petite hand on mine, I saw her smile faintly.

"Jake." she whispered, stabbing my dead heart.

It was one thing to imagine her in love with someone else but it was completely different to hear her call out his name the same way she used to call out mine. I knew she would move on sooner or later but still…foreseeing it didn't diminish the pain.

Letting go of her hand, I jumped through the window to land on the leaves, noticing someone coming out of the darkness that camouflaged the forest.

"Are you okay? You look whiter than usual." Tanya said, concerned. Her seductive eyes provoked mine with innocence, intensifying her clear intentions. I did my best to show her that I still remained uninterested.

The void Bella had left in me was too wide for Tanya to fill.

"I'm fine. What are you doing here?"

"I volunteered to come and warn you about a vision Alice had."

"What did she see _this time_?" I asked, irritated.

"She saw you disappearing so she guessed Bella's boyfriend would be here soon." She answered, taking a look around. "It's good to know where this famous Bella girl lived. I was kind of curious."

"I'm glad you've satiated your curiosity. Still, I wouldn't recommend you to come this near again."

"Why?"

"Her _boyfriend_ is Jacob Black, from the Quileute's tribe. We avoid coinciding with him to guarantee our word of peace. He wouldn't hesitate to start a fight that would break the pact." I explained, lifting my glance to look just one more time at Bella's window. "Besides, we don't have a justifiable reason to be here."

"You mean _I _don't have a justifiable reason to be here…because it's obvious that you do." I was surprised at her blunt comment, wishing Bella could see through my lies with such clarity. "It's okay, Edward. I'm willing to wait."

I stared at her, not wanting to be impolite or rude. I needed to find a way to make her _understand_ that I could never have those types of emotions for anyone else besides my Bella.

"We should get going. He'll be here soon." she said.

And she disappeared before I could reply. On the other side of the forest, I heard footsteps approaching with a great velocity, confirming Alice's vision. Hesitant, I followed the same path Tanya had covered seconds ago, knowing running was a mistake but not having the courage to face what I was leaving behind.

Once home, I avoided everyone to keep my angst drown inside. No one needed to know the depth of my grief.

_We're showing Tanya the surroundings so she can go hunting on her own; would you like to join us_? Esme asked inwardly. I slowly shook my head.

I needed time...to accept the consequences of the choices I've made. It didn't matter how much I wanted to intervene and tell Bella how I feel, now I was no one to advice her or to protect her…much less to love her.

"Okay then, we should get going." Jasper told Tanya, as Esme joined them. Luckily, Carlisle was at the hospital and Emmett and Rosalie were far from home. I'd have a couple of hours on my own.

As soon as I heard the entrance door shut, I dragged my body to the piano and sat to simply stare at the keys. I haven't composed in so long; sorrow had fogged my desire to play.

My hands caressed gently the dusted keys, as my tormented emotions took over and dominated the notes. Slowly, I started to play her lullaby, welcoming the memories to haunt me. Her voice, her warm embrace, her tempting scent…everything was just so overwhelming, leaving me with no desire to continue living the lie I've been trying to make her believe, the path I forced her to take…making it look like she had an option, like she had a choice, when the decision was mine alone.

I still feel the desperation that wrapped me once her eyes questioned mine, as if pleading me to take back those words…as if asking me if this was our end. How different it'd have been if I've been honest.

"After what we saw today at school…do you still think it is a good idea to let Bella believe you're better off without her?" Alice asked, standing behind me.

Trying to ignore her question, I changed the notes to something sadder that could describe how I truly feel without having to speak. She knew me well enough to imagine that my silence would be the only response she'd get, so it was no surprise when she stood before the piano, trying to get my attention.

"I thought you leaved with Tanya." I lied, trying to sidetrack the conversation.

"I was going to but I needed to talk to you." she replied. I lowered my head, playing faster, leaving my dark notes as only response. "I know this isn't something you feel pleased to talk about but would you, at least, _try _to speak to me?"

I knew she wouldn't give up so easily, and I couldn't stand my own conscience anymore, so I gave in, taking my hands off the keys abruptly and lifting my glance so that she could see the unhidden emotions reflected through my absent glance.

"Fine. What do you want me to say?"

"The truth." she said, walking closer "I thought you came back sooner for her, to tell her everything."

"I came back because you couldn't _see _her through your visions anymore, always keeping your thoughts from me everytime you saw her _disappearing_." I said, taking out my impotence on her.

"So that's it? You just wanted to make sure she was safe? It doesn't matter if she's torn apart or if she's _unhappy_ as long as she's _safe.._.right?"

"Does it _really_ matter why I came back? She _is_ happy and confessing her everything would just ruin the life she'd built in my absence. You know perfectly this is tearing me to pieces." I said, moving hastily to the window.

"Is it? 'Cause you're acting the opposite way."

Nothing I could say would express properly what Bella means to me or the sacrifice I was doing by letting her go, even when I knew life without her would be senseless.

"I want Bella to be with someone that could protect her, someone that could provide her everything I'd have deprived her from."

"Right…so, you believe that a, physically unstable, werewolf like Jacob could protect her?"

"Alice, let it go. Bella made a choice and there's nothing we can do to change her mind."

"Well, faking a relationship with Tanya won't help you much."

"You _know_ I didn't want Tanya to join us."

"Wanting it or not, her presence had an effect on Bella already." she said "Why don't you tell her about this before it's too late? You know that if she convinces herself that you've moved on, she'll try harder to do the same."

"We both know it _is_ too late."

"It's so hard to accept you're the same person aching to be with her a few days ago. Where did those feelings go?"

I sighed, defeated and with no will to make her understand. She cared about Bella and this situation was indirectly concerning their friendship but she couldn't be more desperate to be back in Bella's life than I was.

"They're still here." I said, gesturing my dead heart "My love for her remains strong and her absence hurts so much words cannot describe it."

I expected an immediate reply from her, but she remained silent and looked away, inhaling deeply, trying to gather enough patience to speak up her mind, since she was keeping her thoughts from me. I didn't need to hear them to know what was crossing her mind; her expression was enough for me to feel out of arguments.

"Look, you may think that time will make her forgive and forget but remember that time could make her forget and _resent._"

"I know, Alice...I know." I sighed "But how could she obviate everything that I put her through? How can she ignore all the lies I made her believe? I can't stop thinking she'll reject me."

"You know her better than that." she said. "Besides, there's no mistake worse than the one that's not made. Even if she doesn't forgive you right away, you need to prove her your intentions...prove her that she's the one for you."

I agreed with a small grin.

"You're a really good conscience, you know."

She simply stared at me, concerned about the collateral damage. I knew the look painted on her face. She was processing a plan…a strategy, foreseeing a flaw, an obstacle. "It's a matter of time before Jacob finds out. He won't let her go so easily."

"I could care less if he knows or not. I'm claiming back what's mine."


	3. Than To Have Never Loved Before?

**BPOV**

I woke up startled, sweated and with arrhythmia. Raindrops hit hardly the roof announcing the birth of another grateful morning as distant thunders confirmed it was about to stay that way for the rest of the day. Knowing Charlie wouldn't be around for the next couple of days, I took my time preparing myself, considering the idea of staying home.

As I expected, my thoughts were completely sidetracked to my sweetest taboo…Edward. The image of his girlfriend took away my will to assist classes today…and the rest of the semester.

Just when I was finishing my non-nutritive breakfast, I heard a familiar honk announcing it was time to face my crude reality. I gathered my books and my impermeable to join Jake before I could change my mind and stay in my room like a hermit.

"Good morning, sunshine." he greeted me with a grin, leaning in for a brief kiss.

"It has been so long since I've seen one." I muttered, jumping on the motorcycle. "Did you sleep?"

"Not really." he admitted. He had explained me that his new hormones were too hyperactive to rest-and he had purple circles under his eyes to prove it- "I stopped by last night."

"You did?" I asked "Huh. So, what did I say during my sleep this time?"

"I don't know, I was sidetracked by that bloodsucker stinky smell on your bedroom." he exclaimed, speeding up.

"Who? Alice?"

"No. At least the pixie doesn't smell _that_ bad."

Then it must've been…

"_Edward_?" I asked in disbelief.

"Uhu. I almost got him."

This didn't make sense. Edward knows werewolves could perceive his scent from miles away...why would he leave a trace so willingly? But more important, what was he doing at my place?

"Honestly, I don't know what could've brought him around."

"As hard as it is to believe, I'm more concerned about other smell that was mixed with his. I don't know who it was. It's driving me insane."

The only one I could think about was Tanya…but I have promised myself to not bring that up so Jake wouldn't know why I'd be happy in a moment and drown in tears the next one. I guess it's better to let him know to avoid any misunderstandings.

"I'm sure that's...Edward's girlfriend."

"Come again?"

"Edward's girlfriend." I repeated, gritting my teeth. I could see his effortless attempt of hiding a pleased smile.

"I see..." he muttered distractedly, as if the news were amusing instead of relevant. "So...do you know her?"

"Not really, but I know enough. Her name is Tanya Denali, she has been a good friend of the Cullen for a long time and she had always been interested in Edward."

"Another bloodsucker. This town will be a freaking circus in no time."

"I don't want you to get in trouble, Jake."

His smile faded.

"I won't if he doesn't cross the line. I hope he doesn't show up tonight or I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Jake please, listen to Sam for once in your life. Avoiding Edward will be best for _all of us._"

"I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself if I run into him. You know I'm trying really hard to control my impulses." he said "And I'd rather if you'd stay away from me if we cross path with him. I wouldn't forgive myself if I'd hurt you."

"You _won't_ hurt me."

I hated when he talked like that. It reminded me of Edward's over-protectiveness.

"Yeah well, better safe than sorry." he said "If you hear me growling, it'll be my way of letting you know that I'm in control of myself."

"You're lucky Charlie is out of town or he'd hunt you down."

"Nah, I'd have changed my strategy. I'd have knocked politely on your window or something." he said, stopping at the entrance of the parking lot. "Have fun today."

"As if that's possible."

I sighed, jumping off the bike, preparing myself to deal with my contusions of emotions.

As I walked to my classroom, my eyes searched involuntarily for Edward and I regretted it immediately. His glance was upon me, fierce and intense. Dazzled, I stopped, seeing Tanya entwining her hand with his, talking enthusiastically to him but his face remained serious, focusing only on me.

Trying to keep what remained of my dignity, I continued walking until catching up with Angela.

"Hey Bells." she said "I heard you agreed going camping with Mike."

"I did?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "I must've had something else on my mind when he asked me."

"You mean you had_ someone_ else on your mind." she accused me, with a smile.

Our friendship had grown more personal ever since Edward and I broke up. She had been my support during the hardest months of my life, listening to me between sobs and offering a solemn shoulder whenever I needed it.

"I can't help it." I replied with a smile.

"So I thought."

"I wonder if his girlfriend had caught me staring."

"Seriously Bells, what makes you so sure that they're dating?"

I grinned, thinking of the overused quote: _I wish I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you._

"I don't know...they're _always_ together."

"That means nothing. He was staring at you."

"_That_ means nothing. He could've been looking at someone behind me."

"Oh, _please_. We both know what's going on, Bells."

"_We_ _do_?"

"He misses you" she smiled "So…do _you_ miss him?"

"Well, I see his face even every time I close my eyes, I get breathless whenever I see him, I'd do anything to be Tanya right now, not to mention that I dream about him every single night, does any of these count as '_miss him_?"

"Rather than miss him, I'd say you have issues." she giggled.

I laughed, agreeing. I voluntarily accepted to have _Edwardish_ issues.

Jessica joined us, greeting me unusually happy.

"Hey, Bella…look who's there." I heard her say, pointing discretely at Tanya. "Did you know she'll be your partner at gym class this semester?"

"No, I didn't." I muttered, feeling sick with the idea.

Snickering, Angela said "Jess has something in mind."

"Yeah…I figured out a prank _just_ for her."

"Girls, that wouldn't be nice." I intervened, smiling.

"Are you scared, Bells?" mocked Jess.

Believe me, if you'd know what I do, you'd be scared too.

"Not really but I don't want to see her comeback, you know."

"Alright, alright…geez, what a baby. Looks like I'll have to do it by myself then." Jessica laughed.

"I'm gonna enjoy it _so _much. "Angela whispered.

The day continued in my blissful ignorance…the only thing I was conscious about where the hours that separated me from biology class. I was absent; paying no mind to whatever surrounded me until it was time for class. Oddly, Tanya was nowhere near...which was completely fine by me.

While entering the classroom, I did my best to not look at him directly so my uneasiness wouldn't be so obvious.

The professor started talking, apologizing for being twenty minutes late, making me feel completely drowsy at his explanation and helplessly nervous at Edward's presence.

"…is why we have chosen this excursion for next week. You will be exploring the Olympic Mountains with your partner, looking for specifics plants and distinguishing different habitats. Read this material. If you have any questions, now is the time to ask." the professor said, taking some papers from his manila folder.

I lowered my head, not having the courage to look at Edward's expression. Would he be mad? Disgusted? Indifferent? Would he ask for another partner?…Tanya maybe?

He took the paper from the professor's desktop and placed it in the middle of our table for both of us to read it.

"Can we choose other partners besides the one assigned to us?" asked Mike.

I saw Edward tightening his jaw, clutching his hands as his pencil broke in half.

"The rules remain the same, two people per team." clarified the professor "If you want to switch partners, you'd need to negotiate with the other teams for the interchange."

Mike jerked his head, staring at me and then at Edward, who didn't bother to look up.

"Edward." he said. His voice gave away his nervousness. Poor kid, he must've wet his pants. Edward raised his head slowly, offering Mike a threatening glance. "Would you like changing with me? That way you'd be with Tanya."

"I already have my partner." he answered. In spite of his dangerous tone, his voice was velvet and soft as always. "The only way I'd agree is if Bella wants the trade."

Had he declined an offer to be with Tanya just to stay with me? Rain must be falling up.

"What do you say, Bells?" asked Mike, a little too hopeful and eager.

"I uh…don't know, Mike. It's all too sudden."

He nodded and gave me a helpless look. From the corner of his eyes, he looked quickly at Edward and then back at me.

"Well, just think about it and let me know, 'kay?" he asked. I nodded, watching him dragging his feet back to his chair.

"Do you want to trade?" Edward said lowly, but there was a sorrowful tone on his voice, as if he feared my answer.

"Do you?"

"I'd rather have _you_ as my partner. But it's okay if you want to switch."

"No." I said, a bit too soon. "I mean, I really don't want to have Mike as my partner."

_Right_.

A grin appeared upon his gorgeous face, as if he felt pleased with my comment. My heart started to speed up again so I did my best to focus on the piece of paper before me...not that it'd make any difference. Really.

The bell rang and I hurried to get out of the classroom so my heartbeats wouldn't give away how excited I felt…though he could hear it from miles away, but much for my dismay, I noticed he was walking next to me, keeping up with my pace, not even noticing I was nearly jogging.

"I heard you work at the Newton's store from time to time." his voice was ever so tender and soft, hypnotizing me subliminally, making me stop to stare onto those pair of eyes where I could easily lose myself.

"Yeah…why?"

"I'm... missing some things for the excursion." he said, smiling mischievously.

"_Bells_!" I heard someone call out for me. And the voice came closer until I could hear it from behind "Ready to go?"

Turning, I saw Jake. His eyes focused on Edward, showing his rage and how easily he could lose control. I knew he'd ask Edward whether he was home last night or not…and I feared the answer. I'd rather not know.

"Yeah, let's go." I said, dragging him by the arm to avoid the fight he'd have surely picked up.

As we walked away, I turned my head just to see Edward again. His face was hard and serious, staring at Jake but once his eyes found mine, his expression changed. His lips curved into a sad smile, as he raised his hand to wave me goodbye. I did the same, feeling confused but ever so glad at his sudden change of attitude.

"I'm _so_ staying around tonight." Jake muttered, turning on the engine.


	4. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**EPOV**

Another night had arrived and I felt disoriented, grieving to amend my sorrowful regrets. I stared at her window as the light of her bedroom went off. Hesitant, I wondered if I had the nerve to talk to her.

But then I heard a soft cry that torn my apart, making me ache to know she was suffering. I moved quickly to climb through the trees to enter her room through the opened window but something stopped me.

"Going somewhere?" asked someone from behind, touching my shoulder.

"Mind your own business, Jacob." I said, shrugging his hand off.

"_She's _my business. Everything that has to do with her revolves around me." he said, stepping forward. The moon illuminated half of his face. His rage was evident.

"You're over-protecting her quite a bit; don't tell me you're afraid of losing her." I said, remembering Alice's warning. Her visions were blurry, making her conclude that he'd spent the entire day with Bella at the Newton's store, probably waiting for me. I tried my best to keep my distance to avoid a fight but I'm not feeling _that_ tolerant now.

"There's no reason to be afraid. We both know you don't have a chance."

"Maybe. However, this is between me and Bella."

"Climb that tree and you'll find out how immortals die."

"Don't tempt me. I didn't came here to hurt you."

"Right, right. Your victim is Bella _again._"

"That's ridiculous."

"_Is it?_" he said, walking toward me "Why don't you admit it already? You don't love her. You never did."

His words infuriated me. Out of impulse, I grabbed his shirt, lifting him off the ground a few meters. Reckless actions were not habitual in me but it was a relief to have a target for my rage, to have someone else to share the blame and burden that I knew were just mine.

"Watch it, dog." I snarled, breathing elaborately. "Bella means everything to me. I would never cause her harm."

He didn't say a word. I held my breath, listening how his muscles became taut. I thought he would explode…but he did not. Slowly, and hesitant, as if daring him, I placed him back on his feet. His eyes defied me, staring at me fearlessly, showing me he hadn't attacked me because he cared about Bella.

I turned my back on him, inviting him to attack.

"Don't you dare getting any closer." Was all he muttered, enraged.

Ignoring him, I covered the few steps that were distancing me from the tree that would led me to her window and just when I was about to jump, his strong grip held me back by my ankles.

"Are you really _that_ curious to know what death is like?" he asked, bringing my body to the ground easily.

His right arm was pressed against my chest, holding me back, as his left arm raised, prepared to impinge on me.

"All you'll do is hurt her." I said, holding his arm once he tried to hit me.

"I can't hurt her more than you already have." he said. His eyes burned with anger as his hands started shaking.

"What are you going to do when you imprint on someone else and your heart feels nothing for her?"

"Unlike you, I'd never _leave_ her." he said, mutating before me.

His hair grew longer until his skin couldn't be seen, paws replaced his hands and his human body took the form of a feline as his teeth sharpened. Once completely transformed, his glance fell upon me with anger and he howled loudly, as if warning me to stay away.

"Jake?" Bella asked from the window.

I hit his body toward the darkness so she wouldn't see us. In response, he growled louder at me, hitting me to hardly on the chest with his head.

"Wait up. I'm coming" she said, staring at the nothingness in the darkness.

"She shouldn't see us like this" I said. "Is this how you plan on protecting her?"

He snarled, showing his sharp teeth in response, and threw himself at me, bringing us both to the ground. Tired of this game, and knowing none of us could get hurt easily, I kicked him back, sending him a few meters away from me.

"Face it, Jacob. We both know you don't have what it takes to be the one for her. You'll end up hurting her. Abandoning her." I said, knowing my comments were enraging him.

He stood on two legs, extending his body higher, howling. He glanced at me, showing me his teeth, and I saw his _human _eyes full of sadness and anger, as if he had already thought about what I have said. Though I was willing to wait for his natural instinct to kick in and crush the strong ties between him and Bella, I couldn't stay still knowing all the sufferance he'd eventually put her through.

With no anticipation, his claws grew longer and he ran toward me, prepared to pierce my skin, ignoring it would be useless.

"_Jake, stop_!" I heard Bella shout, standing before me.

I saw her extending her arms, as if welcoming Jake to see her but he appeared to be blinded by fury. She had tried to protect me from his attack, thinking that he'd stop himself once he recognized her. But he couldn't discern her intentions in time. When he reacted it was already too late, his claws had opened deep wounds on Bella's arms.

I heard her cry in exasperation.

"Bella!" I exclaimed, using my body as shield to protect her from another reckless attack.

Jacob stood before us, his pupils dilated with an emotion I understood immediately. An emotion that has been trying to drown my will to continue living my vacant, purposeless, existence. He howled, but this time his cry was charged with pain. And I saw him running away, as if wanting to take with him the scars he created.

"Jake, wait!" Bella said, standing from my arms effortlessly.

She groaned painful, proving me the immeasurably pain that dog had caused her. I hesitated, wondering what would be proper to say so she wouldn't reject me right away.

"Let me take you to Carlisle to check your wounds." I offered, as she stepped back at the mere sound of my voice.

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Then let me do it."

"Go home, Edward. Tanya must be waiting for you."

"I'm not leaving you like this."

"I can take care of it." she said, walking back to the house.

I kept my distance, wondering if her attitude meant a clear rejection but either way, I wouldn't misuse this opportunity. I entered the house silently and followed her upstairs, stopping at the doorway, unsure if she wanted me to come in.

"Can I?" I gestured the gauze, asking indirectly for the privilege of touching her warm skin again.

"I got it. I don't want to keep you from breathing." she smiled nervously.

I considered insisting, since she knew I didn't _need_ to breathe, but then I understood that maybe it was her polite way of asking me to stay away. But I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to hear it from her.

"Where's Charlie?"

"Somewhere around Seattle. There's this police conference he needed to attend."

There was something different on her voice, on her attitude. She seemed to be sheltering herself from me...afraid I'd hurt her?

"You don't have to stay." she said, taking some cotton from the first aid-kit.

"But I want to." I responded, gathering enough courage to get closer. Her delicate hands were shaking badly, making her miss the spot she was supposed to be cleaning on her arms. I stood behind her, and slowly took the cotton from her hands, feeling nervous as our skins touched. Unconsciously, she let her back rest on my chest, and I felt my nose lightly against her neck, inhaling her scent slowly. "You must clean the entire arm first. That way the wound won't get infected."

Without knowing it, I found myself whispering. And, hesitating, she gave in, letting me take care of her arms.

"Has he hurt you before?"

"Does it matter?"

"Does to me."

Surprised, she jerked her head to look at me, our faces separated by mere inches. Her brown eyes questioned my sanity at such statement. Then I saw how her astonishment turned into embarrassment, as her cheeks blushed brightly.

She lowered her head, turning her back on me.

"Jake has been…trying to control his temper. He can't stop himself when he's enraged."

"He shouldn't get close to you when he's not human."

"Even though he'd hurt me physically, I know he would never hurt me emotionally."

My hands stopped cleaning her wounds involuntarily, as I wondered if I had the courage to ask the obvious. If only she'd know that my own wounds hurt made me agonize slowly...that she was the only one that could cure me.

"So you'd rather be with the one you love even if it gets you hurt?"

"I think love would diminish the pain." she said, stepping away from me. "Thanks. I'll put some gauze over it."

She sat on the bed, looking through the kit for more cotton and gauze. I kneeled before her, getting lost in her intriguing and loving eyes. Her distant attitude demolished quickly as her eyes became watery...no wonder we weren't talking about her and Jacob anymore.

"Bella…" she looked away by the mere sound of my voice."Bella…please, look at me." I whispered, as she lifted her glance slowly to meet mine, making me feel at a loss for words. "I'm sorry for complicating your life time after time. I always promise to stay away from you and I always come back…just to make things worse. I knew how dangerous it'd be if you get involved with my kind and still, I couldn't stop myself. It's something I should've foreseen but—"

She shook her head. "Don't. We both know it wasn't your fault."

She was looking at me with such sad eyes, trying to smile to dissimulate her heartbreaking pain.

"I should've known better…I mean, let's face it." she paused, as tears fell silently "You would've never felt for me what I feel for you, much less with someone like Tanya in your life."

I bent before her, drying her tears with my palm. "My love for you _is_ the strongest emotion I've ever felt. You revive a part of me that's completely lifeless whenever we're apart and there's nothing Tanya, or anyone else, could do about it. And it hurts to know you're someone else's, that your heart might forget everything we lived together...that it might forget _me_, ignoring that mine agonizes slowly, longing for you. Every part of me insists on living because of you. I'm yours, Bella. Nothing will ever change that."

She rested her cheek upon my hand, closing her eyes. "You shouldn't be--"

Slowly, I moved until our faces were at the same level. Her eyes focused on mine intensely, as her heartbeat raced and her breathing became irregular and heavy. She must've noticed that my own unnecessary breathing was heavy. Without hesitation, my lips crashed on hers. Her warmness made it impossible for me to restrain myself from seeking for more and she welcomed me, as I felt her hand caressing my hair and sliding to my neck. I brought her body closer to mine, trying to satiate my need of her, trying to obviate the consequences that would come later on.

She pulled away, and I saw her on the verge of more silent tears that screamed at me to notice the pain I was causing her.

"What are we doing?" she whispered, sliding her back on the wall.

I bent over to rub her cheek tenderly. I took her petite hand on mine, squeezing it gently.

"We're being honest, love."

"This is wrong, I have someone else in my life and so do you. We had our chance."

"Don't say that. You know my place is right next to you." I whispered on her neck "Just…give me a chance to revert what I've done."

She placed her head on my chest, embracing me. And she cried freely, letting out the sorrow she had kept inside for so long. I kissed her forehead, bringing her closer to me, not wanting to let go. As I caressed her forearm, I hummed her lullaby, which had an immediate easing effect on her. She relaxed on my arms, eventually falling asleep.

I stared at her, ever so tranquil. Life gained sense again. This is where I belonged. This is what I needed, who I needed…just her.

"So you think you can come and take her away from us _just like that_?" asked Sam, from the hallway.

"What is this? Jacob couldn't kill me so he'd sent his nanny?"

"Let go of her." he said, ignoring my words, walking closer.

"I'm not moving."

"You're _so_ changing your mind." he exclaimed, as his fist crossed near my face, impacting on the wall.


	5. Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

**BPOV**

Distant voices awoke me abruptly, making me face the reality I was so afraid to confront. Tardily, I lifted up my glance, immediately distinguishing Edward's perfect features next to me. His face was serious and displeased, staring at a specific spot ahead of us. This is so not the way I expected the _morning after_.

Turning my head slowly, afraid of what I'd find, I gasped in surprise. Sam was standing in front of us, staring at Edward with defiant eyes. And I confirmed I was ignorant of whatever happened around me as long as Edward is next to me.

"Morning, sleepy beauty" Sam mocked.

"Wha-what are you doing here? Where's Jake? Is he alright?"

"He's a little upset but he'll get over it. He just had a rough night. Luckily, we can't say the same about you"

I lowered my head, ashamed. Even if I didn't have to justify myself to him, I still felt guilty..._pleasantly_ guilty.

"Leave." Edward growled, holding me tighter.

"Sure. And I'm taking her with me."

"Not today" Edward replied, standing before me.

Sam's hands were shaking lightly, proving he can control himself better than Jake, but I knew the outcome would be the same. I stood between them, watching Edward's body tense up, prepared to attack. Sam did the same.

"Please don't. Last night was enough." I said, attempting to ease him.

"I'm just looking out for you, Bella" he answered, exasperated "You're part of Jake's life and that makes you part of the tribe too."

"Where's he?" I asked, concerned about Jake's runaway.

"I don't know. He said he needed some time alone." he answered. And gesturing at Edward, he added "So you're back with him in spite of everything he did to you?"

"We're not together." I answered.

"You're _not_?" he asked, smiling ironically "That's good to know. I kind of got the wrong impression seeing you two cuddled, you know."

"He stayed to help me with my wounds." I said, hearing Edward growling lowly.

"Huh. And here I thought he was the one that occasioned it."

"I would never hurt her." Edward replied, standing next to me.

"You better not. She's one of us now."

Edward tightened his jaw, securing an arm around my waist. I saw Sam stepping forward, showing clearly his brutal aim.

"Sam, stop. This is completely unnecessary."

And he did stop. His eyes showed how surprised and disappointed he felt at my decision. But how could he expect me to applaud him for wanting to fight the only one that I'd ever love?

"Fine," he agreed, putting his hands defensively in the air. Walking his way out, he added "but I'm not explaining this to Jake."

I understood immediately what he'd meant. Once they turn into werewolves, all of their thoughts are involuntarily exposed so Jake would find out quite easily.

As soon as I heard the door shut, I closed my eyes, sighing. I'd handle things with Jake later on; right now I have someone else consuming my attention.

"Do you want me to leave as well?"

"No," my response came rushed and immediate "just...give me a _human_ moment."

"I'll be waiting." he grinned, sitting on the edge of my bed.

I stared at him, his eyes didn't show a drown sorrow anymore and he seemed radiantly joyful. It was enough for me to smile. Hurriedly, I did all of my matutine routine in record time, nervous enough knowing he was waiting outside for me. He offered to prepare me breakfast as I simply stared at him as he looked for the condiments over the fridge. For someone that didn't need to cook, much less to eat, he seemed way too handy and skillful. It took him mere minutes to have it done.

"Here" he said, placing my plate on the table, smiling crookedly.

"What's so funny?"

"You're blushing."

"No, I'm not." I responded, innocently.

He chuckled, walking closer to sit across me "So, did you rest last night?"

"Yeah. _Did_ _you_?"

"Almost" he laughed.

There was silence between us, as if reminding me that everything that occurred last night was not supposed to happen. My happiness vanished turning into melancholy as I tried to find the right words to choke out of me my insecurities, my fear of losing him when I didn't have him. I knew the pain would be unbearable, even worse than before, if he'd leave again. Maybe I was attaching myself too deeply again...or maybe I never fully detached myself from him.

"You _should_ leave" I said, standing to put the plate on the sink.

"Did it taste _that_ bad?"

"I'm serious, Edward."

"Wait." he whispered, holding my wrist. I turned my head but looked away, knowing the power his glance had upon me.

"We're late for classes."

"Just...wait." he whispered softly, pulling me closer.

He caressed my cheekbones, staring at me delightedly. I shut my eyes closed, getting lost in the shiver he was producing over my skin and I felt how his lips, carefully and ever so lightly, touched mine, as if toying with temptation. I exhaled quietly just to breathe him in, as my lips involuntarily searched for his again.

He smiled, pulling away.

"You're such a tease." I murmured.

"Am I really?" he asked, kissing my earlobe and slowly drifting to me neck. And, unintended or not, his voice was persuading me, making my blood boil. "Let me take you to school today."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I said, breathing with difficulty. "Tanya would rip off my throat once she sees _you_ with _me._"

"I wouldn't let her touch you."

"Still, I don't want us to be spotted together."

"You don't?" he smiled.

Rather than hurt, he seemed amused.

"It's better that way."

"So now we're secretly dating?"

"Wh-"

"Not that I mind. Though I'd rather let everyone know that my heart has owner" he said. I didn't answer, not because I didn't want to but because I _couldn't._ My voice got lost somewhere within. His eyes lowered as my silence intensified, misunderstanding my lack of reply. "But I guess you're right. I should get going."

"I'll...see you at school."

"Yeah" he smiled, disappearing in a blur before me.

I felt lifeless knowing he was gone before I could change my mind. All the pain and loneliness that once consumed me, invaded me again and I felt desperate to ask him to stay..._forever._ But his sudden change of attitude told me clearly he wasn't having second thoughts about us, that he wouldn't leave...or so I wanted to believe.

Dragging my body unwillingly, I somehow managed to gather my books to get to school. I drove unusually imprudent, as my thoughts revolved around Jake, wondering how I'd explain myself once he finds out, if I'd have the courage to leave him just to get drown with the fear of another catatonic chapter of my life if Edward leaves again. I felt as if I was betraying the only one that had been there for me during my emotional collapse, the only one that had cared enough to save me from myself, that had the patience to show me another type of love, completely unknown to me.

How could I love two people so similarly yet so differently? It wasn't something I'd expect Jake to understand...much less to accept.

Once at school, I pulled over next to the unmistakable shiny Volvo, hoping to _accidentally_ run into him but he was nowhere to be found.

I walked slowly to classes, hoping a miracle would fall upon me and help me remediate things with Jake, to have a happily ever after with Edward, and then I saw him..._and_ _her. _They were on a corner of the crowdie hallway.

She was talking, gesticulating a lot. Their hands were entwined and she was placing her head on his shoulder. _That_ was all I've wanted...all I'd never have if I kept hesitating so much.

Pretending to be on my _hurried_ way to classes, I walked past them as close as I could.

"..._and I want you to come with me" _was all I could hear her say.

I waited for him to reply but he didn't. Curious, I jerked my head just to find Angela smiling, trying to catch up with me.

The day continued ever so slowly for me and I felt incapable of hiding my sorrow. All I've wanted had happened last night and I've decided to keep it a secret to not hurt Jake. But I wasn't sure if that was the real reason. There was this vulnerable side of me that I didn't want to show.

Finally, it was time for my _favorite _class. He was waiting for me, looking around impatiently. Pretending to not notice his hyperactive attitude, I tried to walk straight to my chair without looking at those lovable golden eyes. They say eyes are the mirror of one's soul, so I was determined to avoid looking at him so my internal mayhem would pass unnoticed.

"Today we're going to see a brief documental about the Olympia Mountain's so that you all may have an idea of what to expect on your excursion." the professor explained, turning off the lights and adjusting the data-show.

As soon as the room was dark, memories paralyzed me. I remembered how intensely I restrained myself from touching his pallid and perfect skin on my firsts days in Forks...and I feel the same way now. It was as if my flesh was desperate to experience the bolting sensation of the collapse of ours skin. I wanted to have him close to fool my inner misery.

Surprisingly, I felt his cold and soft hand taking over mine under the wood table. I wanted to ask him what Tanya had meant by inviting him to join her...but I knew I'd rather not know, _not now._

I heard him whisper "I can't help myself."

"I'm_ so _glad" I blurted out.

We were on the last row so I knew no one would notice. But truth to be told, I didn't mind. Being next to him erased all of those insecurities within me.

"Where's Tanya?" I asked lowly, fearing she'd appear out of nowhere and drain me in seconds.

"She'd been having _headaches_ and getting tempted and irritated at the scent of human blood." he explained, indifferent toward Tanya's pain "She skipped this class because the room is a little small but she'll be assisting the next one."

_Great_.

Next was gym class.

It was a good thing he didn't have to go.

Slowly, I placed my head onto his shoulder staring ahead, not having the mere idea of whatever the data-show was showing. He kissed my forehead, squeezing my hand delicately. I lifted my glance, shivering as our noses shaved slightly. His breath stunned me.

Just then the lights went on, and I jumped away from him.

"That's it for today," said the professor, as everyone started leaving the classroom "Next time, Miss Swan and Mr. Cullen, try not showing so much affection in a classroom."

I felt my cheeks burning as I slowly nodded to the professor. Storming out of the classroom, I noticed Tanya standing on the doorway; threatening me with a furious glance. And to imagine that she was my partner on the next class made me want to faint. I hurried my way to the gym, just to confirm luck wasn't on my side.

"Alright guys! We're going to change routine today. Instead of volleyball, we'll be playing basketball." announced the professor, consulting his list. "These are the teams..." He started shouting names and I prayed my name wouldn't be mentioned. I'd give anything to have Mike as partner right now. "Team number five: Tanya Denali and Isabella Swan" the professor looked at me, gesturing my arms "You sure you want to play like this, Isabella?"

"I can handle it."

Sure. It's my partner I can't handle.

Unfortunately, all the teams before me had played quite fast so my time to play with my discrete enemy was, practically, immediate. Her velocity, even when she pretended to be stereotyped as human, was too fast for me to keep up with her. She scored four points continuously, making me feel pathetic for even _trying_ to score.

The game continued and I felt a false hope that I could actually win while the ball was on my hands. As I ran to score, she got in my way deliberately, making me fall. Much for her dismay, I fell on my arms, hurting my opened wounds.

"Sorry" she said, smiling.

I'll show you sorry.

Standing, I was prepared to show off but she pushed me back with an incredible strength, _trying_ to _get_ the _ball_. My wounds were on the edge of bleeding.

"I thought you were playing hard." she mocked.

I knew she was mad at me for being with Edward so I didn't say anything to avoid a fight that I'd have surely lost. Finally, it was my turn with the ball. She was trying to make me fall again but I conveniently stepped back, forcing her to hit the floor.

"I'm sorry. _Hard_ you said?" I asked.

She got infuriated and her eyes shifted from golden to black. A low growl escaped her and I knew the smell of my blood was making an effect. Without much effort, she practically caged me, bringing me easily to the ground as blood came out of my arms.

"That's enough, girls." said the professor, running toward us. I felt her strong and agitated breath hit me but the professor intervened in the right moment, taking her off me. "I said enough, Miss Denali."

Her eyes were empty and disoriented as she obeyed, glancing at me with thirst. I knew it was a very risky move from the professor to prevent her from feeding but she kept herself under control, surely cutting out her breathing.

"Let me take you to the nurse, Bella." offered Angela.

I agreed, feeling a little disoriented myself. While we walked, I heard Angela spoke words completely intangible to me, as my mind tried to process what just happened. We were somewhere along the way when an unmistakable voice called after me.

"What happened?" he asked concernedly. Angela explained, omitting the parts that only I knew about. I heard him guaranteeing Angela he'd take care of me and as soon as she walked away, he turned to face me. "I'll take you to Carlisle."

"It's just a little blood." I whined. Carefully, he took a tissue out of his pocket and cleaned the marks of blood from my arms. Then he walked me to the Volvo, holding the door for me. "Seriously, it's nothing significant. I just got to put on some gauze over it."

"Then I'll do it once we get to your house." He said. "Please get in, Bella." he said. His voice sounded anxious and preoccupied. I obeyed, knowing there was no point in resisting.

All the tranquility I've felt next to him was dissipating, turning into an emotional tension. I knew his thoughts would revolve around my safety once again and he'd end up feeling culpable of something he was not. Was it that hard to understand that I've accepted circumstances like this to get into his world? Could this mean that, in spite of all my tries and my frustrated desires, I wasn't meant to find happiness next to him?

He didn't speak until we were on the familiar road that led to my house, probably managing his ire.

"Tanya hurt you on purpose, didn't she?"

"I guess it was an accident" I sighed. _Who does that_? Why was I defending the one that want him as much as I do? "But I think we should get this as a sign."

"How come?"

"We're fighting against fate trying to be together and, truth to be told, I cause more trouble than I'm worthy of"

He reduced the car's speed. I turned my head, noticing we were home already.

I needed to find a way to avoid the guilty thoughts that would surely consume him, even if it meant lying. His right hand touched gently my cheek, and his fingers caressed my chin, making me face him.

"You don't want to be with me?"

Though I was trying to be emotionally prepared to speak up my lies, the obvious pain in his sorrowful tone made hurt me deeper than I thought, making me wonder if lying would be the solution.

"After we broke up I understood that what I want doesn't always matters" I answered "Maybe you were right all along. Maybe your world isn't for me"

What I wouldn't give to mean these words.

He dropped his head, not daring to speak. It hurt to see him like this since I want this as much as he did. Without hesitation, and in a failed attempt to back up my lies, I got off the car. That was something I didn't want to presence.

"I'm not giving up on us" he said from behind, getting off as well.

That was something new, and refreshing, considering he'd always been the one to agree on taking separated paths to grant my unnecessary safety. I'd thought he'd agreed with me immediately, with a sarcastic comment about how long it took me to realize it.

"You'd probably think that we can't make it together or that what I feel for you is a poor excuse for everything I indirectly put you through" he said "And it is true...it's all I poor excuse but I won't leave you again. I _can't_ leave you again, Bella."

What was proper to say? I don't want you to leave me but I don't want you to feel guilty either? You're the only one I've loved but I know I'd, eventually, end up dead? Though it didn't matter that much now.

"I just..don't know what to say or do anymore. I've been trying to prove you that we can face anything together but we're not on the same page. You don't see this as I do." I said. He stepped forward, looking at me with such lovely eyes, and embraced me tenderly, kissing gently my forehead.

"I always take radical decisions to keep you safe but I am willing to try it your way, to face it together." he replied "Just let me be the only one for you."

I nodded my head onto his chest. If only he'd know that he _was_ the only one for me, that even if I'd tried, I'd never love anyone the same way. It shouldn't be so hard for me to admit it but I just felt so vulnerable manifesting my emotions. He had the allowance to, either, shatter my empty life or to make it whole.

"As much as I'd like to stay and fix your wounds, I think I should get going. I'm sure Charlie won't be pleased to see me."

"Charlie's back?" I asked with disbelief, frowning at the idea of not seeing Edward tonight.

He smiled, amused, as if imagining what was crossing my mind at the moment and kissed me gently and ever so devotedly. As I tried to imply a deeper kiss by locking my arms around his neck, he stepped backwards with that naughty look upon his face.

"Take some rest, love."

Unable to put myself together and _speak_, I watched him walking away, as hope started to grow within me. I entered the house to find Charlie almost asleep on the couch.

"Bells!" he greeted me, getting on his feet at the sound of the door.

"Hey dad" I contested. He hugged me, making me feel his typical awkwardness. "I missed you."

"So did I, kiddo."

"How was the conference?"

"Same old. Quite boring."

"I bet you're hungry. Let me make you dinner" I offered, to avoid having to lie about what had happened during his absence.

"Thank you, I-" he stopped, staring at my arms "You fell again, Bells?"

"Yeah...it's nothing serious. Really."

"Huh" he muttered. I hurried to the kitchen to avoid any further questions.

"Oh by the way, Renée called. She said she made an appointment at Grand Canyon University for next week."

"She did? And where is that exactly?"

"Somewhere around Phoenix, I think it's a few miles away from Renée's."

"W_hat_?" I snapped "I never said anything about wanting to go back"

"Yeah well. She'd been hysterical about brining you home, even if it's for a year." he handed me a white envelop, adding "Here's your ticket."

I read the date and smiled involuntarily. "I can't go. I have this thing at school. It's like an exam so I can't miss it."

He stood behind me, reading inattentively the paper. "Sure you can. The flight is late at night, Bells. You got enough time to do both."


	6. Unplanned

**AN: Thnx guys :) Your reviews are pure love!**

**BPOV**

"Will you be home tonight?" I asked Charlie.

"Yeah...I'll be around to take you to the airport. I don't want you driving at night" he said "You're leaving to school already?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be there two hours earlier to catch the bus."

"Be careful. Renée won't forgive me if you go to Phoenix with a concussion."

"I think she'd be surprised if I don't."

I took my small backpack and headed to the door, hopeless at the course my life was taking. I'd considered leaving Forks just to please Renée. I know she'd never get over it if I miss the appointment.

Following my routine, I drove cautiously – maybe too cautiously- to the institute. The snow began to melt, mixing itself with the thick rain. The thought of Edward saving me from running into his Volvo made me shiver. It was the last thing I needed. _Definitively_ what I wanted but _certainly_ not what I needed.

As I entered the parking lot, I immediately noticed a familiar motorcycle. Jake stood next to it, staring absently ahead. Nervously, I pulled over and got off the truck, almost jogging to catch up with him. Good thing it was still early. I didn't have to worry about another encounter between him and Edward.

I felt the rain soaking my sweater quickly, as if reminding me to grab my coat, but I continued walking, determined to use this fateful opportunity before he'd change his mind and leave. Silently, I embraced him from behind; wondering what would be proper to say.

"Hey." He muttered, turning around. I noticed the tedious tiredness in his sad eyes.

"Hey yourself." I replied. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." he said. We walked to seat on a bench. His eyes stared guiltily at my arms. "Have your wounds cicatrized yet?"

"It wasn't a big deal. I was fine the next morning."

If only you'd know why…

"Yeah, so I figured." he said ironically, proving he _did_ _know_ the sublime meaning behind my words.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know you were with the bloodsucker." he sighed "Sam phased in front of me."

I remained silent, not knowing what to say. Sorry? It'd never happen again? It didn't mean anything? I don't know what I was thinking?

I knew better…and so did he.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I know there's a strong bond between you two. And after what happened, I proved what he'd always said. Maybe, _for the moment_, I'm dangerous for you." he said "But I need you to know how I feel. I'm in love with you, Bells."

Nonplussed, I stared at him, clueless on what to say..._again_.

"Don't worry, I know words are not your strong suit." he laughed forcedly, trying to enjoy my uneasy silence. "And neither is choosing. So I won't ask you to choose between me and the leech. I know that if you feel the same way about me, he won't have a chance."

"In other words, you're breaking up with me."

"I wouldn't put it that way. I'm trying to give you time." he said. "I know the thought of hurting me makes you feel guilty. I don't want you to be with me out of pity."

"So you're backing off to see if my feelings for you are stronger than my feelings for Edward?"

"Pretty much." he answered, trying to look careless and smug but I saw through his façade easily. I know he hated every second of this conversation because of what it'd imply yet he seemed so soothed.

"This doesn't sound like you…_at all._"

He shrugged. "What can I say? You've changed me."

"Have I?" I asked, skeptic "C'mon Jake. You're saying I've drown all of your stubbornness and smugness? I'm so not buying it."

Just then, the bus for the excursion arrived. I distinguished Mike and Jessica ready to get in. It was just a matter of seconds before the parking lot became crowdie.

"Don't get me wrong, Bells. I'm still myself and, _yes_, I'm hating every single word I'm saying," he smiled "But I'm doing my best to control my tempter. I'm trying _really_ _hard_ not to snap and I know it'd be impossible if we're together."

"It's not supposed to be like this...to end like this, Jake."

"I know you wouldn't have the courage to break up with me to avoid hurting my feelings but I don't want to be an emotional burden for you. I'm giving you space to clear up your mind and, hopefully, come back to me."

"You're just saying. I know we won't even see each other anymore."

"You can visit me whenever you feel like it." he smiled, leaning in to kiss me. He took a moment, as his warm hands touched my face. His voice turned into a faint whisper. "Have a safe trip."

"Jake—" I said, prepared to complain.

"I know. It's fine." he contested, walking away to get on the motorcycle. "You know I can't stand drama that much and I kind of extended my doses today."

I wish I could've said something to change his mind, or at least his decision, but I wasn't sure of my own feelings. I wouldn't cause him a painful relationship deliberately, knowing the months that waited ahead were blurry and uncertain. But still, I felt alone knowing he wouldn't be by my side anymore. I know our friendship would crumble if I decided to stay with Edward.

Once on the bus, Angela waved at me, gesturing the last seats. I noticed Edward wasn't here yet. Good. I'd let my tears fall before he'd get in. He'd seen my vulnerable side exposed too many times for my comfort.

"You're soaked!" Angela exclaimed "Do you want to change? I have another sweater on my backpack."

"Yes, _please_."

"Let me get it for you. I'll be right back."

I placed my head on the window, staring inattentively at the pouring rain. Knowing this was the only moment I'd have for my own, I let my tears fall, hoping Angela would distract herself to grant me a while alone. But much for my displeasure, I felt someone sitting on the seat next to mine. Turning my head, I noticed Edward's fierce glance upon me.

He frowned in disgust. "What happened? Are you in pain?"

"No…I'm fine." I smiled, or at least tried to.

Tenderly, he dried my tears, caressing gently me cheekbones.

"Did someone make you cry?" His voice was velvet and lovely.

He must've smelled Jake's odor on me. How thoughtful of him not to ask me directly.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now." I said. For some unknown reason, I felt awkward with the idea of sharing my fears and insecurities with him. I was scared of letting him in again. "You should go babysit Tanya. I don't want her snapping at me again."

"She'll be the last one to get on the bus to diminish the chances" he said, attempting to joke. He entwined his hand with mine, squeezing it softly "Why won't you tell me what's hurting you?"

"I'd explain everything better if we're alone." I said. He looked at me with skepticism, proving he knew when I used my unbelievable lying skills "I promise to tell you once we get off the bus."

He nodded, leaning in to kiss my forehead. I moved away a little but he moved along with me, letting our noses touch lightly.

"Oh." we heard Angela gasp, staring at us. "I'll just--come back in a while."

"It's alright." he stood and looked at me anxiously. "I'm taking your word."

I nodded, and as soon as we watched him sit a couple of seats ahead of us, I heard Angela giggling.

"You see? I was right all along." she said, cheerful, handing me the sweater. "He _so_ misses you."

"I miss him too." I replied, realizing the emotional chaos I was experiencing "It scares me."

"How come?"

I knew he was listening and this was a perfect opportunity for me to say the words that would make him understand why I haven't made up my mind about us. It was easier if I didn't have his hypnotizing eyes upon me.

"When we were together...he was the center of my life. He meant everything to me. He still does." I admitted lowly. "But since we broke up...nothing feels the same. I understood he's the only one that can revive those feelings that I've so arduously buried. I'm scared to death to get so attached to him just to be broken again_._"

There. My dreariest fear had been spoken.

"Don't you think it's worth the shot?"

"What if it ends up like the last time?"

"He's trying to prove his love to you, Bella."

"I know…but I keep thinking that he wants to be with me to compensate his conscious."

"If that was the case, he wouldn't be so att---"

"Miss Weber?" interrupted the professor "Did you hear the instructions?"

Angela apologized, lowering her head.

"So, once we get to the Hoh Rain Forest, the guide will be…"

The professor started explaining again but something else occupied my mind. Would I have the courage to tell Edward that I might leave Forks? What would happen if I decided to stay in Phoenix? I kept contemplating all the possibilities the entire time we were on the road. It was no surprise I felt mentally exhausted by the time Angela shook me by the shoulders, announcing that we were at the mountains already.

My impression of the mountains, rather than astonished, was familiar. It somehow reminded me of the meadow. The flora was quite vivid, with a grand variety of plants. I distinguished an extensive diversity of wildflowers, and trees like Black Cottonwood and Bigleaf Maple. I knew my limited acknowledgement wouldn't let me distinguish any other plant.

"There's the questionnaire you have to answer based on the plants you are supposed to look for. I'll be giving you two kits, one includes the first aid material and the other contains tubes and plastics for you to pick up and save parts of the plants to examine back at lab with the microscopes." the professor explained "Now, we are going to follow our guide. He's leading us to a part of the forest where we will be placing our tents."

I felt thankful my slow pace forced me to stay behind the group. That way no one would notice my lack of enthusiasm. Edward was walking next to me, showing no signs of impatience at my clumsy rhythm. His intention was clear. He had respected my decision, showing he'd wait for me to feel emotionally stable to open up.

He held my hand gently, forcing me to walk closer to him.

Not that I needed an excuse_._

Really_._

Ahead, I distinguished Tanya keeping her distance from the group. It was becoming quite obvious.

"If being around humans alters her so much, why did she come?" I asked Edward.

"She's leaving to Canada."

"Today?"

"Yes, she's waiting for everyone to get in their tents."

That was odd. Why bother to play an ordinary teen when her need for blood was so strong?

"What's wrong with her? I mean, why's she acting like a newly turned?"

"I'm not sure but Alice mentioned something about the development of a new skill."

"That means she'll have an _ability_, like you."

"I'm guessing it'd be like her sister's… mind-control, persuasion or something alike."

"Huh." I muttered, imagining all the possible ways she could persuade him.

The professor whistled to have the group's attention. "Guys, you got twenty minutes to set up the camp and prepare yourselves."

I saw delightedly how easily Edward set up the camp. He prepared the, unnecessary, sleeping bags and took a thick coat out of his bag, wrapping me with it.

"We'll be done in a couple of hours, right?" I asked.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd stay here."

"You don't want me to get in your graceful way?" I smiled, getting inside the tent.

"Not likely." he responded, following me "I just don't want you to get hurt."

I was trying my best to accept his over-protectiveness as the price to pay to have him near, so I remained silent, decided to avoid arguing since it was a moot point. And after what happened with Tanya, I was sure it was a matter of hours before his guilty conscience kicked in and forced him to act like Jake did.

Besides, after everything I've been through, I knew I wouldn't be safe even if he let me in an isolated continent.

"Is this an appropriate moment for you to tell me what's disturbing you?" he asked. I didn't answer, trying to hide my untold story in the heavy silence. But he proved me again he knew me better than I knew myself. "Is it Jacob?"

Apparently, my silence had shattered his patience.

"What makes you say that?"

"It's an assumption. You've been quite abstracted and sad today."

"I bet you're assumption is based on the way I smell." He nodded slowly, as if afraid of answering with honesty. There was no point trying to postpone this conversation; it'd be better if I tell him...just to know where _we_ stand "Jake and I are not together anymore. His guilty conscience convinced him that he's dangerous for me."

His powerful glance was upon me, as if trying to decipher my thoughts. And for once, I wished he could. I was afraid to think things through. I know I wouldn't like what I'd find.

"And that's hurting you because you're feeling blameful, wondering if you're acting correctly by letting him walk away after everything he did for you." he murmured to himself.

"Last time I checked, I was the only exception to your ability." I smiled.

"And you still are, love. But it's quite easy to puzzle out. You have the purest heart I've known." he said. Lowering his head, he sighed heavily, asking "You really love him, don't you?"

"Not as much as I love you." I confessed, gathering enough courage to look at him.

My favorite crooked smile appeared upon his face.

"I can't manifest properly what those words mean to me." he said "However, _I can try._"

He smiled, as his lips touched mine gently, hesitantly slow, making the pure taste of his sweet breath race up my heartbeat. His heavy breath made it harder for me to think coherently.

As I reached out for air, he kissed my earlobe, as if attempting to ease a deeper hunger.

"Guys, it's time!" shouted the professor, interrupting our moment abruptly.

We heard the professor's whistle, announcing it was time for them to leave. He raised his glance, showing how much he disliked the idea.

"Good thing you're staying here or else everyone would figure out why you're blushing so much." Edward whispered, kissing my cheek.

He brought my hand to his lips and walked away with a grin on his face.

Approximately twenty minutes later, I heard weak footsteps getting closer. I knew he couldn't be back yet; it'd be too obvious if he'd end up the project so quickly. Much for my surprise, dismay and irritation, Tanya walked inside the tent, looking at me with a hint of curiosity and amusement.

"Edward's not here."

"I know. It's you I wanted to talk to."

"We got nothing to talk about."

"I just wanted to apologize for what happened." she said. Her glance was helplessly hypnotic and her voice was tender but dangerous "I'm having trouble controlling myself whenever blood is near."

"I noticed."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "Of course you did."

I watched her standing to leave but instead, she turned around and asked "How was it like for you?"

"_Excuse me_?"

"Having a relationship with a vampire, I mean. Didn't it scare you at all?"

"Should it have?"

"I would have scared any normal human."

"Well, there goes your answer. My _abnormality_ keeps me from being scared."

"I didn't mean to offend you." she apologized. Gee… considering we were indirectly disputing for Edward, she was being bizarrely polite. "It's just that I'm trying to figure out what is it that attaches Edward so deeply to you."

"You should ask _him._"

"Actually, I wanted to ask _you._" she said, smiling "Just to let you know that I'm not letting him slip away from me that easily."

"_What_?" I chuckled with irony.

"There's no way a mere, ordinary, human like you can end up with one of us." she said "We both know you're not good enough for him."

Finally, her faked calm and politeness were shattering. The real part of her was scratching the surface. The thought of toying a little with her patience seemed _so_ appealing.

"Maybe you're right." I answered. "But what would happen if _I_ refuse to let him slip away?"

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into. I'm --" She closed her eyes, sniffing into the thick air, probably perceiving something my human senses couldn't. "If only you'd kept your thoughts to yourself…" she said, nodding in disapproval "You would have made me change my mind about your future."

"Now you're delusional."

"We'll see who's delusional..."she smiled "There's someone anxious to see you. I know you two have met before so you won't be _so_ surprised."

She didn't give me much time to prepare myself, nor to feel curious. But all the pieces fell into pieces as I saw with horror a, traumatically, familiar woman entering the tent.

Victoria.

Her appearance was as wild and careless as the last time I saw her and her black coal eyes stared at me with irony and an unmistakable thirst.

"My, my..."She smiled widely. "You don't look so confident without Edward by your side."

How _could I_ look confident having her so near?

The fact that she could leave me bloodless in mere seconds didn't help much.

I tried to keep my voice calmed though I was sure it wouldn't last long. "Edward is near. He'll notice your presence right away."

"Don't hold your breath." said Tanya "He isn't that close. Besides, the three of us will be far gone by the time he gets back."

"I don't have a single reason to join you."

"We are not seeking for your approval." Victoria answered, stepping forward.

Helpless, I saw her cold hands silencing my mouth, drowning my weak screams.

"Behave. Don't cause us too much trouble and we'll _try_ to do likewise." Tanya said, following Victoria, who dragged out of the tent.


	7. Winning A Battle, Losing The War

**EPOV**

Through my unending existence, I've been forced to presence countless incidents and circumstances that have altered the way I used to see everything. After years of following the pattern of physical and emotional distance with humans, I was convinced I wouldn't find someone that would accept my hateful, resented self. So I forced myself to ignore the part of me that agonized endlessly, wanting to experience human feelings that could make me forget, or at least ignore, what I was.

And then I met her. The one that would make me live after my death. Even when we attracted each other for the wrong reasons, I found myself incoherently wishing to talk to her, to know her…to love her. I was impressed by the fervent way her innocence had spelled me, the surreal way her immaculate lips had enchanted me, even when her blood had tempted me.

She was the reason I continued living sanely, she was the reason I struggled to show the better part of me.

"Guys, stay near. The rain makes it a little difficult to see straight." I heard the professor say.

I sighed, impatiently, noticing my phone was vibrating. Alice's voice was a pitch higher than usual. Knowing nothing good would come out of this, I got away from the group to speak freely.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"The dog's leader was here," she said "he said there was one of us in their territory a couple of hours ago."

"Was there any incidents?"

"No one got hurt. I didn't believe him since we're the only ones around but I panicked once he described her."

"_Her_? Was it Tanya?"

"I don't think so. His description matched Victoria's."

"But she was staying with Carmen and Irina, somewhere over the Cambridge Bay. There's no need for her to hunt so miles away from the Denali's."

"Jasper is checking to confirm if she's near or not." she said, but her nervousness made it clear she was keeping something from me. "Um...is Bella near you?"

"Not really. She's a few miles away." I said, knowing the reason behind that question could not be good. "Why?"

"Just to make sure she's safe."

"Alice," I unconsciously scolded, trying to control my voice. I know she was trying to make it sound completely unimportant and casual and yet it was so obvious she was desperate to share with me non-grata information. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. But we both know Bella is not the most fortunate person."

"I know but the fact that you are reminding me this at this very moment makes it obvious that you're keeping something from me."

"How could I?" she answered, somewhat offended. "I would never let Bella get hurt if I foresee it." She paused; leaving us in a meaningful silence as we both refused to say what was crossing our minds.

"I'll go check on Bella."

"Okay. I'll call you in a while."

Once she hung up, I tried my best to not give into my exasperating thoughts…at least, not yet. I had hoped, and incoherently wished, Bella could see me for whom I really am... a monster that longed for her pure blood, an egocentric creature that threaten her safety constantly. Someone that simply did not deserve her.

I glided through the forest silently, trying to notice anything unusual along the way. For a moment, I felt hopeful, thinking that Alice's hunch was just that…a hunch. Once close enough, I called after Bella, expecting a reply that never came. But I kept insisting until walking inside the tent, confirming she wasn't there and her scent was almost imperceptible.

Alice proved me she knew me better than I thought, and surely imagined I would have a breakdown soon, as my phone vibrated. I couldn't keep my temper under control this time.

"What did you really see, Alice?"

"_See_? What are you talking about?"

"It won't do any good to keep your visions from me."

"I told you I haven't had any. All I had was a hunch."

"Then how come your _hunch_ is so precise?" I snapped. "Bella is not here."

"Have you tried following her scent? Maybe she isn't that far."

"She isn't anywhere near." I sighed. "And her scent is barely lingering around...she must have leaved a while ago."

"Then let's change the strategy, look for footprints."

"The rain...her footprints have been washed away." I grit my teeth, walking nearby the tent, attempting to see something...anything. A few steps away, I spotted blood drops mixed with the almost frozen rain on a small puddle. I vaguely heard Alice calling out my name on the other line. "I can't...focus right now, Alice."

"What happened? Did you find something?"

I hesitated, trying to find my voice.

"Blood."

That was enough for her to share my apprehension. Her easiness turned into nervousness and determination.

"Wait for us. We're on our way there."

"Don't—"

She hung up on me before I could refute. Following her advice, I went out and sniffed deeply the thick, heavy, air. Her scent was there, stronger at certains directions and weaker at some others, but it was there...mixed with a strong one...one from _us._ The fact that I couldn't decipher who it was made it even harder for me to control what was left of my shattered calm. Apparently Alice hunch was father more than that. But it wasn't what she had said that was unnerving me...it was what she left unspoken.


	8. Make It Bleed

**BPOV**

_The sun's rays filtered poorly through the leaves of the gigantic trees. My hands went numb after all my futile tries to get rid of her cold claws; constants cramps had paralyzed my legs, making my body harder to move. She'd been running for over an hour, carrying me carelessly over her shoulder to God knows where. In the constant blurriness, the only thing that remained the same before me was Tanya's serene but guilty face._

_Victoria stopped abruptly, making me sicker once everything around me seemed to stop spinning. Helpless, I saw how she placed my tense body on the ground, as her eyes shifted lightly from golden to black. I immediately recognized that reaction. It was the same way Tanya reacted once my wounds started bleeding._

"_Why did you stop?" asked Tanya from afar._

"_There's something that's tempting me…" she responded, smiling at me as her teeth became visible._

_And I watched her getting closer, taking my wrist to her nose, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes, as if premeditating her next move. Slowly, awfully slowly, I felt her teeth opening tiny but lethal wounds all over my wrist. Then everything became confusing and distant; I could feel how easily my strength was fading away with every drop of blood she was taking from me._

"_Don't!" Tanya shouted, gliding her way to us._

_But Victoria's thirst seemed to control all of her senses. _

_Why would Tanya try to stop her? Isn't it way better for her if I'm out of the picture? After all, she was Victoria's accomplice…_

_An involuntary scream escaped from me once Victoria's teeth penetrated deeper my skin, desperately seeking for more blood. Then I saw Tanya's body pushing hardly Victoria's, making her move away from me. Surprisingly, Tanya stood before me, growling and extending her arms in a protective way as Victoria rushed forward, producing a deafly sound once their bodies fell on the ground. _

_Tanya held Victoria's arms, making her shake her head in exasperation. _

_I heard Tanya saying "Not yet."_

_I couldn't tell if I was sleep or awake…but a voice from afar was clearing the doubt for me._

"Maldición. Ha perdido mucha sangre."

Incoherent murmurs.

"In my defense, I haven't even touched her. This is all Victoria's doing."

A familiar voice.

"Tan solo te digo…no me haré responsable de nada de esto una vez llegue Edward"

A memory. _Edward_.

I jerked my eyes open, staring attentively the room I was in. It was spacious, painted in white, decorated with thin curtains that adorned the wide windows that allowed me to see how far we were from civilization since the only thing I'd see were trees and plants half covered by snow.

Hesitant, I looked at my body; bruises were all over my legs and minor cuts had wounded my, already, injured arms. I guess this means Tanya had the decency of sucking Victoria's venom out of my system.

Trying to stand quickly, to attempt a glorious runaway, I helplessly felt my body losing balance, collapsing on the ground.

"Why so desperate?" asked Victoria, smiling at me from the hallway.

A strong, heatless, grip lifted me back to the bed. Turning my head, I saw an unknown face whose features were, predictably, uncommon. Her eyes were drown in thirst, reflected on the black irises, her skin, her coldness…everything confirmed she was one of _them_.

"How are you feeling, Isabella?" she asked. I recognized her voice immediately; she was the one talking in another language seconds ago.

"How…how do—" I weakly stuttered, unable to speak clearly.

My tongue was heavier and my voice lost somewhere within. Doubtlessly, whatever might have happened while I was unconscious was starting to show off its consequence.

"Ah, you're worrying too much, Carmen" Victoria said.

"Am I really? You practically drown her out"

"Calm down" said Tanya, unconcerned "Just make sure she's not bleeding"

And she walked away, quickly followed by Victoria.

Carmen had the gentle gesture of comforting my lifeless body on the bed, placing my head onto a pillow and covering me with a blanket.

"Why—are you doing this?" I murmured.

"Your body should stay warm to recover its normal temperature"

"That's not what I meant" I said, trying to gather enough strength to speak "Not that I don't appreciate it but why are you bothering to keep me alive? Isn't it easier to just drink me up?"

"Not really" she answered, smiling "Unlike my sister Tanya, I do have a conscience and I like to keep it clean."

"Lucky me" I replied, returning her smile.

I had considered the possibility of surviving for a few more hours until Edward, somehow, found me but my expectations were shattered once I distinguished Victoria's voice from the hallway.

"Can you remind me again why you want her _alive_?" she asked.

"I don't want to end her life. After all, she had done nothing wrong."

"Aw, isn't that _touching_." mocked Victoria. I could picture her ironic smile "Then what are you suggesting? And considering all we've been through…you better come up with something good."

"I was thinking something like toying with her mind so all of the Cullen's memories would fade away."

"That's not the kind of revenge I had in mind."

"You said that, more than kill her, you want him to suffer. Believe me, this will do."

"I thought you didn't want _him_ to suffer."

"I _don't_. But it'd be a good opportunity to show him the way I feel by staying by his side."

"This doesn't make any sense…why did you need me then? You could've erased her memories in the tent."

"No, it'd have been too obvious" Tanya answered "I know they're thinking that _you_ are the one behind this…besides, I'm not sure I can control this ability. It could turn out the wrong way"

"Well…you can try and if it doesn't work, it'll be done my way."

How dignifying. I'd be their little lab rat.

Though it should have terrified me to know that I wouldn't remember any of the moments I've shared with Edward, the thought of his soothing voice made me calm, as if reminding me he'd be here in time…though I didn't have much left.

Pretending to remain calmed, I looked at Carmen, expecting to hear something comforting but she looked away guiltily, as if letting me know there was nothing she could do to stop the her sister.

I saw them entering the room; Victoria's face was radiant with joy but Tanya's showed perfectly her inner struggle.

"There's someone approaching" said Carmen, looking through the window.

"You're paranoid." replied Victoria

"No. She's right." Tanya said "Someone's near."

"Well then, hurry up so we can leave" said Victoria

"It won't work." I said "He'll find a way to grant me these memories back."

"We both know he's quite predictable. I'm sure he'll take this opportunity to stay away from you, in a pathetic attempt to keep you safe" said Tanya, proving she had it all planed. And turning a little more serious, added "Don't worry now; you'll be unconscious most of the time."

Carefully, her hand touched my forehead but I knew it was her gaze that was changing me. It wasn't how I expected though.

I saw all my significant moments and memories pass before my eyes quickly, vanishing, making me feel detached from reality, as gloom and emptiness invaded me. It was an odd sensation; everything I remembered became surreal and unrecognizable but then a numbing pain paralyzed me. A sudden tiredness took away the little strength I had, making me fall as my eyelids close involuntarily, surrendering to such unusual lassitude.

Still, I heard someone saying "He's here"

*****************************************************************************************************************

**AN**: Hey guys! So...to clear possible doubts, I know Bella is capable of shielding herself from most of the abilities. However, in the books she's only affected powers that are not dangerous for her [like Jasper's and Alice's] so I wanted to twist it a little and see what would happen if her shielding fails. Hope y'all liked it :)


	9. Doomed Love

**AN**: Hey guys! I wanted to vary a little so I did this short chapter from Tanya's Point Of View. Thanks to all who took the time to review, means a lot and it is truly what keeps me writing :)

**TPOV**

"Tanya, we need to leave. _Now_" hissed Victoria.

"There's no time left" replied Carmen, staring through the window.

Within seconds, we saw Edward shattering the wide crystal and landing softly on the floor. I wasn't surprised he'd come alone, since it was nearly impossible to keep up with his pace, but I was sure the rest of them would be here soon.

He ignored us, something I didn't expect, looking specifically for _her_.

"Bella?" he whispered, kneeling to carry her. Carmen stepped backwards, probably imagining his reaction once he'd notice what we've done and boy, he did notice. _Immediately_ . An instant flame of anger sparkled on his eyes as he asked "You-you _fed_ from her?"

_I didn't intent on----_ I tried explaining inwardly but he caught me off.

"How could you?"

His glance was staring fiercely at all of my movements, in constant expectation of answers…answers I couldn't provide.

Victoria stood next to me once we heard him growling but I knew that, more than an enraged or a threatening growl, it was a sorrowful one, as if trying to get rid of the sudden impotence that seeing his beloved made him feel.

"Looks like he didn't come alone after all" Victoria muttered, gliding her way to the forest ahead.

In the distance, I distinguished Emmett smiling ironically, waiting for Victoria.

"The rest are on their way" said Carmen "Can't you hear them?"

"Yes" I answered, focusing on the approaching footsteps.

"We should get going"

"But Edward already sa—"

"It doesn't matter. He's occupied with Isabella" she said. I jerked my head just to see him accomodating Isabella's lifeless body on the bed. "We need to get out of here"

She grabbed my wrist and glided our way out of the house, and still, I could heard him growl deafly loud, as if letting me know that this nightmare wasn't over.

I knew there were no words that could justify the atrocity I made and the pain I deliberately put him through and yet I had hoped he could see right through me, that he'd see how long I've been waiting for him to come around and realize that she wasn't worthy of all the trouble she caused.

As impossible as it might be to believe, I didn't plan on hurting her. I just wanted a fresh start for all of us…as if she'd never existed.

I stopped involuntarily, seeing Alice and Jasper approaching with great velocity.

"Tanya, you shouldn't stop" I absently heard Carmen say, standing next to me "Eleazar will be here soon and you know he won't hesitate to tell the Volturi about this"

"He wouldn't betray me"

"Still…don't make him choose"

I sighed. "What about Victoria?"

"She knew she wouldn't have a chance against Emmett but she faced him anyways" she said severely "I don't think risking ourselves to save hers is such a good idea. So, are you coming or not?"

She glided her way in the opposite direction with a, relative, slow pace, probably waiting for me to join her. So, I ran cowardly, leaving behind a mess that I was too scared to face and too ashamed to admit, just to live a couple of borrowed hours before we'd met again.


	10. We Might As Well Be Strangers

**EPOV**

I was completely absent of my surroundings since the only one that could provide meaning to life again, and pull me out of misery, was lying half alive on a bed. I could feel her pain with each pump of blood her heart sent through her veins, agonizingly slowly, as her breath became heavier and raspy.

"I just called Carlisle. He'll be waiting for us at home." Alice said, jumping through the broken window. I could feel her glance full of concerned upon me as she walked closer and caressed Bella's forehead. "She'll be fine."

Or so we wanted to believe. I didn't have the courage to think otherwise.

"How could I let this happen?" I muttered, asphyxiated by guilt.

"Edward." she scolded "This isn't your fault and now is not the time to grieve. We need to go back to Forks right away."

Although I knew she was showing this false façade to make me come to my senses, I admired how firm, and unbreakable, her voice sounded, wishing I could, at least, pretend to be as strong for Bella's sake.

"Have you had any visions?"

"No." she responded, deep in thought. "I can't _see_ her anymore."

Ending with her trance abruptly, she looked at me, as if expecting me to snap after listening to her, unintentionally honest, response.

And I _was_ about to snap, to protest and claim a faster way that could guarantee me that she _would_ be alright, to try to find something that could help us to get her back right away, something that could assure me I wouldn't lose her but I remained silent, limiting myself to carry her petite and defenseless body on my arms, ready to glide our way back home.

Taking a quick look around, I distinguished Jasper and Emmett ending with what was left of Victoria.

Good. I'd personally face Tanya.

"Here...let's keep her warm" Alice said, taking off her jacket and wrapping Bella with it. "Ready to go?"

I nodded as she glided away but my attention was just on Bella. I heard her breathing becoming eased as I, cautiously, lifted my hand to trace her cheekbones and leaned in, kissing her lips briefly as her sweet taste lingered on my mouth, increasing my desperate need of her. I knew I was supposed to be strong for her, for us, but seeing my Bella constantly hurt because of me was corroding me gently to the core. It was slowly demolishing my hopes of being with her. How naïve of me to even consider it. How selfish to ignore the life she would've preserved in my absence.

Suddenly, I perceived something…someone moving at a stunning velocity ahead. Doubtlessly, it was one of _us _but Alice had noticed this before me, since she called inwardly after me.

_Let her go…for now_. She thought.

I frowned, wondering what she had meant. Curious, I got closer as the silhouette became clearer.

Tanya.

Letting her go was the last thing I intended.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed, trying to get my attention but I couldn't bring myself to care about the warnings she'd say. My rage had a target now.

I glided faster.

"Not now," Alice said, getting in my way "Bella needs us."

I lowered my sight, looking at my defenseless angel, and agreed, taking the opposite path to avoid the tempting idea of letting my rage dominate me.

It took us almost an hour to get back home; Carlisle was waiting patiently for us in the living room. I immediately distinguished his medical tools and the thick attractive smell of the blood bags. Esme quickly took Bella from my arms and placed her on the couch as Carlisle prepared the intravenous lines for the transfusion.

Even though no one dared to speak to avoid trigging my nerves, their thoughts were slowly breaking me down.

_She'd lost too much blood. It's a miracle her heart is still beating._

_She's in a very delicate state, even if the transfusion works it'd take her a while to recover._

_How could her body survive with so little blood?_

"She'll be alright." I said, ending with their train of thoughts abruptly. They looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. "She just…she'll be fine."

"She will." assured Esme, caressing Bella's arm.

I watched attentively the IV as the blood ran tortuously slow. A soft moan escaped from her sealed lips as her body began to tense up, making me embrace the false hope that she'd wake up right away. Kneeling, I took her hand on mine, noticing how, relatively, cold her skin was.

"How long will it take for her to come around?" I asked, hoping Alice could see something…anything.

"I'm sure she'll wake up soon." Carlisle responded. "The transfusion will give her the energy she's missing."

Just then, the front door opened as Emmett came in, followed by Rosalie and Jasper, who stood near the door as soon as the smell of blood tempted him. Rosalie's eyes focused on Bella's body, surprising me with her reaction.

"Emmett said they already took care of Victoria." she said, walking closer "So, where's Tanya?"

"We need to hear her explanation before rushing into anything." Carlisle said, sticking Bella's IVs to another bag of blood.

"I don't think anything she'd come up with could justify this." Rosalie responded "We need to tell the Volturi."

"C'mon, Rose. There's no need to get to the extremes. We can handle her." Emmett said. "Besides, I'm sure Edward wouldn't agree."

"Edward?" asked Rosalie, looking at me.

"I can't do this right now," I growled "Bella is all that matters to me. Tanya, and everything else, can wait."

"Guys," Alice whispered "She's waking up."

Getting closer to the couch, I saw Bella's eyes wandering around the room, bewildered, staring at each one of us. She seemed different, there was something missing in her glance…I couldn't see her contagious excitement anymore.

"Bella?" I asked "How are you feeling, love?"

She frowned at me, confused, and then looked down at her IV.

"I know you hate needles," said Carlisle "But you needed a transfusion. Don't worry though; I'll remove it as soon as you get better."

"Who did this to you, Bella?" demanded Rosalie. "Was it Tanya?"

"Rose, let her---" Emmett was caught off by Bella's soft voice.

"Who are you?" she asked innocently "And why are you calling me Bella?"

She stared intrigued at our entwined hands and then looked up at me, expecting me to answer.


	11. Fall For You

**BPOV**

It is said that every once in a while we all need a fresh start in our lives…to pretend the scars of the past aren't as significant as we once thought, to have a reason to feel optimistic about the uncertainties the future holds for us.

Well, looks like fate has granted me the opportunity to literally replace my scars and memories with new, unblemished, ones.

I looked at the unknown faces that stared at me expectantly. I wanted to understand their insistence on my well-being but concentration was out of my reach as soon as I caught a glimpse of a sparkling pair of golden, hypnotizing, eyes. And though everyone else, _oddly_, had the same unusual eye color, there was something on his that I couldn't put my finger on…something about his persona that was so catchy, so intriguing, so familiar.

His skin seemed soft and pale and his features were unusual and yet so perfect.

Realizing I've been staring at him for too long, and ashamed for being so obvious, I lowered my gaze just to find his hand resting on mine. Involuntarily, my eyes searched for his again, desperate to interpret the strange, but endearing, sensation he was making me feel.

"You…don't know who we are?" he frowned.

His voice was a mere whisper, smooth and velvet, that hypnotized me as easily as his eyes.

I shyly nodded no, fearing to speak and shatter the little bubble he had trapped me in.

"You don't remember any of us?" asked a small girl.

I nodded no again.

"Sorry" I said sympathetically.

"Do you know who _you_ are?" insisted the small girl.

"Not really…" I muttered, feeling somewhat intimidated.

"There's no doubt now. This _was_ Tanya's doing." an outrageously beautiful blond said.

"So, what are we waiting for? Let's go after her." exclaimed a strong guy, stepping behind the blond.

"Wait," intervener the small girl "we need to fill Bella in. She needs to know what happened."

"I'll do it." the bronze haired boy said "Just…find Tanya. We need to revert this."

"We'll take separated paths and call you as soon as we find her." said a young blond guy, who looked as if he was about to have a nervous breakdown by my very presence since he couldn't unglue his prying eyes from me.

The small girl walked gracefully toward the door followed by everyone else but the doctor and, who appeared to be, his wife. They all moved ever so smoothly, so unusual, leaving in a confusing and blurry blink.

"How did they do that?" I asked but no one answered "What's going on? Why can't I remember anything?"

Silence enhanced, as all of our glances fell upon the bronze haired Adonis.

"Maybe if she sees something that had a great significance to her, her memories might be triggered." said the tender wife.

"Would you…like to go for a walk?" the young Adonis asked me "I promise I'll tell you everything."

The promise of taking _a walk_ didn't sound so compromising but I agreed nonetheless.

"Alright but I want you to come back home if you start feeling dizzy or weak, okay?" said the doctor, removing my IV gently and helping me stand on my feet.

I thanked him, excusing myself and leaving abruptly, desperate to understand what I was missing in such unwanted ignorance.

A full moon lighted up our path and a chilly wind moved the leaves of the trees that surrounded us, making me shiver and, involuntarily, fold my arms. Noticing this, he had the kind gesture of placing his thick coat gently over my shoulders.

"Won't you get cold?" I asked, noticing he was wearing nothing more than a white shirtsleeves. His flawless musculature imposed itself perfectly.

"It's okay." he said. His skin seemed paler at the dim moonlight and his eyes seemed darker. The spark I noticed earlier was gone. But in spite all the physical changes I noticed, it was his sudden change of attitude that worried me. He seemed molested and, daresay, frustrated.

I felt, somewhat, offended thinking that he might be mad for having to help me remember the life I've left behind.

"Is something bugging you?" I dared to ask to get the weight of doubt off my chest.

He seemed caught off guard by my reaction.

"You've always been a great observer…quite aware of the little details" he muttered to himself, smiling sadly. "I'm just wondering how to start telling you everything. I got so much to share with you and yet I don't know where, or how, to start"

"I think it'd be easier if I ask you."

"Alright," he said "What would you like to know first?"

"Yo---our names." I said, looking away. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer.

I heard him chuckle.

"I'm Edward Cullen." he said "And you are Isabella Swan…you liked to be called Bella."

His voice was charged with obvious affection so I guess it'd be proper to ask what he meant to me.

"And I assume we're friends...right?"

He hesitated. Little I knew his answer would change the way I'd see him.

"Actually, we're more than friends." he grinned.

"Oh," was all I could mutter. "You mean we're…together?"

I just _had_ to ask the obvious.

He nodded slowly "I know it sounds strange coming from someone you don't know."

I flashed a quick smile, trying to mask my surprise.

We stopped at the entrance of a deep forest, as he outstretched his hand toward me. And, as if wanting to desperately change the subject, he said "The path may be wet so we'll have to slow our pace a little"

I nodded, holding his hand and letting him guide me through a partially broken, wet, wood bridge. His coldness made me shiver.

Decided to satiate my doubts with a topic less awkward, I asked "Back at the house…was that your family or mine?"

"Mine…well, _ours._" he answered, giving me the impression our relationship was serious.

"And where are my parents?"

"Your mother lives in Phoenix." he said "You live here in Forks with your father."

We reached a darker path, where the trees were so big the moon was barely noticeable. I sniffed his jacket almost unnoticeably, feeling fascinated at his dulcet aroma, wrapping myself tighter with it. A comfortable silence invaded us and my thoughts revolved around him: his gestures, his voice, his words...everything about him was, vaguely, recognizable.

Within minutes, we were on a wide field. A short and vividly greenish grass moved along the breeze softly and the tranquilizer sound of a nearby river wrapped me in an overwhelming familiar sensation.

I wandered around a little, trying to get adjusted to the place and hoping it'd make me remember something…anything.

"Does it look familiar?" he asked.

"It does…in some confusing way."

"This is our meadow. We came here whenever we wanted sometime for ourselves."

We heard someone approaching slowly, walking out of the shadows.

"Bella?" a male, deep, voice said from behind.

Turning around, I saw a shirtless, barefoot, guy smiling at me. His hair was black and short and his body was strong and well-defined. He was wearing nothing more than a torn jean.

"Who is he?" I asked Edward.

"It's true then..." he muttered, walking slowly toward me "I'm Jacob Black, your boyfriend."

I looked at Edward, confused. His jaw became tight and his face serious, staring fiercely at this Jacob guy.

"_Ex_-boyfriend" Edward corrected.

"Yeah whatever," Jacob waved, clearly bugged by Edward's words "I still can't believe I was naïve enough to give her up for _this_"

"What do you want, Jacob?" Edward asked, stepping closer to me.

"Right now? To give you a piece of my mind." he said "But I don't want Bella to have the wrong impression and jump to the conclusion that I'm the bad guy here."

"How did you find out?" Edward asked, irritated.

"Your pixie sister just ran into Sam a few miles ahead." Jacob replied "We agreed on helping but I considered stopping by to make your life more miserable than it already is. I'm not sure if that's possible, though."

"So, you guys know each other?" I asked in a lame attempt to be included in the conversation. What I really wanted to know was the reason Jacob was being so mean to Edward but I decided to ask later, hoping their conversation would reveal the reason by itself.

"Unfortunately." Jacob responded and facing Edward, he added "So, did you tell her what a freak you are?"

"It's not like you can talk." Edward replied dryly.

"Well, at least I'm _human._" he said "But you're a whole new level of freakness."

"What is he talking about?" I asked, jerking my head to look at Edward.

"Oh, so you haven't told her. _My bad._" Jacob smiled, backing up his sarcasm "Don't worry Bells, I'll take you home."

Edward didn't respond but I could swear I heard him…_growling_?

"No. I'm…" I trailed off as my voice became shaky "I'm staying with Edward."

Jacob stared at me with a hurt expression upon his face but seriously, did he expect me to leave with him just because he claims to be my ex-boyfriend? 'Cause I'm pretty sure there's a good reason why he earned the prefix _ex_.

"But you don't even know him."

"I don't know you either."

"Looks like your emotions weren't affected by this whole amnesia-thing." he shook his head, as if my statement had a double meaning for him.

There was a moment of tension and silence as he stared scornfully at Edward.

"Maybe." Edward suddenly said…but no one had asked anything. "But if this _is_ a mistake, if she's going to reject me…I want to hear it from _her._"

What---?

"Oh I'm sure you'll hear that, and a lot more, from her once you tell her all about you and your big secret. So, go ahead...tell her how she got amnesia. Tell her what all of those little scars on her wrist mean." Jacob said as my right hand automatically caressed the scars on my left one. Scars I didn't even know I had. "I'll be the one to pick up the pieces. _Again_."

"That's it." I said "I need some serious explaining right now."

"He'll do it. He'll tell you _everything._" Jacob said, as his eyes stared at me with a mix of affection and gloom. Turning to Edward, he added. "I'll just get going to clean up your mess and get rid of that bloodsucker. We'll solve this later. Think you could handle it and keep her safe until I get back?"

"As if safety is possible when you're near." Edward said. "And just for the record, she won't stay amnesiac. I _will_ regress this."

"O_f course_ you will. 'Cause that Tanya leech will help you out _just_ because you'd ask her to?"

"I don't think she'll have much of a choice."

Jacob scoffed, walking away.

"I'm going to find her to prove you that the only one that's a threat for Bells is _you._"

And with that, he quickly disappeared into the forest. I waited until his footsteps became barely audible to turn and face Edward. He seemed painfully absent, as if ashamed for being so exposed by Jacob's comments.

"And here I thought my life wasn't out of the ordinary." I murmured. "I got so many questions that now I'm the one that doesn't know where to start."

"I'm sorry. He was quite rude."

"Yeah, to you."

He shook his head with such severe look upon his face. "He should have been more gentile with you and not speak so recklessly."

"So, is it okay for me to know what he meant?" I asked "What's your _big secret_?"

I expected a precise answer but instead, he walked away to sit by the river, letting his back rest on a tree. I sat across from him.

"You'd have been better off leaving with him." he said with obvious grief, ever so lowly, making me wonder if this was an act of my tired imagination. "This is hard to tell. The first time you puzzled it out…now I'm thinking how I should explain it all without frightening you" he trailed off, as a sorrowful tone on his voice replaced his velvet one.

"You won't scare me." I said. After all...it couldn't be so terrifying if I have already found out about it and accepted it.

His lips spread a little, forming a bitter smile. He kept silence, letting the soft sound of the river take away my unnerving impatience.

"My humanity ended a long time ago…forcing me to embrace immortality against my will." I nodded, encouraging him to continue and ignoring my logic, trying my best to not panic _yet_. I could tell he was being quite cautious with the way he wanted to express himself, so I guess my approval would be important for him. "Ever since then, I've wandered in this world as a mythical creature."

A mythical creature…well, that wasn't as scary as I expected.

"Mythical…as a legendary creature with epic abilities and stuff?" I asked, skeptic.

"No, quite the opposite." he admitted, lowering his head "Mythical as…a _vampire._"

I tensed up a little and he seemed to mirror me. It was clear the great significance my reaction had for him but I couldn't bring myself to say anything coherent. The unusual things I've presence in this little time we've spent together made sense…somehow. I knew there were a couple of characteristics about him and his family that were not normal…like the fact that all of them had the same eye color, the same porcelain-like skin, the same graceful pace and the cold body temperature.

So, _that_ was the reason for all of his inconstant moods, the reason he'd show himself so affectionate in a moment and so distant in the next one, the reason he seemed drown in an inner struggle. He was being careful…to avoid telling me?

"Bella?" he whispered. I saw the fear on his suffered glance "I know it's the last thing you'd have expected to hear. If you'd like to return home, please tell me so. I promise to get you somewhere safe, far away from my kind…far away from me."

I fought the impulse of running away, the impulse of blurting out my doubts and my skepticism. Even with the obvious threat he represented, I still felt, inexplicably, intrigued and attracted to him.

_Great_. Not only I lost my memory but also lost my mind. Why would I feel safe being with a vampire?

But the fact that he hasn't hurt me clarified all of my possible fears.

"You are all I know now. That makes you home."

He smiled, dropping his head. "I guess that means you're not shocked. Or afraid."

"Well, I _am _shocked but not afraid. I mean, if you wanted to hurt me, you'd have done it a while ago instead of helping me reminiscence what my life was like." I responded "Besides, you said we are a couple so I'm sure we worked things out."

He sighed heavily. It was obvious my comment didn't have a positive effect on him.

"You've unconsciously taken the same choice." he said.

His voice sounded cold and distant, making me wonder how much Jacob's presence had affected him.

"Is that bad?"

"Partially."

"So…Jacob was right?"

He nodded, chuckling with irony and a palpable melancholy.

"I don't have what it takes to stay away from you and a part of me was, desperately, hoping he _would_ be right…that you would be disgusted, or even afraid, with what I am and you'd decide to stay away."

"But...you're not dangerous."

He looked at me shyly, as if wanting to hold onto my words. "How can you tell?"

"Because if you were…you wouldn't be telling me this, you wouldn't be so selfless to ask me to stay away."

"Our worlds are quite different." he said, trying to continue his persuasion. But I wasn't changing my mind.

"Well, that didn't stop me before." I teased, trying to ease his serious mood.

It worked.

He looked at me, suppressing a smile. "You're unbelievable."

I laughed.

"I'm sure I'll get used to the idea."

"That's what I wanted to avoid."

"It can't be _that_ bad." I replied, content that we felt a little more comfortable with each other. And, trying to avoid the _v_ word, I asked "So, how long have you been immortal?"

"For a century or so." he said casually.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, trying to hide my perplexity. "Looks like I had a thing for older men."

"That's an understatement." he laughed.

"The things you must have seen…" I trailed off, knowing the thought was too much too conceive.

"Became meaningless once I met you." he said serenely.

I stared at him for a moment, as his hair moved along the wind. The first buttons of his shirtsleeves were undone, letting his paper-white skin sparkle with the moonlight, giving the impression that tiny diamonds were affixed under his skin.

My cheeks turned red crimson as I looked away.

"So, did we meet in a blood bank or something?" I snickered, embarrassed for my uncontrollable blushing.

"Not likely." he smiled "We met at school. You had this innocent, disconcert, look upon your face…and I was immediately attracted to you for all the wrong reasons."

"Really? How come?"

"Well, you conquered the human and the animal within me. I noticed an unusual purity in your eyes the first time you look at me, the curious way your eyes questioned mine. And, of course, the sweet smell of your blood caught my instinct's attention immediately."

I winced lightly at the mention of blood.

"And how did you manage to get so close to me without hurting me?"

"I guess love overcame temptation. Though I had to put some physical boundaries between us to make sure you'd be safe since we always seemed to get _carried away._"

"Oh God." I choked, ashamed.

He laughed, enjoying a bit too much my discomfort as his skin shone a little brighter with the moonlight. This was the perfect timing to change subject.

"Your skin…" I muttered, pointing out his bare, twinkling, chest. "Why is it different than mine? Besides the obvious, I mean."

"Because, once we are turned, our skin mutate and become completely hard, which makes us invulnerable."

"Can I…?" I asked, moving my hand toward him but stopping inches away.

He nodded. "I'll stay still."

I gulped, feeling my pulse racing up as I moved closer.

His skin was as soft as it seemed, and as cold-dead as I'd expected and yet it made me feel my blood was boiling. I lifted my hands slowly to touch his face, letting my fingers trace down his features. He closed his eyes, smiling a little, and I stroke lightly his cheekbones, excited with the different temperatures of our bodies.

Slowly, my fingertips traced his jaw, down to his neck, stopping at his heart side. I opened my palm, fondling his skin gently.

"No heartbeat?" I whispered.

With his eyes still closed, he nodded no lightly. "I don't need it anyways. You've kept me alive by taking its place"

I smiled and set my head on his hard but soft chest, where his heart was supposed to be, easing down with each rise and fall of his controlled breathing. He took my hand on his, squeezing it gently.

And that very moment felt different and pleasant, making me feel, curiously, complete. I knew there were many doubts that remained unanswered, the maybe I shouldn't felt so comfortable and free around him but it was inevitable, as if my forgotten emotions were taking over my logic.

**************************************************************************************************************************************

**AN**: Phew! This chapter gave me some major writer's block. I know there's a bunch of explanations that I didn't include but I just didn't want to rush it all ;)


	12. Strange & Beautiful

**EPOV**

Silence echoed her eased heartbeat and a soft wind coming from the west moved her long silky hair, making her body curl closer to mine. Gently, I wrapped her with my coat to grant her the warmth my body couldn't.

I leaned in, planting a tender kiss on her neck, wishing we could ignore the warnings fate was quietly screaming at us, wishing our future wouldn't be as predictable and threatening as our past.

She opened her eyes slowly, leaning backwards to look at me. Her welcoming glance reminded me I was exactly where I needed, and wished for so long, to be.

"Hey" she blushed, looking away.

I heard her little heart skip a beat.

"Good morning, love."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"For about six hours. It's almost midday" I said, knowing she had barely rest since she fell asleep at the growing light of dawn.

Shyly, she examined my skin and frowned in confusion. "You look..."

"Shiny?"

"I was going to say different but I guess shiny would do" she laughed gleefully "You didn't glow _this much_ under the moonlight"

She touched me delightedly, with a slowness that showed how vulnerable she felt of a possible, but ever so irrational, rejection from me.

"I still can't believe you're not scared of me" I confessed "…Of all of this"

"The only thing that's scaring me is the way I feel around you"

"And why's that exactly?" I asked, entwining our hands. She cuddled herself back to my chest, as her hair fell all over her face, giving her some privacy from my intruding eyes.

"Because…" she paused. I could feel her cheeks heating up on my skin. "I think it's too sudden to feel so cozy around you…I mean, we barely know each oth-, well, _I_ barely know _you_ and yet I feel so, reasonless, comfy around you"

Hesitant, I took away her hair away and kissed her forehead, as my lips involuntarily seek for her warmth and brushed lightly her nose. She looked up, her breathing becoming raspy. My senses became harmonized with her heartbeat, making my body revive slowly with each pump.

And, backing up her words, she offered me a benign smile and dropped her head quickly.

"Maybe there's a part of you that remembers me." I whispered, kissing her earlobe. Her body reacted with an immediate goose bump as her heart refused to slow down.

Inevitably, my lips made their way back to her neck, kissing her gently until reaching her clavicle.

"You're teasing me." she smiled, closing her eyes, letting her tiny hands get lost in my wild hair and bringing me closer to her neck.

I chuckled.

"I was about to say the same thing."

She snickered, opening her eyes as her glance contagious the flame of life into mine.

"_And_ you're affecting my will-power." she admitted, caressing the back of my neck.

"Good," I smiled "I've helplessly given up mine."

She returned the smile and embraced me. I buried my face on her shoulder, inhaling deeply her scent. We stayed in a meaningful silence, enjoying our wordless conversation. Her innocence had drown the bitter emotions that attempted to grow within me, delaying the moment when I'd have to face reality and resign myself to let her go, making me hope for an alternate way to escape fate.

A while later, we were on our way back home so my paranoia concerning her health would diminish. Esme was the first one to receive us, staring at Bella in a motherly way, showing her excitement for having her new daughter around again.

"It's great to have you back, dear." she said, hugging Bella.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

"How have you felt, Bella?" asked Carlisle, walking toward us with his medical kit.

She looked at me and smiled.

"It'd be unfair to complain."

"No dizziness?" Carlisle insisted. His face was serious, denoting preoccupation. Bella shook her head. "That's good to know. Still, I'd like you to take rest a little today."

She nodded shyly as Esme offered to prepare her something to eat and grant her some privacy for her human necessities. Once they were out of the living room, I immediately asked Carlisle what he was keeping from me.

"Charlie was here a couple of hours ago."

Straight to the point.

"He was?"

"Yes. He knows about Bella's amnesia"

"How? Who told him?"

"We don't know yet." he replied "He's very preoccupied…and a little skeptic about us all. I managed to convince him that you'd take her to his place as soon as you guys came back."

"I don't understand" I sighed "How did he find out? The only thing he was supposed to know was Bella's disappearance back at the forest. We're the only ones that…" I trailed off, remembering that Jacob's tribe knew as well.

"There's something else. Alice called, saying that they've crossed paths with Carmen" he said "Apparently, she'll join the Volturi and wants to talk to you to smooth things over before leaving"

"I'm not leaving Bella on her own. Not until they find Tanya." I said "Did they see her when they found Carmen?"

"No, she was alone."

I nodded, looking down, being quiet for a moment. Decided to ease my exasperating thoughts, I managed to speak up the worry of something I've been trying to postpone.

My voice shattered the silence of the room.

"Is it…selfish of me to think of turning her? To want her to be with me, even if it means she'll live this curse?"

He stared at me with affection, as if understanding my dilemma.

"Most of us stay in denial of what we are because we lack of a reason to see our lives as a blessing instead of a curse," he said "And you've found your reason in her…just like she'll find hers in you."

"And still, I feel guilty by simply considering it."

"It's okay. You understand what she's too young to comprehend...what she'd give up." he said "But this is her choice too."

"I'm so afraid that she'll regret it once she's turned…that my love for her won't be enough to counteract the sacrifice she'll be doing."

"But she _wants_ to be turned, proving you that it'd be anything but a sacrifice for her." he said "See it as her willing proof of the pure love you both share."

We heard her footsteps as she walked down the stairs. I turned my head to see her fully changed into Rosalie's clothes, which hung loose but still gave a clear impression of her body. Her hair was wet and a little curly, standing out her gaze and her flushed cheeks.

"Alice's clothes wouldn't fit" Esme said, smiling.

"I hope Rosalie won't mind" Bella said.

"I'm sure she won't, dear"

"Bella" said Carlisle, walking closer with an apologetic smile for interrupting "Edward is going to take you to Charlie's place, your father. He is worried about you and wants to see you right away."

She nodded, thanking both Esme and Carlisle as we walked to the door. Once in the car, she stared absently through the window, making me feel edgy for knowing her thoughts. She seemed calmed, as if reflective doubts were slowly pouring down but still not altering her.

"You okay?" I asked, hesitating before taking her hand. She turned her head to smile at me.

"Yeah…just a little overwhelmed."

"Do I smell fear?" I mocked.

"No such luck." she shook her head with the smile still.

She was so relaxed, trying her best to ignore the load of emotions and surreal truths I'd have to confess later on, enjoying each moment as if the past and the future shared the same unknown direction, feeling free by just having the present.

A couple of minutes later, we were taking cover from the rain in the porch, waiting tensely for Charlie to come to the door.

"Thank God." he sighed as soon as the door cracked open. He barely hugged her, restrained by my presence. I kept silence. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, dad." she responded naturally.

"That's a relief." he nodded, as his glance wandered around just to fall upon me. "Bells, could you uh… wait for me inside? I'll be right back."

"Are you leaving?"

"No, no. I'll just...have a few words here with Edward."

"Okay…" she muttered skeptic, looking at me.

He waited until she closed the door to face me.

His eyes contemplated me as if this was the very first time he'd seen me. His thoughts quickly revolved around the myths and warnings everyone from the tribe have told him. But only one of those warnings had worried him enough to decide to talk to me.

_Blood. _

_They feed from blood._

_Human blood._

_Bella's blood._

"I always knew there was something different about you…I just didn't know it'd be _that_ different." he muttered to himself, as his heart pounded fast, showing his fear. "Bella has never been the type of girl that lives from fantasies…she's always been too mature and realistic for her age. And I know it'd all would change if you stay in her life. Ever since she met you, you've made her live in this fairy tale, where perfection exists."

I lowered my head, knowing what he was trying to say. The same thought had crossed my mind countless times.

He cleared his throat to continue "I know she thinks she's happy with you, but she's too stubborn to realize what she's doing. And…I want her to be who she's meant to be, to live the life she deserves. She's a great kid and…sooner or later, you'd change the type of life she'd accomplish. You would _change_ her."

_Not to mention how easily you could kill her._

I grimaced at the thought, and tried to prove him wrong, saying simply and quietly "I understand."

And I truly did. Better than he'd ever know.

"Good. I knew you would."

He walked back to the house as I stood there, staring at the closed door. As I walked into in the forest, I heard Bella's voice asking for me. He gave her a hurried answer, stammering that I'd be back...eventually. Their conversation continued as he explained her all the things she'd had wanted to know about their family. Then, he tried to persuade her to change her idea of me, saying that she'd be better having a normal life like all of her friends. And though she'd agreed with his perspective, the tone of her voice told me clearly she was lying.

A while later, he took off to compensate all the work he'd missed since she went missing. But she didn't waste any time and prepared herself to leave as well.

"Where are you going?" I asked from behind as she closed the door. She gasped, letting the keys slip out of her hands.

"Don't _do_ that!"

"Sorry", I grinned, handing her the keys "Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," she implied with a playful and childish tone as I arched my eyebrows in amusement "I just…I knew you were there."

"I'm sure you did." I laughed.

"Um...is it me or your eyes are, like, getting darker by the minute?" she asked, leaning closer.

"They turn black whenever I'm hungry."

"Are you eating something today?" she inquired innocently, forgetting about my _alimentary_ _habits_.

"No….I need to hunt for animals to satisfy my hunger a little. And I'm not leaving you until you get back to normal." I said "Now, where were you going?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to escape from all of this and do something common, something anyone _not related_ to vampires would do." she said. I nodded, knowing exactly where to take her. We walked a few blocks to my car and as I drove away, I heard her ask "So, has it always been this way? Have I always been the _damsel in distress_?"

"I wouldn't say that. It's just that we all feel the need to protect you." I said, not confessing that maybe I _overprotected_ her to amend the fact that I've dragged her into my world.

"I don't like having so much attention upon me." she said, as if thinking out loud "And I think it's kind of uncalled for that Charlie and Jacob would protect me by keeping me away from what I want...from who I want."

My smile was involuntary and uncontrollable.

"They're just looking out for you, love. They don't trust me." I said "And I can't really blame them. _I _don't trust myself."

"Well, they're overreacting. You've taken care of me in ways I bet no one would."

I kept silence, wanting to believe her words. Timidly, she took my hand, looking through the window as if not wanting to face me for her action. I squeezed it gently, making her glance meet mine. She threw me a quick, loving, look and smiled, looking away again.

Eventually, we got to Seattle Green Lake Park. I grabbed my coat to protect my glittering skin from the beaming sun rays and walked with my head down so my uncovered face wouldn't give me away. Although Bella didn't know the park, she led the way randomly and, trying to make things easier for me, she walked to the isolated areas of the park.

"So, aren't you asking me how you lost your memory?" I asked.

"Not yet. I want to know the type of life I left behind so I can come to a fair conclusion whether this amnesia was for the best or not" her voice sounded full of conviction, as if she had thought it over already.

"This is one of the many things I love about you. You never back down when you make a choice"

"Nice. I'm a headstrong." she laughed.

As soon as we reached the area of the lake, she walked ahead of me and sat on the shore, turning her head to smile and wave at me to join her.

"This is refreshing." she breathed, outstretching her arms.

We watched the reflection of the dying sun on the calmed water, admiring how slowly it spread its colorful light over the sky, painting the clouds in golden and pink, announcing the arrival of the overtaking darkness. Once the twinkling stars made an appearance, we started wandering again. I tried to match her pace, as our forearms touched every now and then we bumped into each other.

"Is there a way to become what you are?" she asked, making me wonder if she'd heard my conversation with Carlisle.

"You don't want _this, _love" I said "It isn't living."

"You make it look easy and intriguing. I can't help but think of it." she said, eager "Oh c'mon. How does it work exactly? Do you just…_bite me_?"

I nodded, tightening my jaw "And let my venom spread through your veins."

"Sounds easy. How come I'm still human then?"

"I don't want to put you through all the pain of the turning, dear." I admitted, knowing it'd hurt me more than it'd hurt her.

"Well, there's beauty in the breakdown." she smiled, as if asking me to not take it so seriously.

"The last thing I want is to cause you pain." _Again_. "Not to mention that what's left of my soul is condemned for wanting yours."

"So, you see all of this like a _sin_?"

"I see this as…the sweetest taste of it."

"What a nice way to describe it." she chuckled "There's something I've been wondering…is this any different than the first time we met?"

"Very."

"Don't tell me we couldn't stand each other."

I smiled. "It was very...confusing, considering the circumstances. I kept myself in denial for a while, repeating over and over that I couldn't fall in love with a mortal. It was against all I stood for." I said "And now...all I keep repeating over and over is the irrevocable way you've become my life."

She smiled, embarrassed, as we sat on the farthest bench, where the street lamp was dim and poor so we could pass unnoticed. I embraced her, kissing her forehead as she wrapped me with her fragile arms. She whispered my name, making me face her.

Her tiny fingers touched devotedly my lips, fondling them, as she bit her own in an obvious debate whether to crash on mine or not. I didn't move, in spite of her intentions, limiting myself to stay still to give her the choice of changing her mind. Slowly, she raised her right hand to touch my face, taking her time to memorize it, as if discovering each trail of it, letting her hands slide gently to my jaw. Our noses touched lightly as she secured her arms around my neck. Her lips brushed mine gently; leaving inches of distance between us as her intoxicating taste lingered in my mouth. And she smiled, letting her lips surrender in mine, parting them. Her slow rhythm changed abruptly and she pulled away once my phone started vibrating.

She leaned her forehead into mine as I hesitated before picking up. As soon as I did, Emmett's cheerful voice mocked me.

"Alice just saw that!"

"_Emmett_"

"Not even amnesia could stop Bells from getting what she wants."

"_Emmett_" I repeated, sighing.

He ignored me.

"So, I heard Charlie stopped by the house with a bunch of wood stakes and crucifixes. Jasper was wondering if he'd bring any garlic with him…I personally hoped he'd show up with some big, dusted, coffins to bury us all."

"Now it's not the time, Emmett." I distractedly said, caressing Bella's flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, I know. Alice said you'd hate me for interrupting your _moment,_" he scoffed "But I wanted you to know that we just found out where Tanya is. We should be back tomorrow."

"We'll be waiting." I said, hanging up.

"Maybe we need to set those _physical boundaries_ again." Bella smiled as my lips returned to hers.


	13. Soul Meets Body

**BPOV**

_I found myself in an unknown forest. A dense curtain of mist disoriented my sight, my body felt heavier and weaker with the lack of oxygen reaching my lungs, forcing my breath to become quick and rough. I tried to make my way out of the foggy and unmarked path that seemed to lead nowhere. My sight was dim, and I couldn't see ahead except for some footprints that invited me deeper into the nothingness of the forest. I hesitated but gave in, following the trail._

_I saw nothing but a torn shirt stained with blood. Just when I was about to walk away, to take off and wander and surely trip my way through this unfamiliar place, I heard a sudden movement nearby, sharp, short and abrupt, and the leaves of the huge trees moved too, not in the easy wind-blowing way I expected but as if they had been scrapped together by a solid object. I jerked my head, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever I'd missed that would have enough strength, or rage, to provoke such thing but all I saw was a blur._

_Then, a drown scream came from the same direction. Without hesitation this time, I stumbled and tried to run to satiate my curiosity even though I didn't know what I'd find…much less what I should expect. I stopped a few meters ahead at the silhouette of a man seriously hurt lying on the ground, shirtless and worn out. But that wasn't what made me stop. That wasn't what made me contain my quick breathing to move closer._

_It was the perfect resemble of Edward, standing by the dying man. _

_I cautiously edged closer to get a better look. Edw__ard was curved forward, his arms extended to protect the man from something…someone._

_Ahead of them, also curved but in an offensive way, I saw an uncommonly beautiful blond. Her skin was perfectly pale, matching the mist that wrapped us all, and seemed delicate as porcelain, soft as silk, tender as a newborn's. Her eyes were black and wild, focusing on the man._

_Edward snarled, showing his teeth warningly, but she didn't retract herself. She moved closer, as if taunting him and enjoying so._

_I wanted to intervene, to speak, -not that it would help much- but it felt as if I wasn't there, as if I couldn't move._

_He launched himself toward her in a high jump. My eyes quickly rested upon the blond, expecting an impact that never came. _

_His body was lying tensely on the ground, under the grip of another female. Another blonde. He growled fiercely, extending his jaw, prepared to impinge on her perfect skin but he held back, twitching his head in obvious frustration, refusing to hurt her. I could tell she was using her entire body to make enough pressure over his, to make sure he wouldn't move. Slowly, she leaned in, her sharp teeth threatening to penetrate his neck. It was a move so instinctive, so innocent and yet so seductive, so tempting. _

_With a quick jump, and a smirk upon her face, she got a few meters away from him, joining the other female. _

"_You're lucky he's a gentleman or else you'd be ripped apart by now." _

"_I had it under control, Tanya. Thank you very much." the annoyance on her voice was obvious._

_Tanya ignored her._

"_My apologies. I misunderstood the situation, thinking my sister was endangered." she said to Edward. Her eyes flickered, boring into his. _

_It took him a long moment to compose himself. _

"_She was indeed," he replied harshly. "If you wouldn't have intervened."_

"_It was my prey." the blond protested, offended._

"_But…he is human." he frowned, looking at her disgustedly._

"_He took away your prey?" Tanya asked the blond, getting a little offended herself. _

"_No, I did not. I defended his life." Edward said. But his voice lacked of conviction, as if he was trying to believeso himself. But not wanting to give into polemics, he carried the man's body over his shoulders, prepared to leave._

"_You think you're too moralistic to hunt mortals?" the blond smiled with irony, snarling. Tanya raised her hand warningly to her sister, asking her to stop. He stood still, his face defiant and expressionless. "It's alright then. I can take you both."_

_And she hissed, leaping toward Edward._

Gasping in the dark, I felt a cold pair of hands refreshing my sweated forehead, drifting to my cheeks.

"It was just a bad dream." a familiar voice soothed me. I frowned at the darkness, trying to make my breathing, and my heartbeat, even. "Are you okay, love?"

"Yeah, I'm just…" Confused. Disoriented. Freaked out. "..I'm fine."

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It wasn't even three a.m.

"Are you really?" he insisted. "What was this dream about that altered you so much?"

I shook my head, pretending the images that flowed so graphically in my mind would vanish by simply doing so.

"It's…nothing." I muttered, placing my head on his hard chest. Immediately, he put his strong arms around my waist, kissing softly and repetitively my neck. Then, he started humming lowly an easing song with familiar notes but before I could recall where I've heard it before, I found myself fast asleep again.

And another dream started.

_This time I was in an old fashioned space where a ballroom dance was about to take place. The room had wide windows with heavy, over-decorated, curtains of a light tone of blue, that matched every other adorn in the antique place. It was overcrowded with people wearing clothes that could not be of this century, especially women, wearing long, elegant, ball gowns with gloves that matched the delicate colours of their dresses. I noticed the way men greeted them, with reverence, kissing gently their hands._

_Searching through the crowd, I recognized the one named Tanya. She was wearing a white strapless ball gown that showed her bare shoulders and shaped her perfectly defined body. She was accompanied by the other blond, her sister, and other girls I couldn't recognize._

_They wandered around the room until meeting Carlisle. They greeted each other quickly, but formally, forcing Carlisle to fill in the silence by presenting his family._

"…_And this is my son, Edward." He said. "Edward, this is Tanya Delani."_

_Her eyes went wide with excitement as she smiled, trying to mask her pleasant reaction at his name. Edward was wearing a black length coat with a stand up collar, his face expressionless as he stared at Tanya with an emotion that I couldn't decipher. _

"_We know each other." Edward told Carlisle._

_"You do?" Carlisle said enthusiastically. _

_"We crossed paths when I was away from home."_

"_We met under strange circumstances." Tanya said._

"_Indeed." was all Edward replied._

_The rest of the girls, Tanya's friends, just limited themselves to stare at Edward and start murmuring, but their flushed cheeks gave away the topic. But Edward seemed oblivious of them. He was focused on Tanya, staring at her with questioning eyes._

"_I've heard a lot from you and your famous runaway." Tanya told him. _

"_I was having a hard time accepting what I've become."_

"_I guess that's why you were defending a mortal's life." He simply nodded. "Now I understand. I'm terribly sorry for my sister's reaction."_

"_It's alright. She meant no harm. After all, I was the one against our instincts."_

_The formal band started to play a slow tempo waltz. It took her no time to ask. _

"_Would you mind joining me for this dance?" she asked innocently. He hesitated and stared at her with distrust. "No hard feelings, right?"_

"_No hard feelings." he repeated, taking her hand and leading the way through the overcrowded room._

_Edward started to dance, taking the lead, perfectly smooth, mastering each of his slow moves and trying to maintain a prudent distance between their bodies. She, on the other shamelessly hand, put herself closer to him very delicately and innocently, almost unnoticeably, making his hand slide unintentionally to her lower back._

_And, not giving him a chance to react, she placed her head on his chest, wrapping him seductively in her arms, leaving him with no choice but to do likewise._

"_Stop." Edward whispered, looking at her right in the eyes. And, as if he was reading her thoughts, added "I'm the last person you would want to get involved with."_

_She didn't respond, lifting her head, almost letting their noses rose, breathing him in._

"_Is that so? Or you don't feel prepared for intimacy, Edward?"_

"W_ould it make any difference?" _

_"Eventually, you will have to accept what we are."_

_"I rather stay on my own in the mid-time."_

_She didn't reply, placing her head on his chest again, as if knowing this was the only change she'll get to do so. Seconds before the band stopped playing, he separated himself from her, offering an apologetic grin and walking away._

_She stood there, unaware her sister had joined her._

_"I know that look." _

_"Which one?" Tanya asked abstractedly, staring at Edward as he got lost in the crowd._

_"Your look of desire." she laughed. "That boy is in trouble."_

_"Like never before."_

"_So, you'll just give him hell because he didn't give into you?" she asked, amused._

_Huh. So, they didn't speak so formally after all…_

"_I'm not used to it." She shrugged mindlessly. How humble… "You know the saying…when you know you can't have something, is when you want it the most."_

_I'll show you what I want the most right now, you b—_

I opened my eyes with reluctance, just to find myself wrapped up to his chest. I sighed in relief.

"Did it happen again?" he asked tenderly, caressing my forearm.

"No, this one was…different."

"Want to talk about them?"

I shook my head, looking away. Glancing at the clock, I almost jumped to my feet.

"Did Charlie leave already?"

"Yes. He left you a note downstairs, saying he'd bring dinner tonight and asking you, quite subliminally, to stay away from me. He came to check upon you thrice before leaving."

"He did? Where did you hide?"

"Under the bed, of course." He chuckled.

I shook my head with a smile and started to prepare myself for school, taking my time, trying to find a logical explanation for my dreams. It didn't make any sense. Why would I be dreaming of people I've never met before? People I don't even know if existed or not. Edward prepared me breakfast. And even though I swallowed most part of it as fast as I could to save time, his culinary skill was as flawless as addictive.

"Are you sure you wouldn't be better at home, love?" I heard him ask concernedly as I rushed my way to get my backpack and almost choked myself with the juice.

"Don't worry. I'm fine." I smiled, taking his hand. "I just really want to know a little bit more about my forgotten self, you know, how was my life, what kind of friends I had and all that stuff…it's better than staying here, waiting for Charlie to come and sermon me about you. "

He agreed with a smile.

Once in the car, Edward's soft and shy laugh broke our harmonious silence. I turned my head and raised my eyebrows in curiosity.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"I just can't get over something you said in your sleep." He smiled. "You sounded so demanding, so secure. Now I'm curious."

"I did? What did I talk about?"

"Me..." He answered, probably wanting me to remember. I waited. "…_Being yours and yours only._"

"I said that?"

He nodded, his face lit with a playful smile. I lowered my head, feeling how slowly my cheeks flushed.

"You said nothing but the truth." He said tenderly, rubbing my cheek.

I smiled, debating myself whether to tell him about my dreams or not. After all, it could've been just random tricks of my subconscious. Either way, I felt exposed enough already to share such thing with him. At least, for now.

It took him just a few minutes to get us to school. Good thing I wasn't nervous. Thanks to the amnesia, I could care less about people's reactions and opinions.

"Alright, love, so you have geometry, geography, literature and biology today." he said, reading my schedule. "But you're a little late for geometry anyways, so let's take you to geography."

"Aren't you taking classes with me?"

"Just biology."

He held my hand, making a space for us to walk by in the overcrowded entrance.

The day started slowly and predictably. Two of my classmates introduced themselves as Jessica and Eric, who at times, seemed to forget about my amnesia. Jessica, on the other hand, tried to make an _obvious_ effort to talk about something else besides herself, and some guy named Mike Newton, but it was almost impossible for her. She didn't seem to care much about my amnesia as long as Mike was part of the subject.

A couple of hours later, I stormed out of Literature class to find Edward leaned over the lockers, waiting for me. His eyes softened and his lips spread a little, forming a shy smile. We moved slowly to the cafeteria, trying to pay no mind to the hectic people rushing back and forth near of us, to those who stare and started murmuring, to those who judged me with their glares.

"So, how was your class?" he asked, maybe to distract me from all of the sudden attention I was receiving.

"I thought it'd be boring but it was interesting, actually. There's this quote that's stuck inside my head." I said, searching clumsily for my notebook. " '_In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.' _"

"You sound intrigued. Have something in mind?" he asked with a smile as we sat on the farthest table. I was getting used to go incognito. He made it easier and even pleasant.

"I was just wondering how it'd apply to you...if it'd help me to know a little more about your past." I admitted. "I guess I already know your _unspeakable secret…_so, is there any _irreversible_ _regret_?"

His face turned serious as he looked away.

"There's one thing that I really regret." his voice was velvet but so weak. And showing a sudden melancholy, he added "Pushing you away."

"What do you mean?" I frowned, unconsciously whispering as well. His melancholy was contagious.

"There was this _incident_ on your birthday that made me realize everything you'd be giving up to be with me, everything that I was depriving you from. And I was not worthy, _I'm still not_, so I forced myself to believe you'd be better on your own, without the constant intervention of creatures like me in your life…and we took separated paths." He said. "I was convinced that you'd forget me, that you'd move on…I just didn't know it'd hurt so much to presence it."

"Is this when Jacob comes into my life?"

He nodded. "I didn't know I could _feel_ the way I did…I was desperate to take his place, to be the one that held you, to be the one you dreamt of, to be the one for you."

"You've accomplished it." I smiled.

He shook his head. "But I've left scars in your life that I can't ignore."

I didn't feel surprised he hadn't mentioned this. Weaknesses and mistakes leave wounds no one likes to talk about.

"Those scars are what give meaning to our love, what define how deep it is." I said. "Maybe we needed to go through all that struggle to realize what we are to each other."

"I don't know how you do it… how you have so much faith in me, how you're able to see the bright side of all of this." He admitted, shaking his head. "But it means everything to me."

The bell rang, cutting off our moment. A couple of minutes later, we stormed into the classroom and everyone's curious glance immediately fell on me. I don't know for how long I stood there awkwardly, trying to see if any of those faces were familiar, until the professor cleared his throat to get my attention.

"Miss Swan, it's great to have you back. Mr. Cullen informed us what happened, I'm really sorry."

I managed to grin politely as Edward squeezed gently my hand, leading the way to the empty seats of the last row. The class continued but I could feel everyone discreetly turning their heads to look at me. I was the shiny new toy.

Eventually, he gave us all some time to prepare our answers and to call me to his desk, trying to fill me in.

"I can do it." offered innocently a young boy. The professor nodded, encouraging him to continue, as if he had taken a huge weight off his shoulders. "Hi Bella, I'm Mike… Newton."

"Mike…yeah, hi."

I turned my head in search of Jessica.

He started an enthusiastic monologue about the class and, with a lot of effort, I changed my blank stare, pretending to know what he was talking about, doing some annotations here and there and nodding every once in a while.

"We're all going to the beach for the weekend. Want to join us?"

"You mean, tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"I uh…don't know. Could Edward come with me?"

He hesitated, wincing a little.

"He'd never showed any kind of interest in hanging with us but…uh, sure. Tag him along." Then he changed the course of the conversation. "So um…is it true? Are you and Edward…you know, like…"

Oh just spit it.

"Together?"

"Uh…yah."

I nodded, confused. Was I so anti-social that no one ever noticed I was with Edward?

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him staring fiercely at Mike, who apparently noticed since he hurriedly said "Okay, so…I guess this will be enough. Let me know if you have any doubts."

"Thanks."

I walked to my seat, my hands full of posts-it and my head full of doubts. What did he mean _'is it true?' _Wasn't it obvious? And…was he _hitting_ on me?

"What's that?" Edward asked tenderly, peaking to see my floppy writing as I sat.

"Mike just handed me all of the classes I missed."

"Why?" he frowned "He _knows_ I'm your partner."

"Not a big fan of Mike, are we?" I smiled.

"He despises me. And I'm not very content about him either. I hate the way all of his thoughts revolve around you."

"How do you know?"

He pointed his forehead with his finger and smiled. Just when I was about to ask what he meant, the professor handed us the materials we were using today, talking non-stop about a coming test.

"Don't tell me you're jealous." I whispered, chuckling at the remote possibility.

"Very." he admitted, twitching his body a little so he'd face me.

"Really?"

"You have no idea."

I bit my lower lip, restraining a smile.

"You know, I had this dream about you---" I blurted out. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I shook my head, laughing. "About you and this girl named Sasha…Tasha…I can't remember. But I do remember her last name was Denali."

"_Tanya_ Denali?" he frowned.

"Yeah." I imitated him, frowning. "Don't tell me she isn't part of my tired subconscious."

"She isn't." he grit his teeth. "What was your dream about?"

I told him everything with details, from their old fashioned clothes, to the way they speak and the room I saw them dancing, trying to set aside my feelings once she showed her intentions.

"It wasn't a dream. It was a memory." he said. "Tanya's memories."

"How do you know?"

"Because that's how we met…that's exactly what happened."

"I don't get it. Then why would I remember _her_ memories and not mine?"

He hesitated, like he was choosing the right words. The bell rang, quickly followed by the tumult of footsteps as everyone rushed to take off. We were the last ones to leave.

"I'm not sure. She took away yours, so this could be part of her ability." Edward murmured to himself.

"She _what_? But how? And why would she?"

"She has the ability to control, or alter, human's memories." He said, deep in thought, like he was trying to decode this as hard as I was.

"I guess I know her motivation." I said lowly. He frowned, trying to read between the lines of my words. "You."

"What?"

"In my dream…I could feel her emotions and her intentions. It was like _I_ was living _her_ past. It was painfully obvious how she attached herself to you." I looked away. "And...I don't know, maybe she was waiting for an opportunity. Maybe it would have been too obvious is she did her weird mental thing to you."

"And all of this time I've been ignorant of her real intentions."

We were done with classes for the day and I was glad I told him about the dreams on our last class. It made things easier for me since we were already walking toward his car, where I could freak out and no one would notice.

"So, is it common for vampires to develop abilities once they're turned?"

"I guess it depends on the way your body reacts to the change. It can be very random, though."

"Do you have any?"

He hesitated, tilting his head a little.

"Yes…it's quite a habit now." He smiled. "I can _hear_ what people think."

Oh boy.

"Really?" I swallowed. "Can you hear what I'm thinking right now?"

He grinned. "No...no, I can't."

Though he couldn't, I knew my blushing and heartbeats would tell him exactly what was crossing my mind.

I kept silence for a moment. "Are you messing with me, Edward?"

With a low, and loving, laugh, he responded. "I would never, love. It's just that you're the only exception to my ability."

"What? But why? Is something wrong with me?"

He chuckled and shook his head.

"You never change." He whispered, staring at me with a pearly smile, enjoying my naivety. "No, dear, there's nothing wrong with you. We've come to conclude that this could be part of _your_ ability, something to protect yourself from other's prying abilities. Like mine."

"Well, mine is not as useful as yours." I complained. And, giving it a second thought, added "If this thing I have makes me immune to other's powers then how did Tanya got away with her plan?"

"I'm not sure. I've considered that yours might have failed because you're still human and you've never fully used it as an _ability_ or a _defense_. You're not familiarized with it yet so at times, it could be as if you don't have it at all…which might explain why there are other abilities that work on you." He sighed. "I really don't know. I wish I could have a better theory."

None of us spoke again until we got home, probably still thinking about the same thing. I couldn't help but wonder how things would turn out if I could control my immunity at my will. Once home, I dropped my books and changed into comfy clothes, wearing a plaid shirt over a thin one, wondering if Charlie would appear with his gun out of nowhere to make sure I followed his advice.

"So, what are we doing today?" I asked, walking down the stairs.

"I was hoping we'd see _Interview With The Vampire._" he smiled, toying with the DVD cover of the movie. I glanced at the t.v., distinguishing Charlie's post-it stuck on the screen.

I grabbed the remote, never pushing the play button. Trying to set aside my worrying thoughts and the confusing theories running through my head, I curled myself next to him on the couch. He opened his arms to receive me, locking me gently by the waist.

"Charlie has a point. This _is_ wrong." he said absently, toying with the curls of my hair.

"Good. Being right is overrated." I murmured against his chest.

He buried his face on my neck, taking off my plaid shirt to kiss my bare shoulders slowly.

"A million for your thoughts." He whispered.

"I don't think they're worth that much." I smiled. "I was just remembering…that you never did told me."

"Hmm?" he barely murmured on my skin.

"Your _unreachable dream._"

He fought a bitter smile, digging his head into my hair.

"Well, I have many, silly, unreachable dreams." he whispered. His voice reverberated in my ears. "Like take you to the park without hiding behind a sweater...sleep next to you without a blanket between us, take you away to the Caribbean, where we could take a walk on the beach to watch the sun hiding behind the clouds…and spend the rest of my existence with you, delighted by the little details of life that only you can show me."

I pulled away to see his face. His gaze wandered around, avoiding me.

"Is that what you really want?" I asked, touching his jaw so he'd face me. "'Cause I'm sure there are a couple of those we can make come true."

"There are?" he asked playful.

"Yeah, I mean, we can book a flight to the Caribbean next summer and walk around a lonely beach, where no one would notice you. Watch the sunset on a hammock and wait for the sunrise." I murmured, fondling his lips. "And spend the rest of _existences_ together."

"If only you could remember these words once your memory is restored." he grinned unwillingly, touching my lips.

"I'm pretty sure my reaction will be just the same."

"You've never liked commitments. Alice kept warning me of your reaction if I dared to speak about it so I never brought it up."

"Maybe my amnesia isn't so bad after all." I smiled, meeting his lips.

"Maybe it isn't." He murmured in my lips, chuckling lowly, holding my face in his hands…just to be interrupted by his phone.

I'll have to do something with that mobile…

He picked up in a blink.

"_We're home." _I could hear the delicate voice on the other line. That was enough for him to hang up and prepare ourselves to leave.

His mellow mood turned quickly into seriousness, making me wonder how dangerous was the situation. He barely spoke, his face displeased and tense, staring at the nothingness ahead of us in the road. I decided not to speak, afraid my words wouldn't do any good.

We were at his house's garage in no time. My heart thudded in my ears.

He mechanically got out of the car and held the door for me, taking my hand to walk to the house. I stopped, squeezing his skin gently to have his attention.

"Wait." I whispered. If my words wouldn't help, at least I'd try. "Is there something you're not telling me?" He shook his head frowning, his lips sealed in silence. "Then, what are you so worried about?"

"I'm not."

"Edward..."

"Right now you shouldn't be concerned about me, Bella." he looked away. His voice was cold and distant. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. And I'm not moving until you tell me what is it."

He sighed, passing his hands anxiously over his face.

"I... don't feel comfortable doing this. Tanya doesn't know how to control her ability. At all." His face was absent. "And there's nothing I can do to help. Nothing I can do to make sure you'll…make it through."

It felt so strange to have him worrying out loud, to feel his tension, his insecurities.

"I'll be fine. I promise." I said, taking his face in my hands. "Can you hold onto that promise?"

He nodded, showing me half smile, staring at me with love and agony. And he leaned in, pressing his lips very softly against mine, wrapping me by the waist.

"No matter what happens, I don't want you to hurt this Tanya girl."

"_What_?" he snapped.

"I don't know her, and it's obvious she'd caused more trouble than anyone's worth, but I don't want to feel the guilt of knowing someone's life, or _existence_ in this case, was ended because of me."

Not to mention that she could use her ability against them all if so she wanted.

His eyes softened, and he nodded slowly, as if still considering the idea but ended up promising he wouldn't. Finally, we entered the living room, where everyone was focused on me anxiously, scrutinizing each of my moves.

"Where's she?" Edward asked, serious.

"Right here." sang a very feminine, very seductive voice. I recognized her right away.

Walking down the stairs, the exact girl I dreamt of today, smiled at me.

"Poor thing." she said sardonically.

"Don't push your luck, Tanya. _I_ didn't make any promises to Bella." The strong, dark haired, guy said.

That meant they've heard my conversation with Edward. That's why Tanya was smiling so much. She knew she was walking alive out of this.

"Relax, Emmett. I'm not causing any more trouble."

"You better." threaded the blond, young, guy.

She ignored him, sitting on the couch and gesturing me to join her. I obeyed, Edward right next to me, growling lowly. Everyone was tense, prepared to snap and Edward's little sister gave him a meaningful, elongated, look. I watched him move slightly his head in understanding.

"Remember to forget." She said. "I'm sure they'll be memories you won't feel so glad to have again."

And with no further explanation, she touched my forehead carelessly, making me feel the effects immediately. I shut my eyes closed, surrendering.

"This is a vicious circle. You'll feel all guilty once her life is exposed again." I heard her say.

"Maybe. But for now… this is all I need. _She's_ all I need." Edward responded.

Not struggling against the sudden weariness, I faded into the blackness of unconsciousness, as vivid images started to fill my mind incessantly.

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**AN**: Hey guys! So, I had a couple of ideas about how Tanya and Edward could've met and how he could've turned her down _politely_but this one seemed like the most appropriate for a K+ fic :p.


	14. Déjà Vu

**BPOV**

I regained consciousness as the fatigue of my body echoed continuously. I felt like a prisoner of my own head, as if my thoughts were saturated, spelled and bound to revolve around the only thing that had my attention. Pain.

Slowly, afraid of what I would see, afraid I would wake and face the worse of nightmares, I opened my eyes, welcoming the fuzzy light of the room I was in. Taking a look around, I saw a pale skin next to me on the bed. His eyes searched for mine anxiously and the frown on his forehead vanished as he sighed lowly in relief.

"Bella?"

His body was tense, expectant.

"Who are you?" I muttered; my voice weak from disuse. He contained his breath. I laughed in spite of myself, touching gently his nose. "Gotcha."

Seeing the grin that extended over his lips made me forget about the pain.

"Now, that's just _mean._" he smiled, as his hands wrapped me gently, touching my back -though it felt more like tickling- through the opened cut of my patient gown. His soft lips skimmed my cheek, drifting to the corner of my mouth to finally meet my lips, where I welcomed him eagerly, feeling how my entire body reacted to his once his fingertips caressed delicately my bare back and stopped by my waist, bringing me closer to him.

"I'd dare to say you're okay, Bella." we heard Carlisle say, standing in the doorway with a smile. I lowered my head, looking away. My face burned as I tried to hide my smile. He filled the awkward silence casually. "Do you remember anything from the past few days?"

I cleared my throat to find my voice.

"Yeah, it's like I never got amnesia. I remember everything."

"You do?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

I nodded and a shy grin spread over his lips, backed up by a naughty look.

"That's a relief." Carlisle said "We were waiting for you to wake up to call Charlie. He's trying to let it all sink in and being near us wouldn't do him any good."

"Leave it to me. I'll talk him out of his brainwash."

"I'll be right next to you." Edward smiled, knowing a heated conversation between Charlie and me would _need_ his intervention.

"Then I should get going to call him." Carlisle said, giving Edward a meaningful look before leaving. All signs of Edward's unusual playfulness vanished as he nodded, like he had already thought whatever Carlisle had mentally said.

Once the door was shut closed, I couldn't resist asking.

"What was that about?"

He rubbed his forehead hardly, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"We're wondering if there's any side effect to Tanya's ability."

"Is that why I am in the hospital?"

"Not really…I needed to be sure you'd be okay so I asked Carlisle to monitor you for a couple of hours." he admitted, sitting next to me. I immediately moved closer and he cuddled me tenderly, wrapping me in his arms. "I was…very impatient…even when all the tests indicated that you were perfectly healthy."

"You thought she couldn't undo this." I remembered. He placed his head on my shoulder, his breathing hitting softly my neck as my hand caressed his jaw. He seemed so vulnerable, as if this brought to the surface the exposed side of him he always tried to hide.

"I didn't want to think about anything while you were unconscious. Your heart was beating too fast for no apparent reason. She mentioned this was your way of recovering your memories, that all of this would be nothing more than a distant dream once you woke up, but I didn't believe her…I thought you wouldn't…"

"I kept my promise." I whispered, touching his lips.

Lifting his head, he let his eyes meet mine. And he leaned in, gently and softly, like he was afraid I'd shatter his perfect illusion. He entwined his bare palm with mine, his thumb caressing me gently. I know he intended to be cautious, making his lips brush against mine in a devotional way, but it had the opposite effect on me. He was triggering the very human, very alive, part of me that craved for him.

He pulled away just when lust was taking over me. I couldn't tell how much longer I'd bend into self-control anymore.

With a bitter smile, he touched my flushed cheek.

This would have been the right moment to ask what was wrong, why he was acting so different, what I had missed during my unconsciousness that made him so concerned about the side effects of Tanya's power but I was better off not knowing.

He clued me in unintentionally.

"Alice is having a hard time trying to _see_ you ever since your memories were restored."

"She can't see me…at all?"

He shook his head.

"It's really frustrating. And here I thought I could keep you safe."

"Well, I don't plan on leaving you." I said, squeezing his hand. He grinned unwillingly, like he had planned otherwise.

"There's someone wanting to see you." he said, looking at the door. "I'll be right back."

"You don't have to leave."

He tried to ease me with a quick grin. "He's _asking_ me to."

And before I could reply, he walked away in a hurried pace, like he was trying hard not to think it over and stay.

I sighed, letting my head fall on the pillow and shutting my eyes closed, trying to imagine what could be hidden behind his hollow glance. But, as if trying to distract me from my consuming thoughts, I felt a boiling hand rubbing my cheek.

"Jake." I said, opening my eyes.

"Hey stranger." He grimaced. "It stinks around here."

"It's not me. I showered." I said, trying to ease the tension. He smiled warmly.

"Good to know…I was having my doubts." he said. I pinched his arm, though he probably felt nothing. He sat casually on the edge of the bed and asked "So, is this like the usual post-amnesia? You remember everything before it but not during it?"

"Oddly, I remember _everything_. Though I feel like I'm missing some pieces."

"And here I was prepared with this little speech to fill you in where I sounded all epic and stuff."

"I guess you were epic…in your own way."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "That's lame, Bells."

"Yeah, I know." I smiled.

"So, when are you outta here?"

I shrugged. "Today, I hope. If I'm lucky, I'll be cliff diving with you in no time."

He scoffed. "But of course you will."

"Want to bet?"

"Walking is the only physical activity you'll be doing for a _long_ while."

"Jake—"

"Jake nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if the cliff crumbled with your current luck."

"Bite me." I said, sticking out my tongue at him childishly.

"How _thoughtful_ of you to ask me and not _him_." he muttered, glaring at me. "Seriously Bells, you're giving sadomasochism a whole new meaning."

"Yeah, and I'm lovin' it."

"I always knew there was something wacko on your head."

"That's why we get along so well."

He smiled.

"Think he'll be too obsessed with your safety to let you spend some _quality_ time with me?"

"I think he'll understand."

"Really? 'Cause I pictured him snapping at me."

I knew there was something he was trying to ask, something he was trying to be subtle about. I could tell already where this conversation was heading.

"I'm sure we'd work it out."

He sighed and frowned, deep in thought, and then really asked what was bugging him. "How can you forgive him, Bells? Or you've _conveniently_ forgotten everything he put you through?"

"There's nothing to forgive. This was _not_ his fault_._" I defended. "He protected me, Jake."

"Big deal." he shrugged. "It was the least he could do."

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" I asked. We both knew Edward was listening.

"What?"

"_This_. You're telling me all this just to hurt him."

"I thought I'd explained myself clearly before…" he shook his head. "Bella, I could care less about his pathetic feelings. It's _you_ I'm worried about. It's the thought that your life is in _his_ hands, that you _trust_ him so blindly that you're _willing_ to give up your own _life_ just to be with him in this misery disguised as happiness."

His voice was low and calmed, even when I could feel the anger he spat through his words. He was different, changed…as if he meant this, not with the usual intention of picking a fight and show off his savage nature but as if he wanted to really understand me and my reasons, which I knew were completely irrational to him. But maybe he needed this to convince himself to let me go, maybe he wanted to hear my decision from me and not see it through my actions.

"This is my choice." I said, defiant.

"No, this is your _consequence. _This_ right here _is why you shouldn't even _consider_ being near him."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said, knowing this was a lost cause.

He raised his arms defensively. I noticed the tremble in his hands.

"Fine, I guess my thoughts will do more justice than my words." he murmured.

"I'm serious, Jake, leave him alone. This was _not_ his fault and yet he feels bad enough about it."

He hesitated, staring at me.

"I'm not making any promises."

"If you—"

"Whatever. I'll _try_." He sighed. "I don't get why I'm always misunderstood, Bella. I came with the intention of seeing you, to know if he's treating you right, not to try to substitute your common sense and make the jealous ex-boyfriend scene."

I looked away, biting my tongue, feeling as the one to blame for always taking things too far. I knew he would respect my decision, even when he didn't agree, and he would do anything to see me reach happiness. Even if it meant sacrificing his own.

"I know…and it means a lot, Jake. It's just that…I feel really defensive about this because, lately, I've had to justify myself to everyone."

"I guess we're giving more importance to your safety than to your happiness." He showed a half smile and shrugged a little. "You can't really blame us for caring about you, Bells."

"Yeah, it's such a relief to know that you guys would want me alive and miserable over happily immortal."

"Happily _dead_ is more like it. You wouldn't last a day with your _happiness _and your _luck_."

He chuckled at my sudden frown.

"Seriously, Jake…"

"Yeah, yeah. Give it a break, Bells." He smiled. "I should get going to tell the guys that the search is over now. Quil must be somewhere over Mexico by now."

"Tell him I say hi."

"Sure," he said, standing by the door to stare at me. "Just answer me something before I take off."

"Shoot."

"Is this what you really want?"

I returned his affectionate stare so he could see through me and know I wouldn't lie. As much as honesty might hurt right now, I knew a life built upon lies would hurt more.

"Yeah. This is exactly what I want."

His hands curled into hard fists as he nodded. And before walking out, I heard him murmur "That's all I needed to hear."

I got a little edgy knowing he could take out his anger on Edward but I got company right away. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were doing this to keep me distracted.

"Bella?" asked Emmett, sneaking his head through the half opened door.

"Hey you." I smiled absently.

"Bella!" I heard a high pitched voice exclaim, walking from behind Emmett's voluminous back.

Alice's arms asphyxiated me in mere seconds.

"It's great to see you too, Alice." I muttered in a weak cough.

Taking a look at the door, I saw Jasper waving at me, smiling nervously. I smiled back and noticed Rosalie with her arms folded on her chest, looking at me differently…for a change.

"Mom says hi." Emmett said. "She's on the phone with Charlie."

I nodded and asked "So…where's Tanya?"

"Don't worry. She won't be around for a long time." Rosalie said, smug.

"Emmett was very disappointed watching her runaway." Jasper said.

"I even considered you were developing Stockholm Syndrome, Bells." Emmett smiled.

"Can't blame you...I've considered it myself. But I'll think of something to make it up to you." I returned the smile. "Well, at least she's alive."

"Yeah, but if you're changing your mind about that, I'm _right here_, you know." Emmett said.

"I know." I flashed another smile at him. "I thought Edward was with you guys…where's he?"

"He's talking with the p---" Jasper was caught up by Rosalie.

"I'll go get him for you." she offered.

I thought it odd that Rosalie offered herself but she seemed pleased, leaving the room with a wide grin. And, whatever Rosalie did, was quite effective. Edward was back in the room in mere seconds. I spotted his mood hadn't change. His face was serious and his eyes absent, avoiding me at any cost.

"Hey." I said eagerly.

He grinned, sitting next to me on the bed.

"We should get going." Alice said. "We haven't hunted in _forever_."

"Do you want us to wait for you, Edward?" Jasper asked.

"You guys go ahead. I'll catch up with you later." He said lowly. They all leaved quickly, none of them seemed to notice Edward's seriousness. And with a different and suffered voice, he asked "How are you feeling, love?"

"I'm fine…" I said, suspicious. It was more a question than an answer. "How are _you_ feeling? You look a little beaten up."

He chuckled once.

"_I'm fine._" he mocked me, showing me a weary smile. Then he welcomed whatever torturing thought he had before, turning his face serious again. I caressed his hand, trying to find words within me that could pull him out of his inner mayhem.

"Thank you for never leaving my side and having so much patience during my twisted memory rupture." In response, I saw a shy attempt of a grin forming on his marble lips. "It gave meaning to my life when I didn't know how meaningless it was."

"How could I not?" he whispered, staring at our hands. "You are the very meaning of mine."

But his words didn't reach his heart. The feeling got lost somewhere within his vacant eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked. It came out as a painful whisper, begging to be left unanswered.

"Nothing." He said flatly.

I almost believed him.

"So, _nothing_ is why you can't look me in the eyes anymore?"

He touched my cheekbones and slowly traced down my jaw until reaching my chin, letting his lips replaced his hand. I knew this was his way of avoiding my question, of a avoiding a fight, but I couldn't resist. Much less complain.

Leaning backwards a little, I saw him making a face. "Charlie is almost here."

He stared at the door as he stood.

"Are you leaving already?" I frowned, ignoring his comment. Charlie could wait.

I regretted wanting to look into his eyes. There, in his black iris, I could see all the words he left unspoken. Words I was glad he didn't say.

"I'm going to hunt." he said absently, touching my cheekbones. "And Carmen wants to see me. Probably to make a pact."

"She can come here." I protested. He shook his head. "What if Tanya uses her to get to you?"

"I'll take my chances. I don't want them anywhere near you."

"Do you really expect me to stay here while you go out there to expose yourself?" I didn't wait for an answer. I was already jumping off the bed, trying to get all the wires out of me.

"I'll be fine." he said firmly, holding me gently but still by my forearms.

He seemed so decided, so determined to leave, like nothing could change his mind. He had it all planned. But there was something he wasn't telling me…something that would justify his persistence on leaving. The idea hit me unexpectedly, making me fear his reply.

"You're not coming back." I blurted out, starting to see things through his eyes. That was the reason behind his attitude, that was why he didn't talk about those feelings he kept inside.

His troubled gaze confirmed me that the thought had crossed his mind. His expression was confused as if his own doubt had been spoken out loud.

"What?"

"It's a matter of time before you ask me not to wait for you…before you admit that all of this made you change your mind about us."

"Would it be such a bad idea to put your safety first?" he asked lowly, as if pleading me to save him from saying the words that would crumble us.

"After all we've been through…we'll let my _safety_ tear us apart?"

He didn't say a word, maybe afraid that he'll give himself away, maybe considering my own words...it was hard to tell. His expression was absent and hurt and, as much as I wanted to believe I was overreacting, his attitude granted my doubts. Slowly, he rested his forehead upon mine and his pain overcame my accusation.

"Stay with me." I whispered, touching his cheek. He leaned into my hand, seeking for my touch, and closed his eyes, taking in the moment. "I don't want to hear you admitting how fragile we are together, how we'd be better off apart, how we've run out of reasons, how impossible this is. I just want you. All of you. Everything else is just collateral. Meaningless."

Again, silence was the only answer he provided. Slowly, his fingertips took away something warm and wet from the corner of my eyes.

"Wait for me." he whispered, kissing my eyelids.

This time, it was me who granted silence as answer. I knew I'd have a breakdown if I talked so I just hoped my silence would be enough for him to know that I would wait, even if he decided not to come back, that I was mature enough to show him I trusted in his word in spite of all my doubts and insecurities, in spite of the fear of never seeing him again. Still, I couldn't understand why his words sounded more like a departure without returning than a promise.

His finger caressed gently my lips. And without saying anything else, he leaved.

I tried to ignore the sudden emptiness that started filling me as I realized all he had left me with were his words and a promise that hurt more than what it eased.

Then everything happened too fast. Or too slow. I couldn't tell…I didn't care.

I remember being forced to drift away by some strong medication that Carlisle injected in my arm...probably to make sure I wouldn't snap. I didn't notice when he entered the room. My pleading eyes met his, asking for reassurance but found nothing more than a reflection of bitter emotions. Emotions I was already getting used to.

Everything spanned a little as I fought to stay awake. My eyelids turned heavier and heavier until I gave into whatever was carrying me away just to be brought back to reality at an abrupt sound. My mind was blank as I heard the door crack open. With effort, I opened my eyes and saw Charlie storming in the room, quickly followed by Renée, who sat by my side right away, touching my forehead and holding my hand as if I was in ICU.

"You told _mom_?" I snapped at Charlie, dragging the words through my heavy tongue.

"Told me what?" asked Renée.

"She doesn't know." Charlie muttered unwillingly.

"Know _what_?" she asked, gesticulating with her hands. "I had to book a flight to know why you missed the appointment at college since you didn't return my emails or calls and neither did Charlie. And this is what I find. My daughter lying on a hospital bed. Both of you have some explaining to do."

Charlie sighed and made a face as he went on telling her how I got lost in the forest and was found with a concussion. I tried to doze off and turned my back on them, their words echoing in some lost corner of my mind once Renée had hysterics, as Edward's last words got lost within me.

Minutes later, we were on our way out of the hospital and covering the familiar road to Charlie's place. Staring through the window at the darkness of the night, I ignored their constant questions, letting them get carried away with their own conclusions.

Once home, I saw a familiar bag and some luggage placed near the door of my room. Skeptic, I opened my closet's door and notice all my clothes were gone.

"What's going on? Why are all my things packed?" I asked, feeling dizzy as my legs carried me clumsily downstairs.

They shared an awkward look. It was Renée who spoke first.

"We're taking the first flight to Phoenix tomorrow."

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**AN**: Hey guys! So, this chapter turned out a little more drama-ish than I expected…I guess that's what I get from writing while listening to Sara Bareilles's song, Gravity, on a rainy day. It's such a beautiful song :)


	15. House Of Cards

**AN: **I think I should point out some minor spoiler concerning a few characters of Breaking Dawn. I'm sure most of you have read it but…better safe than sorry :p

*************************************************************************************************************************

**EPOV**

We were somewhere in the lost suburbs of a remote little town where Carmen was supposed to be waiting for us.

_It's been a week, Edward. Don't you plan on going back to her?_

Alice thought for the third time. I lowered my head and walked away from them, clearly not intending on answering…for the third time.

During the past days, they have refused to let me on my own, surely imagining I'd leave and never get back. They have kept their thoughts from me and I've been trying my best to restrain my self-indulgence and force them to give up on me.

Either way, I had nothing to lose by insisting.

"You guys know I can do this solo. There's no need to escort me all the way there."

"We're not going anywhere without you." Alice said bitterly.

"Besides, what would we tell Bella once we get back?" Emmett asked rhetorically.

There was an involuntary silence at the mention of her name. I broke their tense and vane expectations with a loud and exasperated sigh and shook my head, walking away, ignoring their resentful and confused glances affixed on my back.

Carmen spotted us a few meters ahead and welcomed us with her calmed and eased tone, muttering as lowly as if we were already next to her. The house stood out by its simplicity and its camouflaged yet clean colors. I felt a little more eased confirming it wasn't the same place where she had kept Bella. This was, probably, a friendly reminder that those memories were as displeasing for her as they were for me.

"Thank you for coming. I truly appreciate the trust you somehow managed to still have on me." she said affably, receiving us at the entrance with Eleazar by her side.

I simply nodded and managed to show an unwilling grin so that she could point out my discomfort and skepticism.

Alice and the rest followed me closely, standing by me in a natural but expectant position.

"I truly have no words to excuse Tanya's actions. I never suspected she would get herself in such immature and thoughtless circumstances." She said softly, her tender voice resounding in the spacious living room.

All eyes fell on me, waiting for a reaction that I wasn't ready to give.

"I can't say it's all past us, since Bella's life has been on the edge continuously, so please understand this is something I'm not very pleased to talk about."

"And we understand your position, Edward." said Kate, walking down the spiral stairs with Garrett by her side.

"We're just asking you to understand ours," intervened Carmen. "Tanya is part of this family and, even when we stand against what she did, we feel the need to protect her. All we ask of you is to spare her."

"We already have" Emmett frowned, expressing his inconformity and folding his arms.

"You have?" asked Eleazar.

"Bella asked us to." Rosalie clarified.

Kate and Carmen shared an anxious and expressive look as their eyes softened in relief. Then, their thoughts were freed, emitting their gratitude…ignoring the frustrating sacrifice it meant for us to actually let her go.

_That was really kind of her, Edward. _

_How noble. _

_I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you guys._

"Where is Tanya anyways?" asked Rosalie, her voice charged with scorn.

"With Irina," started Kate "they both joined a powerful and dangerous family that stands against the Volturi. They all keep a low profile, hiding and spreading in sunny towns."

"Why would they choose warm places?" Jasper inquired.

"To stay out of the Volturi's radar. We all know that to be spotted by a mortal in the sun is asking for a quick death by them so they think it's a good strategy to pass unnoticed."

"So, what do they do?" Emmett asked, impatient but playful "Hide in coffins during the day and go out to party during the night?"

Alice rolled her eyes.

_God. He's obsessed with coffins…_

And Jasper joined her with a smile, as if knowing what she was meant by her expression.

_We'll have to buy him one just for kicks._

"Most likely, yes. Except for the coffins part." smiled Garrett.

"We think Carlisle knows their leaders, Vladimir and Stefan."

Rosalie mentioned the remote possibility of such thing and the conversation went on as Carmen caught my lost glance.

_We want you to know that, in case the Volturi find out about Isabella's involvement with our world, we will stand by you and help you in all possible ways._

"Thank you." I simply said, feeling completely detached from her compromising words.

"So, where's Isabella right now? Is she safe?" asked Eleazar, looking at me.

"We surely hope so." Emmett chuckled.

"She _is_ safe." I affirmed, hoping I've dragged her bad luck with me.

"But we shouldn't be away for too long since she's by herself." Alice intervened, glaring at me.

Kate nodded. "I agree. Especially with Tanya's new friends."

I flinched at her comment.

"I know it's not my place to ask but have you considered turning her?" Garrett asked me.

The room went silence, our unnecessary breathings muted, as the fierce sound of the pouring rain hitting hardly the wide windows of the living room was all we heard. I saw Alice attentive expression, waiting impatiently for the answer she hadn't been able to see.

"I've been considering it during the past days." I admitted lowly. "But I'm not ready to act on it."

"You don't have much of a choice." Kate urged.

I growled, manifesting how low my patience was by now.

_By now, considering all we've been through, it would be more dangerous for her to live in your absence than to stay with you. _Alice thought.

Shaking my head, I turned my back on them, tired of holding back my disapproval.

"We can protect her. There's no need to turn her." Rosalie said.

"No, we _cannot_. She has become the perfect target to get to us...that makes her too vulnerable." Alice contradicted.

"I know it's not our place to decide, since Isabella has the blessing of choosing, but it could be quite dangerous for her to remain human any longer." Carmen said.

"Bella's life is not a public debate." I hissed.

"But it will be if they ever find out about her." Jasper said, walking toward me. His presence started to affect my altered nerves.

"We know you're trying to find an alternative way to get her off the hook but it would be better for both of you if she's turned." Garrett commented.

"We've experienced the excruciating pain that follows a turning." I sighed "How could you expect me to hurt her that way?"

_Your absence is hurting her deeper than any venom could do. _Alice thought_._

I lowered my head and no comments were added. The silence turned heavier than their unintended accusations. I grew more uncomfortable by the minute, longing to be back with Bella.

Predictably, I leaved them behind and fled to Forks.

As soon as the familiar and distinctively smell of the moistly town hit me, I took a shortcut to her house, covering the hazed road. Even from afar, I could tell she wasn't there. The house was empty. Right away, I thought of all the different places she could have been and glided my way to each one of them. I checked most part of nearby forests, all High School, Angela's house, Port Angeles little shops and, with reluctance, the Newton's store but I didn't find her.

Hoping she had appeared, I finally returned to her house, trying to hear her heartbeat from the closed window of her tidy room. But instead, I heard another heartbeat, faster, somewhat stronger. I followed the erratic sound, which lead to the front porch. There, I found Jacob repairing Charlie's duty car, comfortably lying underneath it. I stepped closer but managed to keep a prudence distance so my natural odor wouldn't give away my presence just yet.

But, much for my vane effort, I heard him cursing under his breath, mumbling something about the smell of dead cats on Charlie's seats.

"Hey, Charlie, could you hand me the Trouble Light?" he asked distractedly. I didn't respond as he insisted until getting frustrated and lifting the truck a little to come from under it. He looked at me without any hint of surprise and, with emphasized disdain, said "Oh. It's you."

_I knew Charlie is too much of a clean man to have that stinky smell on his car. _

"I need to talk to you."

He scoffed. "I promised Bella I'd try to behave with you, there's not much of a chance so try to not get into my nerves."

There was a moment of silence as I looked at him, trying to hear past the mundane thoughts he was having. But he knew my intentions.

_What are you staring at? Free trips to my mind are over, you freak. _

"Where is she, Jacob?"

_Where's __**who**__? _

"Bella. I've looked all over for her." I said, aggravated, doubting I could keep my voice even. "Where is she?"

"She leaved," He spat the words with arrogance and indifference. "saying she needed some time to herself and all that."

"It doesn't sound like her." I said absently. "You're just messing with me."

"Hey, you're the one that came here asking and accusing." He said defiant. "I guess she got tired of your twisted relationship with your ons and offs. Can't blame her, though it took her long enough to act on it."

"I can't believe you."

"Oh I'm sure you can, you just don't want to." He shrugged "It's way easier to think she'll forgive you, isn't it?"

I knew he could be right, that she left to save herself all the angst I could make her go through but the fact that he was around the hospital when Bella and I last spoke made me doubt his word.

"What about Charlie? He just let her go?"

"If Charlie half accepted a vampire as son-in-law, I don't think Bella's runaway was breaking news for him."

Turning my back on him, I let out a heavy sigh.

"This feels so…confusing, so unreal." I admitted.

"You leaved her. What did you expect? Some surprise fiesta for your return, when you shouldn't have leaved at all?" He said with spurn.

His words hurt me deeper than I expected, deeper than I wanted to admit to myself, making me face the part of me that has always been in denial whenever it came to Bella's safety.

"What could _you_ know?"

"More than you, that's for sure." He stared resentfully at me. "You broke her. Again. Every time you hesitate about the relationship, you hurt her. Just, don't go after her. She doesn't want you back."

"Your words are meaningless." I lied.

"But her actions are meaningful." He said. "Even if you want to believe my words are nonsense, the fact that she's gone proves me right."

I didn't reply anything else. I felt slowly how my uncertainty crumbled, giving room to a deep anguish as I accepted how loud her actions spoke.

**********************************************************************************************************************

**AN**: Hi guys! So, for this chapter, I wanted to shift points of views, wondering what Edward would do if, by a misunderstanding, he'd believe Bella leaved him since it's always the other way around.


	16. The Minor Fall & The Major Lift

**BPOV**

"Are you prepared for the exam?" Renée asked, stopping at a red light. I could spot the campus a few meters ahead.

"Not really."

Seriously…would it make a difference?

"I'm sure you'll do just fine anyways". I admired how oblivious she seemed of reality. "Sweetie, I've been meaning to ask you...how's your Spanish? Is it fluent?"

"Um…it's okay, I guess." I frowned at the road.

"And what about your French?"

"As good as my Portuguese, which I don't speak. Why?"

"I've been checking for some good universities in Europe."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get me as far as you can from Forks."

She smiled apologetically. "It was Charlie's idea."

That was enough for me to stay silent until we got to the campus.

"I guess you'll be done just in time for diner. I'll come to pick you up."

"It´s okay. I'll walk." I muttered through my teeth, grabbing my sweater more out of habit than out of need.

I noticed her intention of saying something else but I didn't give her the chance that would compromise me to an awkward conversation, where she'd ask and I'd dodge, just like it has been for the past week. A week…I wonder if he had noticed my absence already, if he ever did plan on coming back to me. God, I really wanted to ignore how obvious the answer was. That old saying, _all you need is love_ didn't work for me. I had love and lost it in the most inexplicable way.

I walked through the campus within minutes and mechanically followed all the instructions, nodding when needed and grinning when forced to. I spent an hour and a half knowing the facilities and taking the test, though my behavior indicated how indifferent I felt toward the result. Once done, I found myself almost jogging my way out of the campus. I couldn't find a path for my wandering feet. But, for once, it felt okay. I wanted to be anywhere but home, anywhere but _here_, so the destination lacked of importance. I just enjoyed the silence of loneliness, knowing it would be my only company for the coming days.

As I made my way through deserted streets that lead nowhere, an unfamiliar and tedious pair of eyes wore me down, scrutinizing me and my sudden heavy breaths. I stared back at the face trying miserably to put a name to his face. He was slim, with dark hair and chalky skin and his eyes were vivid golden, fierce and merciless. I didn't have to think it through to conclude what he was.

I started walking faster but I could feel footsteps behind me following my own closely. I didn't have any strength, or desire, to fight against something that I've been avoiding for so long. Maybe even fate got tired of postponing the inevitable.

The footsteps behind me ceased. I turned my head shyly and saw him stopped by this guy who had his right arm extended over the other's chest, keeping him from walking any further. He had silky black hair, the same colorless skin, looking much younger than the first one. He intervened to prevent the older's clear intention of draining me...though the reason escaped my logic.

I kept walking away with no intention of finding out whether they were human or not.

Just then, Renée called. Her enthusiastic voice screeched through my ears.

"Hi dear, how was the exam? Did you like the campus?"

If only she knew I didn't have the patience for trivialities like these.

"Um…yeah." I sighed, looking behind me one more time. They were gone. "Could we uh…talk when I get home? I'm on my way already."

"Actually, I was wondering if you could stop by the hospital."

"Why? Something wrong?"

"No, no. I'm just visiting an old friend."

"Okay, I'll be there." I heard myself mutter.

It took me half an hour to get to the hospital and, after asking for some directions here and there, I finally found her. She was in the ICU's waiting room, talking lowly with a blond woman that looked in her mid-thirties. Renée introduced her as an old friend from childhood, explaining her husband has been on a car accident.

They kept talking and I sat nearby, hearing distractedly their comments, and how thoughtlessly Renée confided her friend my carelessness and lifeless indifference toward everything. I grimaced, tired of hearing the same, and wandered around the hospital. On my way, I distinguished one of the young guys that had set their fierce eyes on me earlier on. Now he was wearing a turtleneck-long black sweater and a lab-coat. I followed him from afar, staring attentively as he entered a room to get some supplies. As silently as I could, I opened the door just to find the lights off. I hesitated but turned them on anyways, decided to face whatever the lights might reveal. But the room was tidy and empty, as if he had never entered. I sighed, half relieved, half expectant, and turned around to walk back to Renée.

Just then he appeared, right in my face, boring his eyes into mine.

I didn't break eye contact but stepped away clumsily, stumbling with a medical salver full of sterile instruments to suture.

As I stared at him, I felt completely incoherent for even considering he was a vampire. His skin was chalky and colorless, yes, but his eyes were vivid green. He was quite built up yet his expression was young. He didn't look old like I had thought I had seen him.

"Looking for something?" he asked. His voice was smooth and playful, as if he'd enjoy my frightened expression.

"For you, actually." My voice, for once, sounded full of conviction, masking my fear.

"How can I help you?" he asked casually, writing distractedly on his chart. "Are you related to Mr. Rowley?"

I bet he meant Renée's friend. I smiled, realizing he was trying to play naïve as if inviting me to desist on the idea of accusing him.

"I saw you a few blocks away. You stopped your friend from attacking me."

"Sorry?"

"Earlier on, you saved me."

He chuckled nervously.

"I think you're mistaken, Miss."

"No, I'm not."

"Um…have you had any recent trauma on your head? Memory loss? Short-term memory? Anything?"

Huh. He was playing funny now.

"Why did you save me?" I asked bluntly.

He stopped writing and looked at me again. His face was serious but his eyes were soft and tender. I stared at him defiant, trying to make my point and make him understand I wouldn't let this go.

"Fine, I'll play along." He said "Let's say I saved you, _hypothetically_ _speaking, _of course. What difference would it make?"

"None. I'm just curious." In response, he chortled and went back to his writing on the chart. I didn't have anything to lose by asking him directly what I was _really_ curious about, so I let myself blurt out the doubt. "You're not just another mere mortal, are you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, wrinkling his forehead with a frown. His voice turned edgy.

Good. I have his attention now.

"You have certain characteristics typical of immortal beings, usually better known as vampires."

"That's an irrational and senseless conclusion, Miss." he smiled "But, please, share with me these um.... _characteristics_ that are so obvious to you."

"The growling, the hissing, the odd and unusual skin color...it all screams immortal." He inhaled deeply, becoming a little edgier than before. I decided to push my luck a little further. "You don't have to do that, I know you vamps don't need to breathe."

With a low and humorous laugh, he said "You're quite brave to come here all by yourself and accuse me of such thing, miss."

Or quite stupid. I know…

"But there's something I don't understand. Even if I was as _immortal_ as a _vampire_, why would you bother to risk your life and come to face me?" he said "We're still speaking hypothetically, of course."

"I've been really attached to vampires for a while now. Guess it helped me overcame my fear."

He arched his eyebrows in surprise. "So, how did you get caught up with my kind?"

"_Your_ kind? Did you run out of hypothesis or something?" I mocked. He shook his head and reassured me with his serene expression and I understood he had nothing to lose either, since the ironic circumstances just made _me_ vulnerable. "Someone…I really care about is part of your world."

"And I guess that someone really cares about you too since you're still human. Leave alone alive."

I lowered my head, not wanting to admit how opposites were my tangled feelings.

"You haven't answered my question." I stated. It was obvious I rather leave unspoken just how deeply I cared.

Just then, his pager beeped, saving him from a compromising explanation.

"Gotta go." He muttered, looking at me with distrust.

"Don't worry. I won't tell a soul about my _hypothesis_."

"I know you won't. You look like a smart girl." He smiled smug "See you around."

You sure will.


	17. No Room For Mistake

**BPOV**

"Are you going out, sweetie?" Renée asked, sneaking her head through the kitchen's door as I tried to leave without her noticing.

I barely moved my head to nod.

"I'm just going for a walk." I said, knowing I would have to make up poor lies and excuses if I didn't justify my absence for the next hour.

She sighed lowly as her glance softened, turning motherly and loving. "I know you won't be out until late but still…"

Though it was obvious I'd fail at an attempt of a grin, I tried nonetheless so she could feel at ease…even when we both knew my disguise was falling apart.

I closed the main door behind me and walked my way to the hospital, entering the rushed clinical ambient, trying to spot my stranger friend in the sea of unknown faces. He was nowhere in sight. And I wasn't willing to go home without my needed answers. I gathered enough patience to wait for him at the entrance of the hospital, sitting on a bench, wondering if he could be the answer to my incognita, if he could be my escape. I waited there for almost an hour, watching the patients that came in and out, all of their faces telling a different story, all of them with different needs. And I wondered what my own face was telling, how much it was giving away.

"You're quite stubborn, miss." I recognized his mellow voice from behind.

I turned around, surprised he had deigned himself to come and notice my insistence since he had the chance to turn away and ignore my annoying presence. This time around, without my adrenaline high above clouds, I stared at him, trying to fully memorize his face and all of the little details that fear didn't let me see before.

He was wearing a blue sleeves shirt, his green eyes standing out as he looked at me with curiosity, his lab coat folded in his arms.

"I thought you would avoid me. After all, you don't own me an explanation." I admitted.

But, once I gave it a second thought, I could see the reason behind his amiability. He knew it would be pure trouble for him if he denied me the chance to question him since I could expose him, and even when no one might believe me, it'd get his hands full for a while.

"Can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind but I don't know…there's something about you that makes me curious…something that drags me in." he admitted lowly, staring at me as if the answer would hit him by doing so "Maybe it's the fact that you march at the beat of your own drumming. No fear."

"Fear is a luxury I can't afford."

"I see…" He smiled and paused for a brief moment, looking at me expectantly. "I've forgotten to present myself in all of this rush…I'm Gianluka but you can all me Luka…or Luke, I don't mind."

"_Italian_?" I asked, since he didn't have an accent that may gave it away. He nodded, a little confused. "Nice. I'm Bella."

"_Isabella,_" he said with a connotation of his native tongue. "_Italian_?"

"Not a chance." I shook my head. And, trying to ease my own tension, asked casually "Are you some sort of new-generation vampire or something?"

"I thought we were past hypothesis."

"We are…but I can't figure out why your eyes aren't golden…or black."

"Contacts," He said simply. "It's easier to pass unnoticed by picky people…"

Even though he trailed off, it was obvious what he left unspoken. "Like me."

He smiled in affirmation. "Um…why were you waiting for me, Bella?"

"You never answered my question." I shrugged a little, not willing to admit my sublime intentions.

"I thought you'd sweat this out…looks like I thought wrong."

"See? I knew you would understand. _You_ _look like a smart guy._"

He pulled off a gentle laugh.

"Okay then…I guess we could use some honesty." He said. "Um…there's a large group of us living here and we all try to not harm any mortals so we don't catch unwanted attention but it is always a little harder for the younger ones."

"So, you guys don't drink human blood?"

"Of course we do." he smiled. I gulped. "From blood banks and willing volunteers."

_Willing volunteers_? And here I thought I had a new mark of insanity…

"How _soothing_. But it still doesn't make any sense. I thought you guys didn't live in towns like this one because of the weather."

"Well, that's _exactly_ why we're here."

I frowned. "You lost me."

"How deep are you involved with vampires?"

"Define deep." I held back a tired and overused grin.

"Ever heard of the Volturi?"

"Um…it sounds familiar." I thought it over for a moment, trying to dig through my far and deteriorated memories and remember Edward's brief description of them, trying really hard to ignore why he _had_ to tell me about them. "Aren't they like a royal family in Italy or something?"

"Yeah, they are the ones that clean up our messes so our identities remain unknown." He nodded. "And we're here to avoid running into them."

"Why?"

"This is the last place they'd look for us. We belong to a coven that's enemies with them and, so far, we're going incognito." He stared at me with skepticism.

"You'll remain that way." I guaranteed him, getting his indirect. "So, aren't you guys looking for some new vamps to join you? Aren't you recruiting humans or something?"

"What do you mean?" he asked distractedly. I waited for my dark intentions to hit him. He got it right away and shook his head in disapproval but managed to show me a gentle smile. "Do you know what you'd be getting yourself into?"

"I do."

He stared at me with incomprehension, like he was trying to see through my hollow glance and understand my empty words. I didn't mind…he wouldn't find anything anyways.

"Okay then, let's assume that you do and that my masters accept you. Give me one good reason why you'd want this, something that could justify why I would be willing to take away your life."

I meditated the response, knowing an answer like _personal reasons_ wouldn't do.

"Let's say what I want…is what I cannot have."

"There have to be easier things in that list."

"I know it sounds unbelievable and totally nuts…but I'm fully aware of what I'd be getting into."

"Most humans I know avoid this as much as they can and here you are, asking me for it." He shook his head. His voice kind and low. "But if you know so many of my kind…why me?"

"Because all of the vampires I know wouldn't do it to save me the pain."

"I hope you have a more persuasive plan under your sleeve to convince me, Bella. You're making feel like the bad guy here." he said. "How would they react once they find out what I've done?"

"They won't." I assured him, surprised to find more pain than sorrow in my voice, but he ignored my faked confidence and just made a face, thinking it over. "It can't be that hard. I mean, I bet you guys turn people everyday."

"Yeah but it doesn't make it any less risky," He murmured "I'd be taking full responsibility for dragging you into this hideous life, and I'm sure once your friend find out about this, there will be severe consequences for me."

"We took different ways. There's no need to worry about that."

"You say that now…but keep in mind that you'll be undead for the rest of eternity, it's a matter of time before you guys run into each other."

"I'll deal with it when the time is right."

It wasn't an explanatory, or convincing, response but he understood the personal meaning behind its sublimity. And that was enough to drop his insistence.

"Okay then…I'll tell you what," he started "think the pros and the contras, having in mind there's no turning back…and, once you've sleep on it, we'll see where this goes."

"It doesn't sound very compromising."

"I'll keep my word; I just need you to think it over. Eternity is a long time for you to hold a grudge against me."

I managed to smile faintly.

"I'll keep insisting."

"Thanks for the warning." He smiled. "Anyways, I should get going. There's someone mumbling my name. God, I hope it's not gossip stuff again." I watched in trance how he stood on his feet and put on his lab-coat. He gave me an elongated look before saying "I really hope you'll snap out of it, Bella. There's nothing that could justify everything that you'd go through."

I was determined not to give into details so my dim light of hope would remain alive. I showed him an unwilling grin before walking away.

Once home, and after listening to Renée's monologue, which was becoming routine every single night, I walked to my room, taking some time to let my thoughts pour down. I wondered why I was giving into a sealed future so easily, why I was so willing to sacrifice the known for the unknown. Maybe it was my way of finding out if my turning was really the reason for Edward's behavior…maybe it was my way of proving how boundless my love is for him.

Tiredly, and mechanically, I took a long shower and searched for some comfy clothes, barely feeling my body as it collapsed on the bed, giving my thoughts permission to wander. As much as I avoided thinking about it…or about him at all, it hurt way too deep to reminiscence. I couldn't help but to fear his reaction once he finds out about my change.

Reality, in some weird way, got mixed with fantasy as I shut my eyes closed, feeling the burning path my tears covered until wetting my lips.

_A sweet and unexpected taste got mixed with the salty one __in my mouth._

"_You didn't say goodbye." His velvet voice whispered. I jerked my eyes open, aching to see his face, dying to feel his lips. _

"_I'm sorry." Was all I could mutter, marveling his facets. _

_I could tell he was trying his best to smile yet I could see his tearless sadness._

"_Have you made up your mind about Luka?" he asked in a listless whisper. "Am I too late?"_

_I half smiled, enjoying the dismay of my broken heartbeat as it struggled to become even by the simple sound of his voice. _

"_You're just in time." I whispered back, caressing his jaw line. _

_He smiled and held gently my wrist, putting on a delicate bracelet that had a heart hanging loosely. _

_As my pleading eyes looked up to meet his, he leaned in, letting me__ take my time to fully breathe him in. His breath was heavy and freezing cold, marking a path until reaching my own, trapping me._

I opened my eyes, expecting to see him next to me or even in a corner of the dark room. But there were no signs of him. Letting out a heavy sigh, I sat on the bed, knowing this was the first of many sequential dreams to come and haunt me.

But, as if trying to prove me wrong, something caught my attention, making me hold my breath. There, hanging on my right arm, shone the little heart hanging loosely from the bracelet.

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**AN**: Hi everyone! I tried to make this a little New Moon-ish in the sense of Bella's carelessness and sincerity toward a vampire she knows nothing about. Also, I didn't write her perspective and feelings as catatonic as they were in the book just to make things a little different. I wanted to use the concept of a, emotionally, stronger Bella.


	18. Back To You

**BPOV**

The sound of my alarm, along the merciless sun rays that beamed through my stained window, woke me from my light sleep. Pretending my burdened thoughts wouldn't haunt me today, I sat on the bed, throwing a quick look around in vanes expectations of finding a piece of my dreams.

It's been three days since I dreamt him, since I've been expecting to find him next to me, wishing he'd make disappear these erratic thoughts of throwing away my life. But my waiting has been in vain. Reality proved that my dreams have been just that…_dreams_.

His absence showed clearly his intentions. That was enough impulse for me to go after my twisted plan. Hesitant, I took off the bracelet, still not finding a coherent explanation for it, and locked it in my drawer.

An hour later, once Renée showed off her maternal instinct by lecturing me, I was on my way to the now familiar hospital. I went through a few signs that read _Authorized Personnel Only_ and made my way to the employee's lockers. No one was there.

"Arriving or leaving?" He asked, startling me.

I jerked my head to find him reclined onto the door's frame.

"Seriously, what is it with vampires popping up out of nowhere?"

He smiled.

"You're early."

"And eager."

"It's been only three days, Bella."

"That was enough for me to think it through."

Not to mention that I used those three days to convince him. Time to see how inductive my skills are.

"We'll see about that."

He took a black sweater and a stethoscope from his locker.

"Is your shift starting now?"

"It's ending, actually. I'm always on nocturnal rounds."

"Really? I didn't notice." I admitted. All I knew was that he was there when I stopped by.

He smiled, as if my answer had been obvious to him.

"Yeah…I figured."

I made a face.

"Are we leaving already?"

"Would you mind waiting for me? We'll be on our way in a couple of hours." I felt exasperated with just imagining my blank stare while waiting on a bench. I didn't want more time to think my future through. Apparently, he imagined my concern."I know, I know...but my masters won't be back until late in the afternoon and, even though the ones that could be a threat for you are out of town, I'd feel more assuaged if you weren't surrounded by vamps in the mid-time."

Even strangers procured to keep me safe. This was a whole new level of protectiveness.

"So, I'll have to wait until late afternoon?"

"No, we'll leave right after midday so you can meet part of the coven." He said. "They are the oldest ones so you won't be endangered."

I glanced at him suspiciously before agreeing, knowing that all I could do was trust him from this point on. For the upcoming hours, I managed to stay entertained with the varied lives of his patients, reduced in thin pages that were added to his charts. Luckily, he was the chief in charge so my presence wasn't questioned.

Once I noted the morning was gone, I managed to swallow some tasteless lunch in the cafeteria and waited for him in the locker's room. Minutes later he walked through the door, with his mellow attitude and calmed smile, unnerving me.

"Did you have fun snooping around?"

"Not really," I said. "The smell of blood makes me sick."

"I know. Me too." He grimaced, evoking a laugh out of me. "So, you ready to go?"

No.

"Yeah."

I tensed up, knowing there was no point of return.

"Good."

He held the door opened for me and, on our way out, he covered himself with a cap and a sweater as we started walking through the beaming sunrays. It was nearly impossible to distinguish his skin as it shone underneath his clothes but his face remained exposed. It was to expect that he would take a lonelier street.

"Can I ask you something?" I inquired, putting my hands awkwardly in my pockets.

"You already did." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"How did you get trapped in immortality?"

"I met this guy in a really small town…he was a doctor, and I tried to persuade him so I could join him on his nocturnal lifestyle." He said serious. I eyed him with disbelief and surprise. "Nah, I'm just messing with you, Bella."

I chuckled, looking away.

"Was it so bad?" I dared asking.

His grin vanished.

"A little," he admitted. "I was turned by one of the Volturi...someone named Alec. The entire clan was hunting humans at the remotest towns in Italy and mine was one of them. My entire family was drained, and apparently, they thought they were done with me too. But my heart kept pumping, so the venom took over me. The burning, the thirst, the disorientation…it was all too much at once." he paused, like he was trying to establish and emphasize his point, asking me indirectly to quit my decision. "So, I started wandering, trying to find something that could ease down my desperation. And that's when my masters found me. They helped me develop gifts I never considered having."

"Gifts? Are you one of those vamps with _powers_ or something?"

"Yeah." He simply said, keeping me in expectation. I arched my eyebrows impatiently and he let out a chuckle. "I can heal any type of human conditions and diseases…and inflict wounds on vampires."

So, that's the reason behind his _doctor_ façade.

"You can hurt vamps and heal humans?"

"Ironic, isn't it?"

I snickered.

"Can you heal the _inflicted wounds_ on vampires?"

"I'm not sure. I've never had much practice with my kind…no one likes to volunteer." He smiled. "But last time I checked, the wounds lasted hours to heal. Just like yours would."

"Do all of your friends have these types of _gifts_?"

"Yeah, there are some that have physical abilities and others, like me, have mental ones."

"I hope I can develop one once I'm turned."

"Well, there's one of us that senses the tendencies newborns and humans have and helps them to fully develop it. It's like he can create these…_gifts_ for us." He said "I'm pretty sure he'll give you a hand. We all will."

I nodded slowly, trying to think it through.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

A couple of minutes later, we were taking a secretive way through a hidden blind alley that had a subterranean entrance. Sweat had broken out on my forehead as we started walking deeper into the endless and poorly illuminated tunnel. A few meters ahead, where the lights were almost off, I distinguished two pallid and tall guys, waiting for us but as we walked by the place I had just seen them, their silhouette disappeared in the darkness.

Not far ahead from that spot, I started hearing the echo of their slow footsteps behind us. Curiosity got the best of me.

"Who are they?" I pointed discreetly behind us.

"Part of the group."

"Okay, so…why are they following us so conspicuously? Afraid I'd be a threat?"

"Well...kind of. It's just that we heard some rumors about the Volturi being nearby." He said "Don't get me wrong, Bella. It's not that I mistrust you but my masters insisted on the formalities."

"_Right_. I'm the human who wants to be turned. _Of course_ they should fear me."

He chuckled. "I sensed sarcasm."

"Good. You were supposed to."

His soft laugh echoed in the cramped hallway.

"You're a rebel without cause."

I shrugged a little.

"So, this is like the Mafia. Easy way in but no way out?"

"Not as serious. I don't like being so strict with people that could have the chance to walk away from my kind." He said, and added with a curious and diverted voice. "Are you getting cold feet, Bella?"

"Who? Me? No. Not a chance."

He laughed, enjoying my uneasiness. Just when I was about to give into my nerves and run my way back to daylight, he stopped walking and made his way through some passage, as a radiant light was revealed by an open door.

"After you." He smiled.

My hands were sweaty and my sudden tension didn't let me mutter a word. Stumbling my way, I felt the intruding light hurting my sensible eyes. I stood still once I could fully see the place we were in.

It was an old fashioned room with curved brick walls and relatively large lamps that dissipated the darkness that we leaved a few steps behind. I turned my head to make sure the guards were still observing me but they were gone. We heard a welcoming voice nearby and Luka took the lead, guiding me to a private and warmer chamber that connected to the entrance one.

"Where have you been, Gian? I needed to talk to you." said a blond haired guy.

"Why? What's going on?" Luka asked.

"It's nothing. Poor Giovanni freaked out once I told him how one of the newborns would have drained a human a few days ago if you wouldn't have been there, Gian. You should've seen his face." said a young guy, who appeared in his early twenties, gliding his way from the entrance to Luka's side.

Luka cleared his throat and threw me a quick look and then one back at the young boy.

"What?" the young guy asked distractedly.

"Carlo...always so floppy with that mouth of yours." another vamp said, appearing behind me and joining Luka, standing by his side.

I saw, a little entertained, the spontaneous look on Carlo's face as he raised his eyebrows with a wide smile.

"Oh. It was her? The newbie?" he asked with curiosity.

"Her name is Bella." Luka corrected him.

The four of them shared a quick look and Luka smiled, assuring them.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Introduce us already." The young guy said.

Luka laughed and did as the young one asked, starting by the first one that spoke when we entered.

"Bella, this is Giovanni." I shyly and forcedly spread my lips to form a grin, which Giovanni didn't return. "He can alter gravity at his will, making certain spaces ten times heavier than they usually are. Quite useful when we want to immobilize someone."

Giovanni's expression was serene as he stared at me inquisitively. Then we turned to the last one that entered.

"This is who I talked you about the developing of skills. His name is Petro."

Petro extended his hand formally and I shyly shook it. He seemed more severe and formal than the rest of them.

"You have tendencies to mental abilities, Isabella." He commented. And turning to Luka, added. "She's strong, Gian. Good catch."

"I knew there was something special about her…now we know." Luka said.

Their comments didn't have as much significance to me as they should have. I felt completely indifferent about these _abilities_ they were talking about. They wouldn't fill my needs.

"Good to know. So, I'm guessing I'll be a little bit like you, Petro." I grinned again, lacking of incentive to express any type of excitement. "Is that your only ability?"

It was Luka who answered, as if Petro would explain himself the wrong way and compromise them all.

"Actually, Petro's real gift consists in unconsciousness. He can leave someone subconscious for as long as he wants."

"Even vampires?"

"Yeah. That's what we do when we don't want to fight or hurt somebody."

"I can imagine…" I said. "And you are all Italian, right?"

"Sí." Giovanni answered.

Then we turned to the youngest of them all. His black hair was somewhat curly and the innocent yet somewhat intriguing look upon his face made me feel that strange sensation that I knew him from long ago.

"And…this is Carlo, who manipulates energy."

"Manipulates? So, he can't create it?" I asked Luka.

"Unfortunately," Luka replied with a mischievous grin. "He can't."

"Don't say it like that, Gian. You make me sound weak, man." Carlo said.

I noticed the calmed personality of Carlo and Luka, and how much it differed from Giovanni's and Petro's, whom had barely talked.

"So, are we waiting for the masters, Luka?" Carlo asked, sitting closer to me as if I already belonged to the clan.

"Yeah. I thought they would be here by now."

"I'm guessing they'll get here around midnight since they're dealing with the new integrant." Petro said.

"Oh right. Isn't she the one who erases memories and stuff?" Carlo asked.

A cold shiver ran through my back.

"She can be of great use for us." Giovanni said. The rest agreed.

I didn't want to think the high possibilities of Tanya joining this coven. If that was the case, I'd need a way out of here. And fast. Considering the fact that I didn't have a way to defend myself from her mental tricks, I was completely vulnerable at her will. She could do whatever she'd please with my past, she could alter my future and destroy all the plans that I've so arduously made. She could take it all away.

"So, Bella…how did you find out about vampires?" Carlo asked. "Were you in wrong place at the wrong time?"

"Not really…" I said lowly, not willing to give into details but feeling their expecting eyes subliminally forcing me to. "My ex-boyfriend is one of you."

I thought it safe to connote Edward as part of my past…as much as that hurt. That way he wouldn't be involved with me in any way and he wouldn't be endangered because of me.

"How come you're still human then?" Petro frowned.

I hesitated, this time not willing to give any type of details.

Luka arched his eyebrows, understanding my silence. "Oh. I get it now. He didn't want to turn you."

"Well, that makes sense." Carlo said.

"And why do you want to become one of us?" Petro asked, incredulous.

I was about to answer, though I wasn't sure of what poor lie I would stutter, but all of them turned their heads to stare attentively at the door, in tense expectation.

"What was that?" Giovanni asked, walking toward the entrance of the chamber.

"Maybe the masters are back already." Carlo shrugged.

"They're early." Luka said, frowning in suspicious.

"It doesn't smell like them." Petro said.

Even though I couldn't hear anything besides my uneven breathing and thudding heart, I tried to keep myself from asking.

The distant sound of footsteps became stronger and clearer until stopping at, what I assumed, was the entrance door to our chamber. The door swung open and there, I saw the answer I left unspoken to Petro's question.

Edward stood in the doorway.

"Bella," his voice echoed in the room with obvious relief, as a sad and tired smile flashed on his anxious face.

My voice got lost. I didn't know whether I should start explaining to Luka or start blurting my pain to Edward.

"Who's he?" Luka asked, stepping forward.

"He just broke in, Gian." One of the guards said apologetically, gliding his way from the hallway to stand in front of Luka.

"We'll handle this. Go back to the entrance and check if he came alone." Luka ordered the guards, who obeyed right away.

"One of them?" Carlo asked Luka, surely meaning if Edward belonged to the Volturi.

But Edward ignored them.

"Love," He said, walking toward us. "Are you okay?"

"Don't." I choked in my tumult of emotions, urging him to step back so Luka wouldn't misunderstand his intentions. But it was Edward who misunderstood me. His eyes bewildered as he stared at me with a hint of surprise.

"Please don't do this." he said, giving a few hesitant steps forward.

"Giovanni." Luka said firmly. His serious tone connoted it as an order. Little did I know how right I was.

The air grew thicker within each second that passed slowly by, making my body heavier. Barely breathing through the dense atmosphere Giovanni created, I felt captive of his will.

"I'm not leaving without her." I barely heard Edward hiss, directing his confused glance to Luka.

"Only that you _are_." Luka replied.

I saw how Luka's eyes went blank, his voice turning deeper once he started murmuring something to Giovanni in their native tongue. He simply stared ahead, as if he could cause an impact on Edward's body by just glancing his way, like there was no distance separating them. I saw with angst how Edward's shirtsleeve was torn apart, as his skin yielded and reacted to Luka's will, bleeding slowly.

But, in spite of my vanes cries, Luka didn't cease.

"Stop," I said, feeling my heartbeats pumping agitatedly in my head. A sudden headache fogged my senses, making me see things sharper and strangely distorted. Impotence took over me as I realized there was nothing I could do to free Edward. Powerless, I gave into my sudden fatigue, and, instead of feeling tiredness or something alike, I felt weightless as a feather, floating. Edward drowned a scream, falling to his knees. Ire took the best of me_."Stop!" _

I don't know how but Luka's and Giovanny's body crashed against the brick walls, three chambers away. Edward was surrounded by a misty and opaque light. His panting was labored and heavy, his tired glance talking to me with vivacity, mirroring so many different emotions he couldn't manifest.

"What did you do to them?" Carlo snarled at me.

Giovanni's power weakened over me as I tried to reach out for Edward, who powerlessly gave into fatigue and started closing his eyes, fighting against a lethargic weariness. Jerking my head, I found Petro staring at him, his eyes blank and expressionless like Luka's. Carlo started dimming the lights, or making me believe so, surely taking in consideration that my eyes weren't as intuitive as theirs were in the darkness.

"Don't you _dare _hurting him." I threaded, running toward Petro.

"Step back." was all he said before making my body crash against one of the broken walls. I screamed in pain as the impact of a falling brick hurt my left shoulder.

Last thing I remember seeing before sailing into a blind state of sight was Carlo standing before me. Then I understood. He increased the room's lightness until my eyes couldn't discern anything. My headache faded as I gave into the pain of my dislocated shoulder.

"Don't hurt her, Carlo." I heard Luka intervene, probably gliding through the damaged walls of the chambers his unbreakable body had demolished.

"How can you ask me such thing, Gian?" He asked with a sense of urgency. "You don't know if she's one of them."

"Still, don't hurt her." Luka said serenely. "I'm sure she has a good justification."

I heard Carlo cursing lowly in his native tongue, because _really_, that tone of voice could only be used for cursing, returning my sight to normal. Rubbing my eyes, I saw Luka standing before me.

"Give us one good reason to spare your life." Giovanni said.

My glance deviated to Edward's defenseless body lying unprotected on the ground. I needed to find a way out of here...at least for him. I stood as I could, stumbling before gaining full control over my own feet, and dragged my body to kneel before his, panicking seeing how deep his wounds ran.

"You can do whatever you have to do to me. But he got nothing to do with all of this. He doesn't know anything that might compromise your coven." I said, trying to persuade them but they remained with their emotionless expressions, staring at Edward questioningly.

Luka was the only one to speak.

"You know I can't cure vampires."

"Then put on some gauze...do something, anything." I said, desperate by their tranquility. "Please, just stop the bleeding."

He took a moment before gliding to the next room and back, medical kit in hand. With reluctance, I moved away from Edward's body to give Luka enough space to work. Right away, he tore apart what was left of Edward's shirtsleeve and cleaned his wounds with cotton. Then his hands started moving too fast for my eyes to perceive what he was doing. A few seconds later, part of Edward's chest and right arm were tightly covered in bandages.

Effortlessly, I ignored the comments and murmurs of Petro and Giovanni that claimed to hear my justification. To me, the worst was over. But it had just started for them.

"There. He'll survive," Luka said. "So, would you mind telling me who is he? I'm kind of intrigued now."

"The one who introduced me to your world." I said thoughtlessly, staring at Edward, caressing his forehead.

"So, _this_ is the ex-boyfriend." Carlo said. "How did he find us?"

I remained silent, not caring about their conclusions.

"We should've known this." Giovanni said. "I knew it was strange enough to have a human _wanting_ to be turned."

"This was a trap, Gian. She _knew _she had this ability. She was just waiting to use it against us." Petro said.

"No," I started. "I didn't even know I could do this…whatever _this_ is. I didn't come with intentions of causing so much inconvenience." I turned to face Luka, since I knew he was the only one that could believe me. "I want to be turned. There are no lies beneath that. But I won't step into your coven if he's endangered. He didn't know anything about my turning."

"Then, how can you explain his sudden appearance? How can we be sure that you were not sent by the Volturi?" Carlo asked.

"Because, instead of doing this long process of naivety, I'd have done my move from the start." I said. And looking at Edward, added "But most importantly, I would never cause pain to someone I care about."

"Still…I can't let you go so simply, Bella." I heard Luka say. "Petro…"

I knew what followed that tone of voice...

"There's no need." I shook my head, knowing his sublime order. "I'm not running away. I just need to be with him right now. You guys can turn me once he's cured."

They started mumbling some intangible things and, even though I couldn't understand a word, it was obvious Luka's new orders were not pleasant for any of them, especially for Giovanni, who argued heatedly before darting his way out of the room.

"We're not like the Volturi" Luka finally said, relatively eased, looking at Carlo and Petro. And then, managing his agitated self and keeping his emotions under a flawless control, he showed me his mellow attitude once again, taking a moment before speaking. "We'll take you home, Bella."

"Thank you." I sighed.

"So, what are we doing with him?" Petro asked with disdain, motioning at Edward.

Luka hesitated, frowning. "We're taking him home too, of course. But leave him unconscious until I get back. Don't want him waking up and snapping."

"How can you trust a human so mindlessly, Gian?" Petro said.

"You know what this means to our masters." Carlo added.

"I know...but I believe in second chances." Luka said, stooping over to match my eye level. "You're hurt." He simply noted. "Let's fix you."

As he placed his hands over my broken shoulder, I waited for a healing that never occurred.

"Are you defending yourself from me, Bella?" He asked with tranquility.

"I don't know...why?"

"My power is useless. Makes me think you're unconsciously using yours."

"Sorry. I'm new at this."

"It's okay. I'll cure you the traditional way once we get you home." He smiled, taking his medical kit. "Okay then, let's go."

"Carlo, go with him." Petro ordered. "And don't forget your little buddy." He added with a touch of irony, levitating Edward's body slowly and placing it over Carlo's shoulder, who made a face at Petro.

We covered a different, hidden, path. It was darker and wetter than the one we took to get to the entrance. Little puddles sprinkled water on my jeans. Besides our footsteps, the irregular noise of water drops was the only sound that kept me from my distrait trance.

"This tunnel leads closer to your house, Bella." Luka said.

"You know where I live?"

"You didn't think we'd let you in our clan before digging in your life, did you, Bells?" Carlo smiled. "There's a reason Luka is betting you're not a threat."

I grinned sympathetically.

We took a little longer than Luka anticipated, not only because of my usual pace, but because every single step and slightest move echoed the pain of my shoulder in my entire body.

By the time we got out of the tunnels, we were a bloc away from my house. The night had fallen already and the street lamps illuminated our way like spotlights.

"Carlo, isn't it too shiny in here?"

"My thoughts exactly." Carlo smiled before a sudden blackout ended with the neighborhood's electricity.

"There we go. I think it'll be a little easier to pass unnoticed." Luka said with his permanent smile.

"Nah, the moon is out...that's a light I can't turn off. And those prying neighbors will freak out anyway once they see me carrying this dude's body." Carlo said.

I questioned my own thankfulness toward them, wondering why they were bothering at all.

"Why are you doing this, Luka?" I asked.

He hesitated and tilted his head a little. "I don't know...I guess I'd have liked to be offered a second chance to stay mortal instead of being dragged by death."

"Thanks for believing me."

"_Nessun problema_." He said. "I'm kind of curious though...why were you willing to risk your life for him? What does he really mean to you?"

"Everything."

There was a thoughtful silence as they stared at me and then at Edward. They reacted at the same time.

"Plain and simple." Carlo said.

"That's more than enough." Luka nodded, forcing my house's main lock. He opened it widely before sniffing deeply. "Where's your mom?"

"Probably at the hospital."

"Are we lucky or what?" Carlo smiled.

In the deafening silence of the empty house, Edward's breathing was the only mortifying sound audible.

"Shouldn't we take him to your room or something?" Carlo asked, already walking up the stairs, making his way with confidence. No wonder they've scrutinized my place before.

I searched through the kitchen's cabinets and grabbed a couple of candles and matches to enlighten my poor sight. By the time I felt a little more conform about the situation, I've had already lighten up seven candles in different spots in my room, hating the romantic touch it gave it. I ended up turning five of them off.

With little delicacy, Carlo placed Edward's body on my bed.

Luka stared at Edward, curiosity manifested in his eyes. "Does he belong to a coven...or ever been part of the Volturi?"

"Not really...why?"

"I swear I've seen him before. What's his name?"

"Edward...Cullen." I said unwilling. It was a little exasperating to know how vulnerable we were now.

"Cullen?"

I nodded.

"Maybe you know his father," I said "Carlisle Cullen."

Then he arched his eyebrows, pleased.

"Yeah, of course. That's it. Dr. Carlisle. Really kind person. He earned my respect by quitting the Volturi."

"Who's that?" Carlo asked.

"An old friend. We met some decades ago, both running away from the Volturi." Luka explained. "But I ran into him in a conference a couple of years back. I saw him really attached to some young fellows. I guess Edward was one of them."

"That's...good to hear." I sighed in relief.

"Now I know you wouldn't betray us." Luka said.

"Well, I guess this is it." Carlo said. "Let's go, Gian. Leave the two lovebirds alone. I bet Bella is dying to have some time with her charming prince."

I smiled nervously. Truth was, I felt terrified to have Edward waking up and looking at me with his meaningful eyes.

"Yeah, just give me a second. I need to fix Bella's shoulder." He replied, turning to me. "Bella...could you um…change into comfier clothes?"

I lifted an eyebrow.

"_What_?"

"Comfier clothes that may leave your shoulder exposed."

"Like a strapless shirt." Carlo said, sitting on the window's frame.

"Oh...right." I murmured. My cheeks grew warmer as I searched in my closet relying on my good shoulder, digging through my pile of plaid shirts and sweaters. I sighed.

"Not the party type of girl, are you, Bella?" Carlo asked.

"Not really..." I admitted, finally spotting an old strapless shirt Renee bought me years ago.

I managed to change in the bathroom without hurting that much, feeling a little awkward with the shirt, not used to the sense of fashion it had. Carlo stared attentively at me as I walked out.

"You look-"

"_Carlo_." Luka glared at him. "You know her boyfriend is unconscious…not dead, right?" Carlo laughed innocently and my cheeks turned warm again.

Once I sat next to Edward, Luka put on some ointment and bandages, and made a painful pressure over my bone to fix the dislocation. He took some medicine out of his kit and placed it on my bedside. "Alright. Take these and all the pain will be gone. Stop by the hospital tomorrow to see if a cast would be needed. I'm sure you'll be healed in a few days anyways."

As soon as he was done, I put one of my plaid shirts over the strapless one.

"Thank you, Luka…for everything. You've been really patient with all of this."

He smiled in response. "You take care, Bella."

"Yeah. Hope to see you turned in a couple of decades." Carlo added.

A few seconds later, I stood all alone beside Edward's body. His skin seemed less ghostly and more natural...more alive. I stared at the rise and fall of his chest, his breathing eased and slow now. With hesitance, I touched his forehead, feeling it warmer than it usually is. As soon as our skins made contact, my touch turned into caresses.

Though I've inhibited myself to do it, I searched through my locked drawer and held my little bracelet under the moonlight, making its tiny heart sparkle.

"I didn't know if you'd like it since it's nothing especial...but I thought it was ironic how alike it is to my own heart." His melodic voice said weakly. "Now I see the similarities you have with this moonlight…the way you make this little heart of mine shine like it has life of its own."

There was a moment of silence as I looked away, biting my tongue to prevent my words of devotion from falling out. I decided to ignore the effect his words had on me…even though I couldn't tell for how long I'd keep myself together.

His expression was anxious as his glance wandered in mine, looking for the specific spot to see through my iris into my fragile and wounded soul.

"Are you okay?" I tried to change the subject, pretending to sound careless but my walls crumbled, leaving my voice as a weak whisper. My hand barely touched his face as he closed his eyes momentarily with a shy grin.

"You saved me. I can't ask for more."

I shook my head.

"I don't even know what I did."

He remained silent, staring intensely at me. I avoided his piercing glance, feeling my body and soul naked at the vulnerability he was provoking from me.

He squeezed my hand lightly and brought it to his lips.

"I missed you, love."

His words were so simple and yet their effects on me were so complex. I couldn't confess the depth of my scars. I needed to be strong to, at least, _pretend_ to fool myself, to make believe that I could resist him, that pain could overcame love anytime…pretend. It was all I could do.

He understood my silence, or got edgier by it, and decided to speak, derailing my train of thoughts.

"I talked to Jacob a few days ago. He told me why you leaved…" he said, touching my chin lightly, looking at me with his sad eyes. "He asked me not to come after you. And, for the past days, I gave in…I gave up."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"He said you leaved because of me."

"That's not-I didn't even know you were coming back." I said. "All this time I thought you were on your own."

"My only own is you."

"Don't tell me these things…not when you're still having doubts about us."

"I've never doubted us, love."

His voice came subtle and soft, caressing my bare skin.

"Then, why did you leave? You thought I'd desist on my turning? That I'd forget about us and run back to Jake?"

"No," he said lowly. "It's nothing like it."

"Then, what is it like, Edward? Tell me what is it that keeps you from letting me in, what could justify your runaway."

"Fear," He admitted lowly and unwilling. "Fear of losing you...but looks like that happened already." Holding back my urge to tell him just how wrong he was, I kept silence but managed to look him in the eyes. But he dragged his glance to my shoulder, staring at my bandage. "I keep hurting you...even when we are apart."

I shook my head.

"It was just an oversight. I'm fine."

He caressed gently my shoulder, his fingers burning against my skin.

"An oversight that wasn't meant to happen...just like I wasn't meant to come back in your life," he said, resting his forehead on my unharmed shoulder. "But I couldn't stand the thought of living in your absence."

Pain and irony took the best of me.

"I'm sure you'd do just fine without me, Edward."

"I wouldn't dare to try." He said. If I could just ignore the wounds my soul insisted on showing, the past my heart insisted on dragging…"I rather spend the rest of my existence living from our memories than trying to imitate what we had with someone else."

He took off the plaid shirt from my shoulders, leaving my bruised skin unprotected. Slowly, he leaned in. I felt his lips skimming my neck, my clavicle, part of my shoulder, my forearm...he was all over me.

And I felt ready to manifest what he'd had enough courage to confess.

"I missed you too."

He raised his head a little, enough to let our gazes meet. I barely felt his nose against mine as he breathed out. His warm scent stunned me, weakening me ever so gently. In spite of my need of him, I let him make the move. It was a matter of seconds before our lips touched. He was more voracious and decisive than ever before. Maybe it was the thought of being without each other, maybe the rush of the moment. All I know is that I responded with the same hunger and a deep need that wouldn't go away, parting his lips. Our rhythm changed, turning more agitated and aggressive than before as we fell onto the bed, his body tightly pressed against mine.

Hesitant, I leaned away for air, and felt him placing his forehead on my chest.

"I know you'd think this will be like the last time, that this will be just another empty promise-"

'I'm-I'm not...even thinking right now."

"Sorry," he breathed on me with a smile, falling next to me on the bed.

"I know you are not" I smiled too. "You need to work on your open door policy whenever blame is involved."

"We have all eternity to work on that...don't we, dear?" He inquired, entwining his fingers with the little curls on my hair.

"Oh, really? So you _have_ considered the turning?"

He grimaced and frowned, looking away. Slowly, my finger traced his jaw and I leaned in to kiss him gently. His frown vanished as he moaned softly.

"I uh...yes, I have considered the turning." I could tell he read my skepticism as I stared at him. "But you don't believe me, do you?"

I shrugged shyly with a playful smile. "You've always been against it..."

"But I...I don't want anyone else turning you." his voice turned into a lovely whisper, so seductive. Absently, I felt his arms wrap me tightly.

"So, this means you will be the one to do it?"

"With one condition." he said with a naughty voice.

"I knew it." I couldn't help but to sigh.

"It's more of a reminder since you already promised."

"I did?"

"When you were amnesiac."

And _then_ I remembered. I knew where this was going...and boy, what I wouldn't give to be amnesiac right now.

"About…commitment?" I dared to ask. He nodded. "_Oh God_."

"It doesn't have to be right away...and it doesn't have to be something big and fuzzy." He said. "It'll be special in any way you decide to do it."

I was prepared to sink myself in denial and drop anchor in my ocean of doubts...but this was all I had to give. All he was asking of me. The sacrifice behind my promise would be just for a couple of hours...but his promise would last for all eternity. He agreed on doing something he dislikes just for my happiness...it would be selfish to not return the gesture.

"Fine. But I have so many conditions you'll probably freak out and desist on it...starting by a _consumated _marriage."

In response, I saw him smiling, letting his shoulders drop in relief.

"I'll be _pleased _to satisfy your petition."

He leaned in and I stood still, in a pleasant expectation of tasting him again. I was planning on giving him a preview of what I meant by a _consumated marriage_. But the sound of a engine made me lean away.

"Is that Renée?" I asked, trying to take a look from my window but he held me still by the waist. And, much for my dismay, I heard him _laughing_. "Yeah, it's _so_ good to know I can _amuse_ you, Edward."

"Don't worry, love. It's not her. Besides, once she gets home, it'll take her a while to get the fusils fixed." He murmured on my neck. He leaned back slightly. My eyes went wide as I stared at him. He expected words to fall out of my mouth, to mutter my surprise, to share with him my sudden disbelief...but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I didn't want to think what this could possibly mean."Bella? What's wrong?"

"Your eyes." I barely whispered.

"_My eyes_." He repeated, relieved and amused, holding back a smile.

"They're green." He looked at me confusingly. I touched his forehead and noticed his skin wasn't prickly and cold as it has been before. Opening my palm, I placed it on his chest, where his heart was supposed to be. I felt a weak, inconsistent, pump of blood. "Your heart...is beating."

He stared at me as if my words were senseless and incoherent. It took him a moment to speak again...and I saw in his face the same look that I must have had on mine.

"Could this be a side effect to Luka's ability?"

"If it is...how long will it last?"

"I can't tell. But I bled, which means venom came out instead of blood. This should last as long as my system recovers all the venom I lost."

"So, it'd be just for a couple of hours..." I concluded, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice. Without any warning, he acted out of impulse, letting his lips brush against mine with a slowness that affected what was left of my nerves, feeling them touch but not crash in the fierce way our needs demanded. It was a tentative kiss, as if he was afraid I might reject him. "But I guess a couple of hours will be enough." I murmured, nibbling his lower lip.

He chuckled.

"Feeling a little naughty, aren't we, dear?"

"You have no idea." I said, tracing his bare back with my hand.

"Oh,_ I think I do_."

I heard his low laugh as he turned the candles off.

**END**

**AN**: Hey! So, I just _had_ to name this chapter after John Mayer's song. It's an instant reminder of E/B for me : ) I tried posting a couple of links to share with you what my Italian coven would have looked like in flesh and bone but apparently that's not possible in FF. You guys, please let me know if I'm missing the correct way to do it.

Feel free to share your thoughts with me! I would love some advices and criticism to improve my writing.


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